The Approval Trap

While researching for one of my trainings, I discovered that over 70% of people feel like they can’t be themselves in different places like work or church. They wear a mask of who they think the people will like in order to be liked and accepted. I call this the approval trap. We fall into this trap when we shift our identity to make someone else happy, when we stay silent instead of speaking up and when we allow our emotions to rise and fall based on what others think of us. We can say that we don’t care what others think of us, but to some degree we do. This affects all of us and becomes problematic when it keeps us from obedience to God.

There are several examples in the Bible of this phenomenon. Aaron at Mount Sinai crafted a golden calf for the people. King Saul was afraid his men were going to abandon him when the prophet wasn’t showing up at the moment he had hoped. He then gave the sacrifice that only a priest could give. Pilate gave the crowd permission to crucify Jesus even though he found no default in Him. Peter even fell into it with strangers when they asked if he was with Jesus. He denied knowing Him three times. As you can see we are all susceptible to this trap no matter how close to Jesus we are or how high of a position we hold.

Proverbs 29:25 says, “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety” (NLT). It’s a dangerous trap to allow opinions, pressures and expectations from others to keep us from obeying God. When that happens we fear others more than God. It shows a lack of trust in His plan for our life and His sovereignty over us. We can either bow to peer pressure or to the Lord. The wants and expectations of people are constantly shifting and it will wear you out trying to live up to those. In the end, the only approval we need is from God. If you find yourself falling into the dangerous approval trap, ask God to give you courage to be obedient to Him so you can stand up for what’s right in His eyes.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash