Tag Archives: be yourself

Removing The Mask

There’s a study that shows over 70% of people feel like they can’t be themselves at work. I wonder what that percentage is for people around their spouse or friends. My guess is it’s pretty high too. We wear these masks because we’re afraid to be vulnerable for fear that if they knew the real me, they wouldn’t like me. The problem is the less vulnerable we are with people, the more shallow the relationship. My closest friends pretty much know everything about me. They’ve seen my ugly side, they know my past and I’ve seen theirs as well. We’ve given each other space to be each other’s authentic self. We’ve given each other permission to be human and to remove the masks. Because we’ve done that, we are able to help each other with the burdens we typically try to hide. Those tend to be the heaviest.

I saw a video ad this week talking about the Apostle Paul. It talked about taking a tour of going where he lived and walked. It also promised to reveal the authentic Paul. It then ended with, “No one liked Paul.” I couldn’t help but think that wasn’t true. Paul was definitely his authentic self in front of people, but I know Barnabas and Timothy liked him. They had mutual respect for each other. Even though they disagreed, Paul and Barnabas patched things up. We know Timothy was vulnerable with Paul because paul encouraged him to not let anyone look down on him because of his youth. In 1 Timothy 1:6-7, Paul encouraged Timothy when Timothy didn’t feel like he was enough for the ministry. Paul reminded him of his calling. They helped each other with the burdens of ministry because they were real with each other.

Paul wrote in Galatians 6:2, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ” (NLT). The word “bear” meant to carry away, while the word “burdens” means weights. We can only carry the burdens of people who are able to take their masks off and share them with us. It’s also a command to us to do the same with others. It doesn’t just mean we carry theirs. It implies we must be willing to take our mask off and share what is weighing us down as well. When we are able to be this vulnerable and open we can truly love each other the way Christ commanded us to. Think about the masks you put on to keep people away from knowing the real you. That’s a burden all by itself. It’s time to find a true friend you can take the mask off with and let them share your weights. It’s also time you gave them permission to take their mask off too. Only then can we truly share each other’s burdens.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk.

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Remove Your Mask

When I teach the DISC personality assessment to a team, I help them understand how they are wired, how they communicate and why they behave certain ways in certain circumstances. One of the things we discuss in team dynamics is how over 70% of people feel they have to be someone they’re not at work. That same statistic holds true for being around other groups as well. The people in that category put on a mask in order to become that personality either because they feel the dynamics require it, because it’s expected of them or because they’re afraid of what people would think if they knew how they really are. We then discuss how tiring it is to try to be someone you aren’t. Sooner or later it gets exposed somewhere in your life, often in a blind spot.

On the night Judas betrayed Jesus, Peter followed behind the soldiers to see what would happen. As he stood in the courtyard of the High Priest watching them beat Jesus, a young girl walked up said she had seen him with Jesus. Peter immediately denied it and said he didn’t know what she was talking about. He moved to another part of the courtyard and another girl said the same thing. Peter denied it again swearing by an oath. Then the crowd noticed and also said his accent gave him away. He began to curse and swear to prove he didn’t know Jesus. That’s when the rooster crowed and Jesus looked at him. He mask had been exposed so he ran away and wept bitterly.

The first part of Romans 12;2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes]” (AMP). You and I no longer need to wear a mask that makes us look like the world. We have been transformed into a new creation. Our minds must be renewed by God’s Word that shows us how we are to live. This new life is who we truly are and it is not the way the world lives. There is a constant pressure to fit into a world where we don’t belong, and that pressure is not from God. As believers we can’t succumb to it or we will suffer the way Peter did that night. The good news is that also like Peter, we can become who God had created us to be and live with boldness the way he did after the resurrection. It’s time we took off the superficial mask and lived a transformed life.

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