Tag Archives: building relationships

Becoming God’s Partner

When my wife and I go somewhere with a group, I become a social butterfly and she looks for a place to hide. If we need to keep a low profile, she’ll jokingly say, “Don’t get any Social Security numbers.” I like to know about people. I like hearing their story, and do my best to look for avenues for us to connect. Hen you connect with people, they begin to pull down their invisible wall one brick at a time. Once their wall is down, you can really get to know the person and find out what’s really going on inside them or what they’re going through. It’s then that I can give them solutions that they’ll listen to and implement. If I never connect, I never get that opportunity.

The apostle Paul, who wrote the most books in the New Testament was a learned, well traveled person. He too looked for ways to connect with people. Everywhere he went, people gravitated to him and he had the opportunity to share the message of Christ. He attracted large crowds and was not afraid to get up and speak. He understood the importance of relational equity. People won’t listen to the hard things you have to say unless you’ve built some equity into the relationship. He was able to build it with the early churches. Because of that, he could correct in love and point them to a better way of living. He was also able to use that to share the Gospel with many different nationalities and people groups.

In 1 Corinthians 9:22-23, Paul wrote, “I became “weak” to the weak to win the weak. I have adapted to the culture of every place I’ve gone so that I could more easily win people to Christ. I’ve done all this so that I would become God’s partner for the sake of the gospel” (TPT). Paul became all things to all people so that He could partner with God. I know the thought of meeting and talking to large groups of people terrifies many of you. However, God can partner with you using your personality and skill set if you’ll be open to it. You don’t have to be a social butterfly for God to do great things through you. Wherever you go, whomever you meet, look for opportunities to connect so that God can do something in someone’s life. God does some of His greatest work in people’s lives in one on one situations. In nearly every case, He looks to partner with someone like you.

Photo by Cytonn Photography:

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Retaliation, Revenge and Relationships

One of the hardest things for any of us is to not retaliate when someone wrongs us. Everything in us wants to hurt them as badly or worse than they hurt us. Consider any argument you’ve had, especially with someone you love. If we don’t like what they said (or how they said it), we take it as a personal attack, whether it was intended that way or not. Instead of defending our position, we retaliate with a personal attack. Very quickly the argument can escalate to something that is not even what the original comment was about. When our first response is to retaliate, we risk relationships. I think that’s why God wants us to do the opposite of what our natural inclination is.

If a relationship with Him is what He seeks, and we are to be known for our love (relationships), then we shouldn’t retaliate. Instead, God asks us to do the opposite of retaliation. He asks us to bless the person who attacks us. God understands that when we bless others back instead of retaliating, we preserve the relationship. I’m not saying this is easy to do, but if we understand God’s reasoning, maybe it will cause us to pause the next time we want to retaliate. When in doubt, bless others. How you respond could help change how they view Christians and ultimately God.

Here are some verses on not retaliating.

1. Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.

1 Peter 3:8-9 NLT

2. Resist revenge, and make sure that no one pays back evil in place of evil but always pursue doing what is beautiful to one another and to all the unbelievers.

1 Thessalonians 5:15 TPT

3. Never take revenge, my friends, but instead let God’s anger do it. For the scripture says, “I will take revenge, I will pay back, says the Lord.”

Romans 12:19 GNT

4. Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for his deed.”

PROVERBS 24:29 AMP

5. Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.

Romans 12:17 NLT

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

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A Call to Love

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to truly love people. As Christians, we are called to love others. Jesus said that the world would know we are His disciples by our love for others, but is that what we are known for? I’ve been reminded a few times this week through conversations and quotes I’ve read that we need to learn to love more than we are. We spend more time judging than we do loving and that’s a problem.

One of the quotes I read this week came from Mother Teresa. It said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” We have to fight against our human nature with this one. It’s easy to sit and judge, but difficult to go and love. Loving others requires us to act and it’s not an easy thing to do at times. Judging simply involves talking and requires little effort. It’s up to each one of us to consciously keep our mouths closed and to show others love instead.

Another quote I was reminded again came from Peter Strople. He said, “When in doubt, love.” If you aren’t sure what to do in a certain situation, ask yourself how you can show God’s love to that person. If you were the on,y one who had the opportunity to show God’s love to them, what would God ask you to do? Don’t pass the buck. You may be the only person who can show them God’s love and He is waiting on you to act on His behalf. Mark Batterson said, “Inaction is action. Indecision is a decision.” By not doing anything, you are telling them everything.

I also read an article about Uncle Si Robertson from Duck Dynasty this week. He was asked what his favorite verse was. He said, “John 3:17. Everybody knows verse 16, but nobody looks at verse 17.” In the Message it says, “God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending His son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help.” Jesus didn’t spend His time judging sinners. He spent His time building relationships with them. Why aren’t we following His model?

I’m writing this today to myself as much as to anyone else that bears the name Christian. We are known more for judging than for loving. We are known for pointing fingers instead of helping hands. We’ve been so caught up in being in the world, not of the world that we’ve built walls between the ourselves and the ones we’re called to help. It’s no wonder that church growth is comprised mainly of switchers instead of new converts. We spend time and money trying to build a better service than the church down the road instead of spending time and money on things that help to build the relationships needed to truly grow the Church.

It all comes down to love. It’s not our minister’s job to do it, it’s ours. They can’t touch as many people as we, the body, can collectively. We can’t grow the Church because we’ve separated ourselves from those who need God’s love in an effort to stay clean. Jesus hung out with leppers, prostitutes and the worst of sinners because that’s who needs His love the most. It’s time we followed His example, built relationships with unbelievers and showed them His love in action. Don’t sit in judgement behind walls. Get your hands dirty and love others.

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