When people tell me that they’re getting married or thinking about it, I tell them two things. The first is that marriage is a magnifier. All the great things about the love of your life will be magnified and will be that much better. On the other hand, all the things that drive you nuts will be magnified as well. The second thing I tell them is that marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do. It’s a lifetime of putting someone else’s needs above your own. To be successful, you’ll need to put away your all about me attitude (which is all you’ve known) and put your energy and effort into all about us.
Love requires work. Hard work. When I think about someone working hard for love, I think about Jacob in Genesis 29. His dad wanted him to travel back to the land of his ancestors to find a wife. Upon arriving, he met Rachel at a well. He told her his story and she ran to tell her dad Laban. After working for her dad for a month, Laban said, “You shouldn’t work for me without pay just because we are relatives. Tell me how much your wages should be.” In verse 18, Jacob replied, “I’ll work for you for seven years if you’ll give me Rachel , your younger daughter, as my wife.”
After they agreed, Jacob worked seven years for her. The Bible says that his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days. On their wedding night, Laban swapped daughters on Jacob and gave him Leah to consummate the marriage with. It wasn’t until the morning that Jacob realized it. When he protested, Laban told him that their custom was that the older daughter needed to be married first. He then said, “But wait until the bridal week is over; then we’ll give you Rachel too – provided you promise to work another seven years for me.” He married Rachel a week later and worked another seven years.
To put that into perspective, think about what you make per year and multiply that be seven. Now double that number and you have what Jacob was willing to pay for Rachel. That’s a lot of work and a lot of money. Jacob was willing to put in the time and effort because of his love for her. The first seven years flew by as he anticipated marriage. The Bible doesn’t say the same thing for the second seven. He had the wife he wanted, but he had to continue working. He had to put in the long hours at work, but he also had to work on his marriage. It wasn’t perfect. Chapter 30 starts off with an argument they had.
Marriage will have arguments, misunderstandings and miscommunications because it involves two humans. It won’t and can’t be perfect. But when two people love each other and are committed to working for the other one and the relationship, then it works. Like I said in the beginning, it’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but the rewards for the hard work are worth it. To quote I Corinthians 13:5, “It (love) does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged.” Love is not selfish and that takes a lot of work.
Devotions by Chris Hendrix 