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Sorry

  
It’s been my experience that there are different types of being sorry. The first type is one we’ve all been guilty of. It’s the “sorry I got caught” sorry. You’re forced to say you’re sorry because you were busted, but the only thing you’re really sorry about is that you got caught. There’s also the “sorry” sorry. That’s when you do something and do truly feel bad about it. You may or may not apologize with this one because there’s no accountability. Then there’s the “sorry after I got caught” sorry. With this one, you got busted, but that triggered the true sorry response. You realize you got out of control and apologize for it.

In II Samuel 11, David should have gone off to war, but he didn’t. He stayed behind and sent someone else to do the hard work in the war. Then when the final battle was to take place, David would go lead that charge, and take credit for the whole victory. While he stated behind, he saw a beautiful woman bathing. He sent for her and slept with her knowing she was married. When she told him she was pregnant, he sent for her husband to come back from the war hoping he would sleep with her and would think the baby was his own. When that plan failed, David had him killed in battle.

David sent for the woman, married her, and that was that. Well, at least until the prophet came and called David out. David broke down. He had a “sorry after I got caught” sorry moment. In that sorrow, he wrote one of the most heartfelt repentant prayers in Psalm 51:7-10. “Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.”

David recognized right away that his sin was a heart issue. He also knew that even though he was guilty of adultery and murder, God could forgive him and restore him. He recognized that God responds to us when we truly are sorry for our sins and aren’t just offering lip service to him. He wrote in verses 16-17, “You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.” The type of sorry we are over our sins matters to God. He’s looking at our heart more than our words.

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Not “It”!

I remember playing chasing games as a kid. To determine who was “it”, we would all say, “Not it,” and the last one to say it was “it”. If we didn’t like the outcome, we’d try it again. “1-2-3- not it!” At the dinner table, the person who had to pray was the last one to the table and had their thumb up with their hand resting on the table. We’d rush to the kitchen to sit down and have our thumb up so we wouldn’t be “it”. So much of our lives we rush and do our best to not be “it”. When something needs to be done, we’d rather that someone else do it rather than us volunteer for it.

In Isaiah 6, he speaks of going to Heaven and seeing The Lord. When he realized what was happening, he panicked. He realized he was unworthy to be there. During his panic, an angel flew to him with a burning coal from the altar and touched his lips. The angel said, “See, this coal has touched your lips. Now your guilt is removed, and you sins are forgiven.” Just then he heard The Lord ask, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” Instead of saying, “Not it,” or putting his thumb up, Isaiah said, “Here I am. Send me.”

He volunteered for a job that many of us have tried to get out of most of our lives. We use the excuse that we are not qualified to go on His behalf. But all through scripture, God uses the least qualified. He likes to use the least qualified because it makes the outcome that much greater of a testimony to His ability. We also use the excuse of, “I’m not perfect” or “I have too many sins to be used by God.” That’s what was happening to Isaiah when the angel came and removed his sins. God doesn’t need someone perfect to carry out His plan, He needs someone willing.

When you look at the imperfect people that God did the most amazing things through, it shows He can use anyone. Moses had a low self esteem and anger issues, yet he delivered Israel from Egypt. David committed adultery and murder, yet he is the most famous King of Israel and wrote most of Psalms. Peter was impulsive and ran his mouth too much, yet Jesus told him that he would be the cornerstone for the Church. Paul persecuted Christians and killed them, yet God used him to win thousands and to write most of the New Testament. There’s no excuse we can give as to why God can’t use us. It comes down to agreeing to say, “Yes. Here am I.”

You don’t have to be afraid of what God has called you to do. You don’t have to worry about failure. Even if you fail doing what God asks, you are successful in His eyes because you stepped out in faith. Failure is the greatest stepping stone to success and obedience is the greatest stepping stone to miracles. God is looking for the person who relishes being last to get their thumb up and will volunteer to say, “It!” Isaiah did and God used him in a mighty way. Who knows what God can accomplish through all of your imperfections. My guess is it will be nothing short of amazing.

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