Tag Archives: friends

October 31, 2024 · 5:30 AM

Your Inner Circle

When I was a kid, I began to hear my parents tell me, “You become like those you run with. Choose wisely.” Those were wise words to a child, but they’re also wise words to you as an adult. We like to think that people don’t change us, but the truth of the matter is that each of us are being sharpened and shaped by the people closest to us. They’re the ones whom we let down our facade the most with to show who we really are. Because of that vulnerability, they become the people who shape our decisions, our interests and even direction of our life. Your innermost circle of friends even determine the level of success you’ll have in life. You can’t soar with eagles if you’re scratching around with turkeys all the time.

The Bible has a lot to say about friendships. It gives examples of people like David and Jonathon who were willing to sacrifice everything for each other. There’s also Paul and Timothy whose friendship was one where Paul was a mentor as he shaped this young pastor. However, Job had some friends that gave him bad advice and weren’t able to endure the suffering with their friend. They used their influence in his life to try to misrepresent God and affect his relationship with Him. The people we let in our innermost circle of friends shape even our relationship with God, so it’s eternally important to choose wisely.

In Psalm 101:6 David says, “My innermost circle will only be those whom I know are pure and godly. They will be the only ones I allow to minister to me” (TPT). He understood the importance of that group on his relationship with God and wanted to protect it most. Who are you allowing to minister to you and to shape your relationship with God? Are they pushing you closer to Him or are they misrepresenting God to you? If they’re not making you sharper, challenging you to grow more or improving your relationship with God, they’re holding you back. David was selective about who he let into that group, and we should be too. God is calling us to greater maturity, faith and relationship with Him. Are the people closest to you influencing you in that direction?

Photo by Kingsley Osei-Abrah on Unsplash

Throwback Thursday is a feature I’m using to help build some margin into my schedule to pursue other ventures. Each Thursday I’ll be bringing you a previously written devotional that still speaks encouragement to us from God’s Word.

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March 7, 2023 · 5:42 AM

Faith Of Friends

It’s been said that you become like those you hang out with and that you are the average of the five people you hang out with the most. When you’re growing up, your friends are pretty much chosen for you. They’re limited to kids in your neighborhood or in your class. As you get older, you get to choose the people you have around you. It often depends on where you choose to go or hang out. I’ve had friends in my life who have encouraged me to do some pretty stupid things (and I’ve done them). I’ve also had friends who encouraged me to try some pretty amazing things (and I’ve done those too). Our friends affect our beliefs, our actions and our life.

In Matthew 9, when Jesus had crossed the Sea of Galilee and arrived in Capernaum, a group of people met Him. They had a friend on a stretcher who was paralyzed. Verse 2 says that when Jesus saw how much faith these people had, he told the person on the stretcher to take courage. He then forgave that person’s sins. The religious people flipped out and Jesus asked them which was easier, to forgive sins or to heal someone. Both were impossible for man, but possible for God. He then told the paralyzed person to get up and walk. The man stood up and walked away with his friends. It never mentioned his faith though, only the faith of his friends.

Proverbs 12:26 says, “The righteous person is a guide to his friend, but the path of the wicked leads them astray” (GNT). We are all guiding others around us, and we are being guided by them too. When your faith is low and you need God’s help, will the people around you carry you to Him and believe for you when you can’t? If not, it’s time to find new people because we all face times when our strength and hope are gone. The people we surround ourselves with will either guide us to God or lead us astray. It’s important that we also look in the mirror. Are you the type of friend who would get a stretcher and carry a friend to Jesus when they can’t? God doesn’t just rely on our faith and trust in Him when we need help. He looks at the Faith of the people around us who are praying too.

Photo by adrianna geo on Unsplash

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August 16, 2022 · 5:54 AM

Our Influencers

Who are you influenced by? We live in a world now where someone’s job is to influence you to buy products from companies. Beyond that, there are people who influence every area of your life. There are people who influence how you speak, where you go, how you act and more. The list goes on. Do you remember your parents telling you that you will become like those you run with? They were right. We’re influenced by the people we’re around for good or bad. They are the ones whom we give the power to influence our thinking, our decision making and our relationship with God. The people we’re around will either draw us closer to God or push us further away.

In 1 Kings 12, Solomon’s son Rehoboam had become king. The leaders of Israel requested a meeting with him. They told him that his father worked them to the bone, and asked if he would lighten their load. In return, they would be loyal subjects. Rehoboam went to his father’s advisors. They agreed that he should ease restrictions and have peace. Then he went to his friends. They gave him the opposite advice. They thought he should add more work and prove he was greater than his father. When he went with their advice, the people revolted and the kingdom split. They way he judged the people around him cost him dearly.

2 Corinthians 5:16 says, “So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now!” (NLT) The word “evaluating” here means to judge or to be influenced by. We can’t judge or be influenced by people from a worldly point of view. We must hold the people we allow into our lives to a higher standard. We run the risk of a split kingdom in our lives when we allow the wrong people to have influence on our decision making. Are the people you’re around drawing you closer to God or are they causing you to blur lines you would have never blurred before? As believers, we must have a different set of evaluation tools than the world. We know Christ and the standards in His Word. The people around us should be influencing us to be more like Him.

Photo by Muhammed Fayiz on Unsplash

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February 9, 2022 · 5:55 AM

Don’t Fall Alone

One night I got a call from a friend’s wife. When I answered, I heard, “See if you can talk some sense into him!” I could hear him crying before he grabbed the phone. He was spiraling downhill and couldn’t stop. For days he had not been able to pull out of this depression and it was reaching the point of no return. I grabbed my keys as I kept him talking while I drove to his house. After about an hour of talking, he pulled up out of it. After a few days, he called back to thanks me, but was upset that I was called. I explained that friends aren’t just there in the good times. They’re there to help us when we’re low and can’t break free too.

The Bible is full of friendships, and when we think of them, Jonathan and David too the list. However, one of the friendships that has always stood out tome is Job’s three friends. I know they didn’t give him good advice, but I love that when they heard what he was going through, they showed up. I also love what Job 2:13 says. “Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words” (NLT). Sometimes you just need someone to be present with you instead of words. People like that, who show up in the most desperate times, save lives without having to say a word. Their presence let’s you know you’re not alone. No words needed.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” Don’t let pride stand in your way when you need the presence of a friend. Don’t let your pain or embarrassment keep you from reaching out. Every one of us have low moments in life when we need the help of someone to pull us up. Make sure you take time to identify those people in your life who can help you in the low times. Let them know now that they are the person you will call. They don’t have to have a degree in counseling. They don’t have to have all the answers or the right words. They just need to be present so you don’t fall alone.

Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash

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January 27, 2022 · 5:30 AM

Finding Your Encourager

I’ve always heard that each of needs someone in our life who is mentoring us to help pull us up to that next level. I’ve also heard that each of us needs to be mentoring someone who needs help getting to where we are now. What I really don’t hear much about is having someone in your life who is at the same place in life as you. All three roles are important, but I think this role is the most important. This is the person you do life with. They’re the one who is in the trenches with you when life gets ugly. They’re the one who won’t let you give up because they know your potential and challenge you to fight another day. They’re also the one that sharpens you by disagreeing with you at times to help you see through other lenses than your own.

This kind of relationship isn’t easy to have, which is why many of us don’t look for one. This person is more than a friend. They’re a pusher. Friends usually avoid conflict of any kind with you and keep the peace. This person isn’t afraid to speak the truth in love that you need to hear. They’re not going to disappear when times get tough or be too busy when you fail. They hold a mirror up to you, not to embarrass you, but to challenge you to be all that God created you to be. They don’t just cheer you on either. They remind you of why you do what you do.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (NLT). This isn’t just talking about a friend. This is talking about your encourager, the one I’m describing. If you haven’t identified your encourager, ask God to show you who it is. Look at the Kingdom connections around you and find that person. If you know who it is, thank God for putting them in your life. Make sure they know you’re thankful too. They’ve helped you succeed when you’ve felt like quitting and stood by you in the hard times. In return, be the encourager that they need as well and fill that role in their life because we all need that person in our lives.

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Throwback Thursday is a feature I’m using to help build some margin into my schedule to pursue other ventures. Each Thursday I’ll be bringing you a previously written devotional that still speaks encouragement to us from God’s Word.

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June 24, 2021 · 5:30 AM

Relationship Goals

When I was a teen, someone told me, “You become like those you run with.” When I was a young adult, someone told me, “You show me who your friends are, and I’ll show you who you are.” Then several years later, someone told me, “If you want to soar with eagles, you can’t be scratching around in the dirt with turkeys.” All these reminders have been about the importance of choosing who you choose to hang out with. Either the group you’re with will hold you back or help you get to that next level.

As I’ve lived my life, I can honestly say that these messages are true. Close relationships are the greatest influencers of your success or failure. If you’re constantly failing and are stuck in a bad place, you need to walk away from the relationships that are holding you back. Your life will not change until you change your relationships. If you want your life to improve, associate with people who are ahead of you and are moving in the right direction. This works for spiritual and economic growth as well.

As Paul was grooming Timothy to be a leader, he gave him the same advice. 2 Timothy 2:22 says, “Strive for righteousness, faith, love, and peace, together with those who with a pure heart call out to the Lord for help” (GNT) Paul wanted Timothy to understand it’s difficult to grow on your own. You need other like minded people who are headed in the same direction to help you get there. Proverbs 27:17 tells us that as iron sharpens iron, one person sharpens another. You need people around you who will make you sharp.

When coaching or counseling people, I let them know that they need someone ahead of them that they can follow. They need someone beside them that can challenge them. They also need someone behind them that they can help get to the next level. Finding the right relationships is one of the most difficult tasks in life. That’s why it’s preached to you since you were young. It’s never to late to make the changes you need to make. If you’re ready to soar with eagles, spread your wings and leave the turkeys behind.

Photo by Frank Cone from Pexels

Throwback Thursday is a feature I’m using to help build some margin into my schedule to pursue other ventures. Each Thursday I’ll be bringing you a previously written devotional that still speaks encouragement to us from God’s Word.

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May 25, 2020 · 5:55 AM

Your Innermost Circle

When I was a kid, I began to hear my parents tell me, “You become like those you run with. Choose wisely.” Those were wise words to a child, but they’re also wise words to you as an adult. We like to think that people don’t change us, but the truth of the matter is that each of us are being sharpened and shaped by the people closest to us. They’re the ones whom we let down our facade the most with to show who we really are. Because of that vulnerability, they become the people who shape our decisions, our interests and even direction of our life. Your innermost circle of friends even determine the level of success you’ll have in life. You can’t soar with eagles if you’re scratching around with turkeys all the time.

The Bible has a lot to say about friendships. It gives examples of people like David and Jonathon who were willing to sacrifice everything for each other. There’s also Paul and Timothy whose friendship was one where Paul was a mentor as he shaped this young pastor. However, Job had some friends that gave him bad advice and weren’t able to endure the suffering with their friend. They used their influence in his life to try to misrepresent God and affect his relationship with Him. The people we let in our innermost circle of friends shape even our relationship with God, so it’s eternally important to choose wisely.

In Psalm 101:6 David says, “My innermost circle will only be those whom I know are pure and godly. They will be the only ones I allow to minister to me” (TPT). He understood the importance of that group on his relationship with God and wanted to protect it most. Who are you allowing to minister to you and to shape your relationship with God? Are they pushing you closer to Him or are they misrepresenting God to you? If they’re not making you sharper, challenging you to grow more or improving your relationship with God, they’re holding you back. David was selective about who he let into that group, and we should be too. God is calling us to greater maturity, faith and relationship with Him. Are the people closest to you influencing you in that direction?

Thanks to @lyrawhite for making this photo available freely on @unsplash

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June 8, 2016 · 5:00 AM

A Dull Ax


I’ve only been burned out a couple of times in my life. The times that I’ve experienced that have come after I’ve done too much for too long by myself. I’m not the type of person who likes to ask for help. My mentality has always been, “If it’s going to be done right, I might as well do it myself.” I get tired of waiting for other people to see the need and pick up the slack, so I jump in and do it. I don’t ask for help because I think people should know help is needed and offer theirs.

Maybe you can relate with that line of thinking. You’ve probably burned yourself out a time or two as well. It could be pride, or it could be stubbornness that keeps us from asking for help. Whatever it is, it costs us too much in the long run. After doing so much, we become like a dull ax. We work harder and harder, but don’t get some as much as we used to when we were sharp. We wear ourselves out exerting too much effort on our own.

Ecclesiastes 10:10 says, “Using a dull ax requires great strength, so sharpen the blade. That’s the value of wisdom; it helps you succeed” (NLT). We need to resharpen ourselves from time to time so we can continue to be effective at what we are called to do. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” If you’re feeling like a dull as blade, you need to be sharpened. To do that, you need a friend capable of keeping you sharp.

In order to succeed at anything God calls us to, we can’t do it by ourselves. We are laborers together. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from others. Many times people are wanting to be asked instead of feeling like they’re intruding on your work. When we share the load, we halve the burden. When we halve the burden, we stay sharp longer. If you’re getting dull, reach out to someone today and ask them to work with you. You’ll be a lot more successful and stronger.

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April 19, 2016 · 5:30 AM

God’s Secret To Happiness

  Since I was a kid, I heard people tell me, “You become like those you run with.” It was great advice then and now for choosing who you hang out with and listen to. We’ve all received bad advice from someone in our life that has put us in a situation we didn’t want to be in. Some of us have a momentary awkwardness and others have a lifetime of regret because of the consequences of that choice. Either way, we got into the mess by taking advice from someone we shouldn’t have been hanging around.

Psalm 1 is one of my life chapters. What I mean by that is that I see it as a promise from God so I’ve tried to build my life on it. The chapter starts out by telling us, “Happy are those who reject the advice of evil people, who do not follow the example of sinners or join those who have no use for God” (GNT). If you want to be happy, stop taking advice from people who don’t know the principles found in God’s Word. Find better people to hang out with if you want your life to change.

If you’ve followed this site for a while, you know the struggles I went through years ago. When I hit rock bottom, I worked my way backwards to find out how I got there. It all started with choices to hang out with and associate myself with people who had no use for God and what I believed. When I looked at my life, I realized I wasn’t happy. God took me back to this chapter and called me back to being who He called me to be in verse 2. It says, “Instead, they find joy in obeying the Law of the Lord, and they study it day and night.”

If we will get away from the wrong crowd and start living the way God’s Word tells us to, we’ll not only find happiness, but joy. But God doesn’t stop there. He gives us another promise in verse three if we live that way. It says, “They are like trees that grow beside a stream, that bear fruit at the right time, and whose leaves do not dry up. They succeed in everything they do.” God promises productivity, success, favor, and happiness in our life if we will just live the way He wants us to and associate ourselves with like minded people.

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December 14, 2015 · 6:47 AM

Faithful Friends

When life gets hard, you find out who your true friends are. Hard times have a way of weeding out acquaintances and fair weather friends. There are those who will stand by your side through the darkest night and those who will abandon you the moment bad things start coming your way. It’s hard to tell them apart until your faced with adversity. Proverbs 18:24 says, “Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers” (GNB).

As you read that, I’m sure names are popping in your head. You can think of those who abandoned you, but you can also think of those who have stood by your side. It’s easy to get mad at those who have fallen by the wayside, but the truth is, you don’t have to be mad at them. You don’t need those kinds of relationships in your life. Let them go and wish them well. Don’t hold grudges against them because it may mess up your lifelong relationships.

We like to think of the parable of the Prodigal Son as a story about returning to God, but I believe it’s also about friendships. When he had his inheritance and was living recklessly, I’m sure he had a lot of friends. When his money ran out and the famine hit, where were those friends? No one offered him shelter. No one offered him money. No one offered him food. He realized that the friendships he developed were poor ones and he thought of home. He realized he hadn’t been a good friend to them.

He learned that friendships and relationships are a two way street. Relationships that are one way, don’t last. He went back to the relationships that mattered and they accepted him back. While hard times can take away friendships that are one way, they can also drive us back to the ones that matter. If you haven’t been the type of person who was loyal to others, ask for their forgiveness and try to work things out. If you’ve found a friend that is more loyal than a brother, reach out to them today and thank them for being in your life. 

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