Tag Archives: growth

September 13, 2017 · 5:00 AM

Relationship Goals 


When I was a teen, someone told me, “You become like those you run with.” When I was a young adult, someone told me, “You show me who your friends are, and I’ll show you who you are.” Then several years later, someone told me, “If you want to soar with eagles, you can’t be scratching around in the dirt with turkeys.” All these reminders have been about the importance of choosing who you choose to hang out with. Either the group you’re with will hold you back or help you get to that next level.

As I’ve lived my life, I can honestly say that these messages are true. Close relationships are the greatest influencers of your success or failure. If you’re constantly failing and are stuck in a bad place, you need to walk away from the relationships that are holding you back. Your life will not change until you change your relationships. If you want your life to improve, associate with people who are ahead of you and are moving in the right direction. This works for spiritual and economic growth.

As Paul was grooming Timothy to be a leader, he gave him the same advice. 2 Timothy 2:22 says, “Strive for righteousness, faith, love, and peace, together with those who with a pure heart call out to the Lord for help” (GNT) Paul wanted Timothy to understand it’s difficult to grow on your own. You need other like minded people who are headed in the same direction to help you get there. Proverbs 27:17 tells us that as iron sharpens iron, one person sharpens another. You need people around you who will make you sharp. 

When coaching or counseling people, I let them know that they need someone ahead of them that they can follow. They need someone beside them that can challenge them. They also need someone behind them that they can help get to the next level. Finding the right relationships is one of the most difficult tasks in life. That’s why it’s preached to you since you were young. It’s never to late to make the changes you need to make. If you’re ready to soar with eagles, spread your wings and leave the turkeys behind. 

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July 13, 2016 · 6:05 AM

Go Farther


Recently I took my family to the beach for a weekend getaway. I was scared to let my five-year-year old son go into the ocean. He and I sat right where the waves washed up on the shore. It was fun for a while, but then my son said, “I want to go out there,” as he pointed into the ocean. I didn’t want to take him out there because I was scared of the unknown. How deep was it? Were there drop offs? What would happen if we got pulled out by the current?

After holding him off for a while, I finally consented to his relentless desire to leave the shore. I waded out to where the water was halfway up my calf, but he said, “Go farther!” I then went out to where it was just above my knees. We let the waves crash against us, but he insisted, “Go farther!” I finally went out to waist-deep water, but I refused to go farther against his wishes. I was scared that if the water got any deeper, I would no longer be in control of the situation.

As we were out there, I couldn’t help but think how if God were an ocean, the Holy Spirit would be calling me to go farther into Him. Like me, many of us are afraid to go deeper than our ability to have control. We are afraid to explore the depths of who God is beyond our understanding, so we sit on the shore just wetting our feet or wade in waist-deep. We ignore the Spirit’s calling to go farther because what we discover about who God is may not fit into our boxes that we have placed Him in.

According to NOAA.gov, we have explored less than 5% of the oceans on earth. I wonder if that’s how much we have explored the depths of God. In I Corinthians 2:10-11, Paul wrote, “The Spirit, not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along. Who ever knows what you’re thinking and planning except you yourself? The same with God” (MSG). If we want to explore the depths of God, we need to be led by His Spirit who knows Him intimately.

The most powerful, yet most underutilized gift God has given to each of us as believers is His Spirit. If we as Christians won’t explore the depths of God, how will we lead others to explore Him? You can only lead others as far as you have gone. We must be willing to hear the Spirit say, “Go farther,” and then to let Him lead us there if we are going to experience the growth God is looking to get out of us. We have to set aside our fear, relinquish our control, and let the Holy Spirit sweep us away into the unknown depths of God.

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August 12, 2015 · 7:12 AM

Show Your Progress (Video)

Give your complete attention to these matters. Throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress.
I Timothy 4:15 (NLT)

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August 20, 2014 · 7:13 AM

Spiritual Improvement

We’ve been doing some home improvement projects lately. Some are small and some are large. In either case, I’ve found that it costs money, time and effort. In some cases it requires the help of others to get the job done right. I look at what it takes to do the improvements sometimes and I try to convince my wife that everything is fine. She looks at them and wants to make them better. I’m learning that we will never be done improving and changing things because as time goes on, we have to keep updating to keep it from falling apart.

Our spiritual life is very similar. We must constantly be working on improving it. There is always room for improvement and growth. None of us are where we want to stay, but many of us don’t want to do the things necessary to improve. We make excuses as to why we can’t find time to go to church, read the Bible or pray. We know we need to, but we lack the drive to make those things happen. In doing nothing, we run the risk of falling apart. I’ve heard it said that a Bible that’s falling apart typically belongs to someone whose life isn’t.

Spiritual growth will cost you. It’s not cheap to improve. You’re going to have to invest in books and seminars. You’re going to have to get up earlier. Stay up later. You’re going to have to do things differently than you’ve always done them. If you want a different result in your spiritual life than you’ve been getting, you’re going to have to do things you’ve never done. You’re going to have to force yourself to get up early to pray and read the Bible. You’re going to have to turn off your phone in order to give God 100% of your attention. Growth always costs something. It just depends on how much your willing to improve.

Next, it requires time. Each of us only get 24 hours in a day, 1,440 minutes or 86,400 seconds in a day depending on how you look at it. How you invest your time says a lot about what’s important to you and also determines your future. How much time do you spend playing games, watching TV, following the lives of others, reading the Bible, praying, spending time with family and friends or surfing the internet? Just like anything else in life, where you invest (sow) your time determines what your return will be (reap). If you want a deeper, more meaningful time with God, invest more time in the relationship.

Growth will also require the help of others. You do not have to walk this road alone. There are others around you who have the skills you need for improving your spiritual life. They know the scriptures that will point you in the right direction. They know how to overcome the situation you’re facing because they’ve been there. It takes you being humble enough to say, “I’m struggling with this and I can’t do it. Can you help?” For some of us, that’s easy. For others, that’s the hardest thing in the world to do and accept. If we are going to grow, we are going to need the help of others.

Where do you fall in all of this? Are you content with where you are? Do you feel like you need to grow or improve, but aren’t willing to put in the work? Maybe you want to, but just aren’t sure where to start or who to ask. Start with getting up an hour earlier each day just to spend time with God. Look around at the people God has placed in your life. Who is it that is further along than you? Ask them to help hold you accountable as well as to help you grow. Ask them what works for them. Growth and improvement isn’t easy or cheap, but the rewards are incredible. Ask God for direction and He will show you.

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April 21, 2014 · 8:00 AM

Finding Good Soil

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My family and I took a road trip to west Texas. If you aren’t from Texas, that’s the part of Texas that actually looks like you imagine it. It’s how Hollywood portrays us. It’s very dry, the ground is covered with small shrubs that will one day be tumble weeds, oiled pumps dot the landscape and there are mesas that are perfectly flat on top. It’s beautiful in its own way, but as my wife out it, there’s nothing out there. She said on more than one occasion, “I don’t think I could live out here.” Even if we couldn’t, people do live there even though it’s far away from “civilization”.

We drove hundreds of miles over many hours as we headed back to east Texas. The further east we went, the taller the shrubs became, the more green the landscape became and the more abundant flowers became. As I watched the transformation, I began to wonder what made the difference. I saw a small tree growing out of a crack in a rock hill that gave me the answer. Soil. In west Texas, it was very dry. There was lots of dirt, but very little soil. Their land lacked the nutrients to grow tall trees, greenery or flowers. There was life there, but it’s growth was stunted by a lack of soil.

I then began to think, that’s where so many Christians live their lives. They choose to be planted where there is very little soil. Their growth is stunted, there’s very little water and it’s tough to live there. They struggle in their relationship with God, they get very little food from Heaven and they produce even less. They wonder why they don’t see growth like so many others. They wonder why their lives are dry and they don’t produce much fruit. They look at other believers and wish their life had that kind of growth. The answer to all that wondering is the soil they are planted in.

Psalm 1:3 says we are to be like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. We each choose where we want to be planted. The soil we ground ourself in is in direct proportion to the amount of Scripture we read and time in prayer. When we spend very little time with either, we lack the nutrients necessary for growth. We began to whither away when things get tough. We dry up when things in our lives hear up. We begin to die of thirst without the water of God’s Word. We wilt away because our roots are in shallow soil.

As with anything in life, you get out of it what you put into it. If you put very little effort into your growth as a Christian,you will remain in a dry land struggling to produce and to stay alive. If you put in time and effort into the things that will benefit your walk with God, you will begin the slow process of moving towards Him. You will start to grow taller, your roots will grow deeper and your leaves will be greener. Before long, you will be like that tree planted by the riverbank producing much fruit in season. It all depends on where you choose to live. Your salvation isn’t dependent on what you do, but your growth is.

As you have therefore received Christ, [even] Jesus the Lord, [so] walk (regulate your lives and conduct yourselves) in union with and conformity to Him. Have the roots [of your being] firmly and deeply planted [in Him, fixed and founded in Him], being continually built up in Him, becoming increasingly more confirmed and established in the faith, just as you were taught, and abounding and overflowing in it with thanksgiving. (Colossians 2:6, 7 AMP)

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August 19, 2013 · 7:32 AM

An Outside Set of Eyes

What do Phil Mickelson, LeBron James, Andy Murray and Michael Phelps have in common besides being amazing athletes? They all have coaches. They have someone who has an outside set of eyes to help them correct errors, tweak their movements and to provide encouragement to continue when things aren’t going as planned. Each athlete you can think of has a coach who helps them to be the best they can be.

This weekend, our church brought in an extra set of eyes to see what many of us on the inside can’t see. They looked at our processes, our friendliness, our reputation in the community and much more to help us be better. Having another person see you for who you really are versus who you see yourself to be can be difficult and scary. It’s a necessary step for growth though. You don’t get better unless you have someone who you trust to come and say, “Here’s what I see and here are the changes you should make.”

Each of us as Christians are called to be salt and light in our sphere of influence. Jesus asked, “If the salt has lost its flavor, what good is it?” What if each of us found someone to meet with on a regular basis to help our flavor get better? What if we opened ourselves up to that different set of eyes and heard the truth about the light we cast? It would hurt some, but it would also provide growth.

None of us have the Christian life down perfectly. We all struggle to walk in faith and in complete obedience. We are all successful in certain areas of our daily walk with Christ and we all have areas that could use improvement. We can only look in the mirror and see so much. It’s when we allow ourselves to be exposed that we truly find growth and accountability. I speak to people all the time in the business world about finding someone to help you succeed. Why don’t we do that in something that has eternal consequences?

There will always be someone who is better at certain aspects of the Christian life. Ask them to meet with you on a regular basis to challenge you and to help you grow. There is always someone who is coming up behind you who could benefit from knowing what you’ve learned. Reach out to them and ask if they’d like to meet regularly. Each of you will benefit from the relationship. Each of you will increase your flavor and ability to shine your lights.

Who are you thinking of right now that could help you to be accountable or could help you grow? Let me encourage you today to reach out to them and ask to start meeting with them to discuss your walk with God. It could be over breakfast once a week, a round of golf every other week, a cup of coffee at a local coffee house once a month or wherever and whenever that meets your schedules. It’s important to find someone you trust with your growth and who can provide input that you respect. Set that appointment up today. You won’t regret it.

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July 12, 2013 · 7:45 AM

Supplementing Your Faith

Friday mornings at hotels are always interesting. People are up early, packed and ready to go home. The breakfast room is usually full. The travelers are in good spirits because they know they’re going home. Keys are dropped off, bills are paid and bags are in hand as they walk to their cars. There’s a certain sense of excitement. The week is nearly done. Your work is almost finished and you know you’re going to rest soon.

In II Peter 1, Peter said that God had revealed to him that he would die soon. He started to get ready to go home. Before he left, he wanted to give the church some final instructions that they would remember after he was gone. What was important to him as final instructions should be important to us as believers. We should look closely at what he wanted us to get.

In verse 5-7, he tells us to supplement our faith with things like good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness and generous love. He said with these active and growing in our lives, we would mature in our experience with Jesus. He also said without them we wouldn’t be able to see what’s right in front of us spiritually. These were and are important things that we as Christians should have active in our lives.

Passionate patience stands out to me in that group. All of us want patience, but none of us want to pay to get it. I know that patience is also a fruit of the spirit according to Galatians. It’s something that God wants each of us to have in our lives. It takes time to develop and to mature into who God wants us to be. It doesn’t happen over night. We go through things, make mistakes, pick ourselves up and try again. Our patience is developed by going through things that try us.

Another thing that stands out to me is generous love. In today’s world, we are known more for what we are for or against than for our love. We let disagreements on what is right and wrong divide us from those we are called to love. I Corinthians 13 teaches what love is. We typically apply this to marriage or relationships. What if we applied those things to the ones we are called to love? Love is patient. Love is kind. It is not boastful, proud or rude.

I Peter was onto something here. All those things we supplement our faith with start and end with love. When we learn to love our neighbors like ourselves, we’ll begin to see the lost saved. When we care more about their soul than if they’re right or wrong, our light will shine. When we have patience with others the way we want others to have patience with us, we will see a harvest.

Which of these supplements do you already posses? Which ones do you need to develop? As Christians we should never stop growing or developing. Peter was encouraging us to not be satisfied with where our faith is. He was saying that we can add to it to achieve the growth that God desires in us. Just like body builder uses supplements to lean down and build muscle mass, we too should be supplementing our faith so that we will grow our faith.

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December 28, 2012 · 9:06 AM

Surviving Your Season

Many people are ready for the new year. It’s not because of anything other than this year was so hard for them. Next year represents a fresh start. It’s an end to a year of hardships, challenges and troubles. It’s an escape from what has been and a bridge to what will be. I’m thankful for new chapters in my life. I know there have been times when I’ve needed some to close and others that were over too quickly.

I read two scriptures today that will help you if you are ready for a new beginning. The first one is Ecclesiastes 3:1. It says, “To EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven. (AMP)” Each of us go through seasons of change, seasons of pain and seasons of hurt. It’s part of life. Some of us seem to get more of these seasons than others. Some of us have longer seasons than others. Whatever your case is, I believe there is a purpose to it.

It’s hard to see the purpose of it when you’re in that season. Your mind and prayers are full of questions that start with “why”. I have rarely been given that answer during the seasons of hard times. It’s when I looked back and reflected on those seasons after they ended that I was given the answers to those questions. Some still remain unanswered to this day. The further away from them I get, the greater my perspective becomes of them.

Just as that scripture says, it is a season and only for a time. I used to say my favorite scripture was “this too shall pass.” With my perspective, I now see that those seasons were my greatest times of growth. I was being pruned like a tree in spring so I could bloom more than ever. Did it hurt? Yes. It still does when I think of those times. Could I have gotten to where I am without those times? No.

In those times it’s hard to look forward. It’s hard to know what’s ahead. You struggle to make it through the day. You look for God and don’t see Him, but He’s there. This is where the second scripture I read today comes in. In Habakkuk 3:19 it says, “The Lord God is my strength, my personal bravery and my invincible army… He will make me to walk (not stand still in terror, but to walk) and make spiritual progress upon my high places (of trouble, suffering or responsibility)!” When you don’t have strength, bravery or the will to fight to move forward, He becomes those things for you!

I know what it’s like to not want to do anything. To not want to get out of bed and face the day. To be so embarrassed about where your life is that you don’t want to see anyone. You can’t stay there though. That verse just said He will make you to walk and to make progress! That’s His promise to you. You don’t have to stand still in terror as to what has happened this year in your life. You can make progress in His strength. In time, you will look back at this year and see it was for your good, for your growth and to take you where you couldn’t have gone otherwise.

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June 15, 2012 · 8:01 AM

Life in the valley

Are you in a valley right now? Life is full of peaks and valleys. We love to be on the mountain top, but why not the valley? There are lessons to be learned in the valleys. There is fertile soil there to help you grow. We fight the valley and try to get out before we learn why we are there. It is a time to gain the strength and wisdom needed to climb the next mountain.

I’ve had my share of valleys and mountain top experiences. Here are some things I’ve learned in the valley.

1. Growth happens there

You weren’t meant to stay in the valley, but you were meant to learn there. God has always used the valleys of my life to grow me. Some of the greatest crops in the world today are grown in valleys, not on the tops of mountains. If you find yourself in a valley, quit struggling to get out and spend time figuring out how you are to grow from it. There are things taught in the valley that you can’t learn anywhere else.

Spend your time in the valley wisely. You can choose to be upset and think that you are being punished or you can be happy and know that you are being strengthened. God knows what is ahead in your life and gives us seasons in the valley to give us strength to endure what’s ahead. If you leave the valley too soon, you may not have the strength to do what He called you to do in the future.

2. Reconciliation happens there

God will use valleys sometimes to bring reconciliation with Him. Jonah found repentance in the belly of the whale. When David was in the valley he cried out for God to create a new heart in him and to renew a right spirit within him. He knew that even though he was in the valley, God still heard him.

It’s easy to be short sighted in the valley because our view is blocked. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t look for God while we are there. He uses the valley at times to purify us and to remind us of who he is. We are reminded that He is God and we are His people.

3. God speaks there

In the darkest times of my life is where I heard God the most. It’s hard to hear Him in the valley though. We become preoccupied with trying to climb out or asking why we are there. We rarely listen though. God wants to use this time to speak to you and to let you know Him. Don’t push Him away.

The tendency is to blame God for being in the valley rather than to listen to Him. He can use this time to help you hear Him better and to draw you closer to Him. Don’t fight Him in the valley. Submit to His will and listen to what He says. You will find that when you are at your lowest, He is at His closest.

What can you learn from your valley? Is God trying to grow you, reconcile you or speak to you? Take time today to stop fighting with Him and questioning Him. Stop and listen to what He has for you in the valley. It won’t last forever and what you learn from it will shape your future.

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