Tag Archives: hard times

December 9, 2013 · 7:48 AM

From Bitter To Blessed

Each of us have things go wrong in life. Each of us have those periods where it seems nothing can go right. It can get to the point of ridiculousness that all you can do is laugh at how bad things have gotten. There’s also that temptation to just give up because no matter what you do, you fail. In those periods of life our response matters. They can create good things in you like perseverance, patience, endurance, strength or they can bring out the worst like selfishness, resentfulness, anger or bitterness. Our reaction is our choice.

In the book of Ruth, we see the story of Naomi who was Ruth’s mother in law. She had been going through a rough time. Due to circumstances, she had to move her family away from their home. Some time after they arrived in their new country, her husband died and left her to raise two boys. They grew up and married. After ten years of marriage, neither of her sons were able to produce an heir and both of them died. She was left with two daughters in law to care for and no means to do it. She decided to return to her homeland, but knew there wasn’t enough to sustain all of them. She encouraged her daughters in law to stay behind in their land and to remarry. One stayed and one clung to her side and wouldn’t leave.

When they arrived back in her hometown, the people were excited to see her. They asked, “Is that really you, Naomi?” Her response was, “Don’t call me Naomi; call me Bitter… I left here full of life, and God has brought me back with nothing but the clothes on my back. Why would you call me Naomi? God certainly doesn’t.” She allowed her circumstances to make her bitter. She was so bitter that she asked them to call her Bitter as her name. She felt like God had abandoned her and that He didn’t even know her name. She felt alone and hurt. I wonder what would have happened to her if Ruth hadn’t made the trip back with her.

The good news is that Ruth saw the bitterness and struggles in her mother in law and refused to leave her. She became a support person for her. It wasn’t long after they arrived back in Naomi’s hometown that Ruth met Boaz. After they were married, God gave them a son. Chapter 4:14 of Ruth says, “The town women said to Naomi, ‘Blessed be God! He didn’t leave you without family to carry on your life.” Naomi loved that baby so much that the neighborhood women started calling him “Naomi’s boy”. His real name was Obed. He would become the grandfather of King David and also part of the lineage of Jesus.

Whatever your circumstances are today, you have a choice to make. Will people call you “Bitter” or will they call you “Blessed”? While Naomi went through a time of bitterness, ultimately everything had to happen that way so that a line of future kings could be born and ultimately our savior. I don’t know what difficulties you’re facing in the present, but I know that God can use them to create an amazing future. Difficult times and periods of life are not without purpose. God has a plan for you and the future of your family. This rough patch is simply getting you into position to change you from bitter to blessed.

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December 2, 2013 · 8:04 AM

Sucker Punched

How do you keep going when you can’t see the future because your present is so dark? How do you begin to pick up the pieces of a broken life when you’re hurting inside? How do you keep praying when it feels like God has left you alone and unprotected? How do you keep from being angry and bitter when everything you had has been taken from you in a moment? As a person who has struggled with these questions, I have people ask me them all the time. I don’t have all the answers to them. I can only tell you how I did it.

When life sucker punches you, it’s hard to get back up knowing you’ll be sucker punched again and again. The easy thing to do is to give up. The hard thing to do is to open your eyes each day, get up and face life. I had the support of family and friends who constantly picked me up and helped me keep going. If you are struggling right now, don’t push away those whom God has put in your life to help. No, they really don’t understand what you’re going through, but they don’t have to in order to hold you up.

When it’s time and you have the strength, you’ll have to stop trying to hold it all together and start to rebuild. It’s no fun having to start over when you’ve already started and built a life. The good news is you’ll make fewer mistakes this time around and you can build the kind of life you really want. My idea of what life should be was a lot different at 30 than it was at 20. It will still take time, but you can avoid several of the pitfalls you made when you were younger. Pick up the pieces of your life that you want to keep. Leave the ones you don’t behind. Rebuild with good material on a solid foundation.

Even though it feels like God has abandoned you and none of your prayers are being answered, let alone heard, stay in the habit of praying. You can be honest with God about your pain, your struggles and fears. You’ll probably never pray more honest prayers than when you’ve been knocked down. God hears every prayer and sees what’s going on in your life. He has not abandoned you. He has not forgotten you or left you to fend for yourself. He is your strong tower and place of refuge. Run to Him. Hide in Him. He will bring peace in the midst of your chaos.

I prayed two scriptures to help me get through my struggles. I prayed Nehemiah 8:10, “For the joy of The Lord is your (my) strength.” I prayed, “Lord, give me your joy that isn’t dependent on circumstances so that I can have strength to walk through this.” I also prayed Hebrews 12:15, “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you.” I prayed, “Lord, I know I have every right to be bitter, but please don’t let any of it take root. I don’t want this to affect my future relationships.” I repeated those constantly even when it felt like they were just words and not prayers. I believe God answered them.

If you are in a place today where these questions haunt you and life has sucker punched you, don’t give up. You don’t have to be strong and put on a brave face for everyone. It’s in our weakness that God’s grace is made perfect. He has given you all the grace you will need to survive this. He has placed people in your life to help pull you through. He is walking by your side even when you can’t see Him. It will take time to recover, to rebuild and to heal. Don’t try to speed up the process. Trust God’s plan and timing. You will make it through this.

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September 23, 2013 · 7:30 AM

Stuck In The Waiting

I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you
Which shall be the darkness of God.…
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.

-T. S. Eliot, “East Coker”

I read these words in Philip Yancey’s book “Disappointment with God”. I was going through a brutal spell in my life. If you’ve read the book, maybe it helped. But it didn’t help me. In fact it just made me feel worse for all the people referenced in the book as well as for myself.
Why do bad things happen to generally decent people? I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I’ll ever understand this side of heaven. It might be better if I stopped asking. But there are few things that haven’t escaped me. Maybe they were rungs on the ladder that kept me hitting rock bottom. Here they are:

I’m not in control. Even if I was, I don’t know what’s best for me.

It’s true – and actually this struck me when things were going well. What do you do when the things that happened by “chance” turned out better than your carefully laid plans? This had been the case a couple different times and while I was overwhelmed with gratitude, it eerily bothered me. When my tides turned, I realized that it goes both ways. In the end, I’m not God. I don’t know what’s best for me, I can’t see the big picture of God’s plan for me and I can’t control all the outcomes in my life. Living by faith means accepting both the good and the bad and realizing both are temporal. Accepting the fact that life isn’t fair helps too.

Take responsibility. Don’t sabotage myself.

If you’ve ever wondered if your life could get any worse, let me clear that up for you real quick. The answer is always yes. That may sound like a morbid thing to say, but the truth is that we’re always one decision away from making things much worse. And when things aren’t going well, we’re in the DANGER ZONE. Think about it: if you’re stuck in a crummy job, you are only one decision away from not having a job at all. If your marriage is going poorly, you are only one decision or one conversation away from a further setback. If you aren’t married and wish you were, you are one or several decisions away from creating a lot more misery for yourself and others.

It’s tempting to say that “God wills” my circumstances to be what they are and then act like a victim. But actually we’re usually our own worst enemy. Proverbs 19:3 says, “People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord” (NLT). When the chips are down, the temptation is even stronger to make foolish choices that add to our pain. We can’t always control our circumstances, but in every situation, we always have a choice of how to respond. And that means we have the responsibility to make a good choice, no matter how good or bad circumstances are.

Realize my pain will be able to be used in a positive way in the future.

If someone had said this to me when I was down, it would’ve brought me up real fast… swinging. That’s not what I wanted to hear. But unfortunately, not “just anyone” said these words. They came from Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, recounting his experiences as a Jewish prisoner in Auschwitz. They were also shared by psychologists to the survivors of the PanAm Flight 73 hijacking in 1986 as they prepared to board their next flight.
Those folks have “cred” in my book. I may not like the message, but I can take it coming from them. When I’m hurting, the last thing I want is “some perspective,” but even so, they’ve had far worse than me.

If you’re in pain, there is a sense in which you’re alone. Proverbs 14:10 says, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy” (NLT). No one else can walk your path for you and you may not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I couldn’t. When we’re stuck “in the waiting,” as Eliot’s poem says, we likely won’t be able to see the redemption in our circumstances. It’s only by faith that we can believe that this too shall pass.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach and thought leader. Visit him today at NathanMagnuson.com or follow him on Twitter.

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December 28, 2012 · 9:06 AM

Surviving Your Season

Many people are ready for the new year. It’s not because of anything other than this year was so hard for them. Next year represents a fresh start. It’s an end to a year of hardships, challenges and troubles. It’s an escape from what has been and a bridge to what will be. I’m thankful for new chapters in my life. I know there have been times when I’ve needed some to close and others that were over too quickly.

I read two scriptures today that will help you if you are ready for a new beginning. The first one is Ecclesiastes 3:1. It says, “To EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven. (AMP)” Each of us go through seasons of change, seasons of pain and seasons of hurt. It’s part of life. Some of us seem to get more of these seasons than others. Some of us have longer seasons than others. Whatever your case is, I believe there is a purpose to it.

It’s hard to see the purpose of it when you’re in that season. Your mind and prayers are full of questions that start with “why”. I have rarely been given that answer during the seasons of hard times. It’s when I looked back and reflected on those seasons after they ended that I was given the answers to those questions. Some still remain unanswered to this day. The further away from them I get, the greater my perspective becomes of them.

Just as that scripture says, it is a season and only for a time. I used to say my favorite scripture was “this too shall pass.” With my perspective, I now see that those seasons were my greatest times of growth. I was being pruned like a tree in spring so I could bloom more than ever. Did it hurt? Yes. It still does when I think of those times. Could I have gotten to where I am without those times? No.

In those times it’s hard to look forward. It’s hard to know what’s ahead. You struggle to make it through the day. You look for God and don’t see Him, but He’s there. This is where the second scripture I read today comes in. In Habakkuk 3:19 it says, “The Lord God is my strength, my personal bravery and my invincible army… He will make me to walk (not stand still in terror, but to walk) and make spiritual progress upon my high places (of trouble, suffering or responsibility)!” When you don’t have strength, bravery or the will to fight to move forward, He becomes those things for you!

I know what it’s like to not want to do anything. To not want to get out of bed and face the day. To be so embarrassed about where your life is that you don’t want to see anyone. You can’t stay there though. That verse just said He will make you to walk and to make progress! That’s His promise to you. You don’t have to stand still in terror as to what has happened this year in your life. You can make progress in His strength. In time, you will look back at this year and see it was for your good, for your growth and to take you where you couldn’t have gone otherwise.

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July 26, 2012 · 3:31 PM

God is working for your good

When you are going through a difficult time in your life, it’s easy to wonder where God is. It’s hard to see Him when you are in the middle of your pain and suffering. Grief and depression have a way of blinding us to the help that is around us. When you can’t see God in your storm, you feel isolated and alone.

Each of us go through difficult times in our lives. It’s in those times when we forget that others have walked down that same road. We tell ourselves that no one else knows the pain we feel. We separate ourselves from others and begin to think that no one cares. Just because you feel alone, it doesn’t mean you are. In Luke 11:11-17, a widow lost her only son and was grief stricken. She felt the same way.

Here are three things Jesus does for us in difficult times.

1. Jesus sees our affliction

In the time of her son’s death, she could not see Jesus. He knew that her son had died and purposefully arrived at her town as the funeral procession was headed out of the town. Verse 13 says that when He saw her, His heart over flowed with compassion for her. It was clear that He was struck by her grief.

In the midst of our struggles and pain, Jesus sees us whether we see Him or not. His heart is broken for you and will come to show Himself to you at just the right time. You are not alone. He is there with you in the middle of your pain. I know personally that it is hard to see Him in that place. Reach out to Him. You will find He is right there.

2. Jesus comforts us

After meeting her in her despair, Jesus tried to comfort and console her. It broke his heart to see her crying. He reached out to her in his compassion and told her not to cry. We do not serve a God who is not empathetic to our needs. He understands loss, friends turning on you, being betrayed and so much more that we go through.

You may think that God doesn’t care about you, but He really does. His heart breaks when ours does. Jesus sent us the Holy Spirit to be our comforter. He knew that we would need comfort in our times of distress here in this world. He never promised that we wouldn’t go through difficult times. He promised us a comforter for difficult times.

3. Jesus works for us

For this widow, Jesus raised her son back to life. I’m not sure why some people are healed or raised from the dead and others aren’t. I believe that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. What He did back then, He will still do today. We often don’t see Him move that way because we treat Him like a convenience instead of a necessity.

Even if you don’t receive the miracle you were praying for, it doesn’t mean that He was not working for you. There are things beyond what we can physically see or comprehend. God works on our behalf. He knows our future and may have us go through something now to prepare us for something later. We often ask God to remove trials or problems, but He may be working for you to prepare you for your future.

When times are tough and you can’t see God, it doesn’t mean He can’t see you. Hold on to your faith in the storm. He sees your affliction and has sent the Holy Spirit to comfort you in your time of need. God is always working on your behalf. Romans 8:28 says that all things work together for YOUR good. Hang in there.

Here is a prayer by my friend Michael Moak for you.

Dear Lord,
Today I proclaim your promise in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of Fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.”
For the reader of this blog, Lord, that is dealing with the fear of the unknown future in their life, I come to You on their behalf today. I ask that You would surround them with your gentle peace and fill their heart with your strength while they wade through the waters of uncharted territory. Give them the ability to see Your hope at the end of this long journey and increase Your blessing upon their family during this pivotal time of transition. I know that You do not place fear or uncertainty upon our hearts; however, as humans we find ourselves defaulting to those emotions and get our eyes off of the one true place where fear can not dwell… in YOU! So, today, Lord Jesus, remind my friend of the promises of Your word and inject them with the spiritual medicine to heal their broken and searching heart! I ask these things in Jesus name. Amen.

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