Have you ever said the first thing that came to your mind and then later regretted it? Once words leave our mouth, we can never get them back. I’ve had other times where I’ve thought long and hard about what to say and how to say it only to still have them take it the wrong way. It’s even worse with texts because there’s no tone. The reader can insert their own tone or put the emphasis on whichever word they want. As a communications trainer, I’ve shown people how changing what word you put the emphasis on can change the whole meaning of a sentence. I’ve learned though that you can control what and how you say something, but you can’t control how they receive it. Even knowing that, it’s still important to find the right words, the right tone and the right body language because how and what you say has the power to heal relationships and people as well.
In Joshua 22, we read the story of where the land was conquered and Joshua released the three tribes who wanted land east of the Jordan from their obligation. Before they crossed the Jordan, they built a large altar that was similar to what the other tribes used to worship God. When someone saw it, they spread word and got all the other tribes up in arms and they showed up to fight the three tribes. They assumed they knew what was in their hearts and assumed it was evil so they confronted them with an army threatening to destroy them. Thankfully they spoke to them first and they explained they were looking generations ahead and wanted to make sure future generations knew they were part of the family. It wasn’t to defy God or even to burn sacrifices on. It was simply a reminder. The other tribes listened to their words and were satisfied. They made a covenant there and allowed the altar to stand. It’s a reminder to us how things can be interpreted and how important our words can be.
Proverbs 12:18 says, “Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal” (GNT). Sometimes we say things purposely to hurt someone, but other times, it’s the thoughtless ones that really sting. You can probably think of a time you’ve been wounded by someone’s words. When you’re offended or are looking for offense, you tend to think that what someone else said was meant to hurt you. You add tone, emphasis and intent where it wasn’t intended. Did you know that Scripturally it’s your responsibility to go to them and let them know they’ve offended you privately (Matthew 18:15)? You can either use your words to tear them down back or bring healing to the relationship. I’ve seen this done Scripturally where someone came to me and said, “When you said this, I took it as that and it hurt me.” In those moments, I’ve thought back to the situation and most times they were thoughtless words that didn’t mean to harm, but they did. Choose your words wisely and choose to speak healing.
Photo by Luke Ellis-Craven on Unsplash
Devotions by Chris Hendrix 