October 28, 2013 · 7:54 AM

Opening Closed Curtains

When my first wife left me, I went into a deep depression. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I didn’t want to do anything. I just wanted to lay down and not have to worry about getting up. I was ready to quit everything: my business, my friendships, my obligations and my life. I couldn’t find the strength I needed to face each new day. I couldn’t stand to see the sun come up and remind me that another day had begun in this new life. I bought thick curtains so I could block the light from coming in.

Those curtains were very symbolic of what I was trying to do to everything else in my life. I wanted to block out everything good around me. Other’s happiness just made me more miserable. In fact, it made me bitter and angry. I didn’t want to see others who were happily married or in a fulfilling relationship. If I knew someone in my life like that, I closed the curtains on them. If someone was happy and bubbly, I shut the curtains on them. If someone tried to reach out to me to cheer me up, I slammed them shut on them.

Slowly I began to isolate myself from the positive things in my life. My world grew darker and darker. My brother took me to a doctor who put me on anti-depressants. The thought that I had to take a pill to cope with things made me upset. All they did to me were to numb the pain I was feeling. I felt like a zombie as I went through the motions of life. I still wanted the curtains shut and worked at pushing others away. Thank God I had friends and family who wouldn’t let me keep the curtains closed.

Every time I shut the curtains, they would open them. Every time I pushed away, they came closer. One friend would come to my house each morning at 9:30, knock on my door and tell me to get up because people needed me. Day after day she would knock on my door and throw the curtains of my life open. If I didn’t show up to work soon after that, she’d call and throw them open again. Soon I began to get up on my own. I began to find purpose in my life.

Just because the person who was supposed to love me through thick and thin, through sickness and health, through riches and poverty until death had rejected me it didn’t mean that others had. Because she didn’t need me in her life, it didn’t mean that others didn’t. As I began to slowly open the curtains and to allow light back into my life, I quit taking the medicine with my doctor’s approval. Each day, I opened the curtains a little more, even when I didn’t want to. I had to force myself to get back to the person I knew I could be. I had to quit pushing everyone away. It was a long, hard road, but one that was worth struggling down.

I wonder what part of this story speaks to you. Where are you today? Are you the one holed up in your world with the curtains closed trying to keep the light out? Are you the one who just wants to quit at everything and let the world pass you by? Have you found yourself letting the light in a little at a time? Are you a friend who has been pushed away by someone you love or care about? Or are you the friend who keeps knocking and opening the curtains for those who close them? I think we find ourselves in one of these places at some point.

If you are in a deep depression, seek help from your doctor, church, family and friends. It’s not weak to admit you need help. In fact, it’s one of the strongest things you can do. If you know someone struggling, don’t let them push you away. Keep knocking on their door. Don’t have thin skin. They need you more than you know. You can’t quit on them even if they’ve quit on you and everything else. Pray for them. Pray that you will have wisdom and favor when trying to reach them. Pray that God will show you how to open their curtains and let His light in.

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October 25, 2013 · 7:51 AM

Free Yourself From Fear

Today I’m starting something new on this site. I’m celebrating by giving away an autographed copy of Ted Dekker’s book “Outlaw” that released this week. I’ll tell, you more in a minute on how to win it. First, I want to share with you my idea. I’m going to be doing a series called “Free Friday’s” each week. Each of us have things in our life that hold us down. There are things that keep us from being all that God wants us to be. Hebrews 12:1 tells us to cast off those things that hold us so easily beset us. We need to free ourselves of them.

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Today, to start the series, I want to talk about fear. Each of us have fear in our lives. It rears its ugly head in different ways. There is the fear that presents it’s self in the form of panic. That fear paralyzes us in so many ways. I’ve had this kind of fear in my life and it kept me from getting a good night’s rest for many years. This fear is usually caused by an event in our past and it keeps us from a bright future. It took a lot of prayer and God speaking to me to relieve it. He assured me that He was with me and wouldn’t allow the harm that I feared to come against me.

Another fear that some of us face is the fear of failure. We are so afraid that we’ll fail at something that God asked us to do that we never start it. That fear works in conjunction with our pride. We’re more afraid that our reputation will be ruined than we are that God will be disappointed that we didn’t act on His request. We stay in a constant state of planning instead of acting. I did that with my writing for years. I was so afraid of failing that I never tried. I read something by Mark Batterson that said instead of “ready, set, go”, as Christians we are called to “go, set, ready.” Free yourself of that fear, do what God said to do and let Him work out the success of it.

A fear I’m currently dealing with, and many people I met last weekend, is the fear of success. What if I succeed? Am I ready for the changes? Am I ready to chop wood and draw water (Ted Dekker’s message to us) for the rest of my life? I get so afraid of success that I don’t even try. I allow that fear to determine my actions, my planning and my writing. I would love to be a success, but on the other hand, the fear of “what if…” creeps in and sabotages me. Today, I’m freeing myself of that fear and I’m going to let God do what He wants to do. I’m going to accept His idea of success and not what fear has painted in my mind.

What fear do you need to be free of today? It’s time to give it over to God. It’s time to be free. II Timothy 1:7 says, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” My prayer for you today is that you will release yourself from the prison that fear has held you captive in for so long. Whatever that fear is, God is greater. Put your pride aside. Put your doubts aside. Put your trust in the one who is greater in you. It’s Friday. What fear will you be free from today?

In order to win the autographed copy of Ted Dekker’s new book “Outlaw”, click here to go to my new Facebook page, like it and then share it with your friends. Anyone who does this by midnight Central Standard Time, today, October 25, 2013, will be entered to win. I will draw a name at random tomorrow and will announce the winner. I will ship you the book via US Postal Service. Thanks for your support and I look forward to finding something to be free from each Friday.

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October 24, 2013 · 7:46 AM

Lose The Label

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I’m working out of town this week so I thought it would be fun to watch the World Series in a group environment. I left my hotel and went to Buffalo Wild Wings knowing they would have the game. When the hostess was starting to seat me, I requested a seat where I could see the game. She replied, “What game?” I let her know I was referring to the World Series. She went and asked her manager about it and he informed me they would have it on a TV or two, but wouldn’t be playing the sound. I looked at him puzzled and he replied, “This is a football town. People don’t care about baseball.”

I thought it was strange that he just declared the whole city as a football town. Then I started to think how many times I label myself as something. I’m not good at that. I can’t learn that because I’m not good at math. I have OCD. I’m quirky. I’m an introvert. I don’t do well around other people. Whatever the label, we put them on ourselves and give ourselves an excuse not to do something. We’ve said things about ourselves so much that we can’t see any other options. We believe it so it’s true.

God does not define you by your limitations or labels. When He looks at you, He doesn’t see what you can’t do. He looks at who He created you to be. He sees the potential to rise above the labels you’ve anchored yourself with and desires that you cut free of them. The limitations you have in your life are self imposed. I know people who have physical disabilities who don’t allow themselves to be defined by them. They accomplish more than people without disabilities because that’s not how they see themselves.

If you allow the label you place on yourself, you will never be able to do what you dream of. You will never reach the potential of all that God created you to be. When He made you, He didn’t call you fat, stupid, lazy, disabled, impaired, OCD, tired or anything else negative. When He made you, according to Psalm 139, He said you were “fearfully and wonderfully made.” It goes on to say, “How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!” If God thinks about you that much about you and they are precious thoughts, then it’s time you changed how you thought about yourself too.

Are you smarter than God? Do you somehow know things about yourself that He doesn’t? It’s time to have the mind of Christ and see yourself in the same light that He does. Quit looking at what you think are liabilities and see how He can use those for His glory. Quit giving yourself excuses not to try something or to follow His will by labeling yourself with negative things. You are more than your self imposed limitations. When you get that, truly get that, you will be free and you will open the door for God to use you like never before.

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October 23, 2013 · 7:30 AM

Live Simply. Give Generously.

At the ReWrite Conference I attended this past weekend, Crystal Paine from Money Saving Mom blog spoke. She shared lots of great insight into writing and growing an audience. While I took notes on all of it, one thing she said resonated with me and I’d put on a plaque if I could. She said, “Live simply so you can give generously.” Those words weren’t just a catch phrase from her either. She donated all the proceeds from her last book to build a shelter for 160 mother’s and children in the Dominican Republic.

It’s crazy how all the little things we spend money on add up each week, month and year. I think about a convenience store run I made this week for junk food. I walked out with a bag full of goodies and spent $12. Imagine if I did that once a week. That would be $48 a month or $624 a year. I could feed an orphan in Haiti 2 meals a day for almost two years with just what I spent on junk food in one year. What I spend on junk food in a week could feed that child something nutritious for almost two weeks.

I’m not living simply, I’m simply living. There are so many other ways to look at this. What about the time I spend in front of the TV or on a device playing games? I easily spend an hour a day doing that. What if I spent that hour investing in someone else’s life who needs a mentor? What kind of difference would that make in both of our lives? What if I spent it at the nursing home being a friend to the elderly who’s family rarely comes to see them? I wonder how our quality of life would improve. What if I volunteered as a Big Bother for a kid who needs guidance? If I was able to change the trajectory of one life, it would be worth it.

When I think of that phrase, I imagine so many possibilities. So many ways I could give generously. Then reality sets in. I don’t want to give up my Kit Kat and Coke. I love playing Minion Rush to give my mind a break. When the need for helping an orphan arises, I’ll say,”I can’t this month.” When someone needs my attention, I’ll say, “I don’t have time.” When an organization looks for volunteers, I’ll say, “I’m booked. Maybe next month.” It’s easier to live in abundance than it is to live simply. It’s easier to make an excuse than an effort. An orphan goes hungry. A kid grows up without a mentor they can look up to. Other’s lives are affected, but not mine.

I don’t want to affect my own life. I’m comfortable if I don’t think about the impact I could have on someone else if I could give generously. All of a sudden living simply is too hard. I’ll console myself that I go to church, put money in the offering plate and help out minimally. I’ll tell myself that I’m a good person and everything is fine. The truth is that I have RYRS. That’s Rich Young Ruler Syndrome. I tell God that I’ve kept His commandments since I was a child. When He asks me to live simply and give generously, I walk away sad because I have lots of things I’d rather not give up.

He asked me to come follow Him and instead I’m walking back into the life I told Him I was willing to give up. When push came to shove, I couldn’t do it. An orphan went hungry. A wayward child went to jail a few years later. Someone’s grandparent died alone. I had the power. I had the choice, but I walked away because I wasn’t willing to let go of the little things keeping me from living simply and giving generously. I wonder how that conversation will go when I stand before God and He asks what I did with what He supplied. How will your conversation with God go?

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October 22, 2013 · 5:59 AM

Strong Enough To Overcome

I’ve been reading in the book of Joshua about the land allotment given to each tribe of Israel. You know the part where, like the genealogy sections, we typically skip over. I saw something interesting in Joshua 17:12-13. It says, “The people of Manasseh never were able to take over these towns – the Canaanites wouldn’t budge. But later, when the Israelites got stronger, they put the Canaanites to forced labor. But they never did get rid of them.” They couldn’t get rid of a few people in a few towns even after all the great conquests in the Promised Land.

As I read this, I began to think of the sins that I have in my life. You know the type. They’re the ones that no matter what I do, I can’t seem to beat. No matter how hard I try, I still succumb to their temptation every time. I’ve done fasting and prayer to get strong enough to beat them out of my life, but they still keep showing up. I’ll see something in the day that starts the process. My thoughts begin to dwell on the things that will eventually lead to the sin and sooner or later I fall. Sound familiar?

Near the last part of that verse, it says that they forced the Canaanites into forced labor when they became strong enough. When I read that, I thought of II Corinthians 10:5 that says, “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” It’s our thoughts that keep the temptation alive in our heads that walk us down the road to sin. I’m not strong enough to drive out those thoughts and so I end up sinning. But here, Paul says we have divine power to demolish the strongholds in our lives.

There is a power beyond ourselves, in Christ, that can give us the power to take those thoughts captive and as the book of Joshua says, “put them into forced labor.” When we try to combat these thoughts in our own strength, there isn’t enough power. Those thoughts seem to be fortified against whatever we throw at it. They’re like the Canaanites in Joshua 17:16. The people of Joseph complained that they didn’t have enough land because the Canaanites had iron chariots and couldn’t be moved.

Joshua didn’t care about the iron chariots. He wasn’t looking at this as a physical struggle, but a spiritual one. He spoke into the tribe what they were that they couldn’t see. He saw what God sees when He looks at us. In verses 17-18 he told them, “you are very powerful” and even tough the Canaanites had iron chariots and were strong too, “you can drive them out.” He spoke into their lives and called out in them what God had put in them. He reminded them of their past victories and current realities.

You may see yourself like these two tribes. You’ve forgotten all that God has forgiven and delivered you from. You have strongholds in your life that you’ve allowed to remain because you haven’t seen yourself as strong enough to beat them. You’ve allowed them to shame you and to accept them in your mind. I’m telling you today that you are strong enough to overcome. You are powerful through the Holy Spirit that God has placed in you. If He has forgiven you and given you deliverance from other sins, He can give you the strength to beat the ones you’re struggling with today. Though they seem fortified with iron, God’s Word is more powerful and it is alive in you today. Bring those thoughts into captivity and drive them out of your mind’s landscape. You are very strong.

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October 21, 2013 · 7:54 AM

Transformative Change

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If you ever watch a gecko, you’ll notice that they blend in to their environment really well. They have an ability to change colors so they fit in wherever they are. They change colors and patterns as part of their defense mechanism. Once their environment changes, so do they. Their life doesn’t change even though their external appearance does. Contrast that with a caterpillar who enters a cocoon and emerges as a butterfly. His change is permanent because he underwent a transformation and not just a quick change. His life is different in everything he does after his change.

That’s the difference between change and transformation. Change is temporary and doesn’t really affect who you are. You adapt to the hanging environment around you, but then once that is over, you go right back to being who you are. I’m familiar with this because I’ve lived that way. I’d change my colors to reflect the environment of the people I was around. When I was at church, I’d use my head knowledge of the scriptures to wow those in the environment around me. I blended in pretty well. I knew what to say, how to say it and when to say it.

When I was out with certain friends, I was able to change my colors to reflect that environment. I could tell jokes that would make my mom scrape my teeth with Ivory soap. I could be rude, crass and everything they expected me to be. I knew what to say, where to go and what to do. I fit in well in their eyes. I blended in with the group. Isn’t that what we really want? To blend in, be accepted and to be a part of the group. So we change who we are temporarily to reflect the environment we’re in. We become someone else in hopes of being accepted. When we get back home and it’s just us and no one else, we change back to our real colors.

It wasn’t until I was transformed though, that I became someone else. I can look back at the person who I was before my chrysalis and see a completely different person than I am now. Change is temporary, while transformation is permanent. Change is easy, transformation is painful and hard. It took being in a cocoon of pain and suffering to permanently change me. I grew wings through the suffering and my whole mindset changed. I began to see life differently and no longer had to adapt to my environment because I could rise above it.

When God saves us, it’s not a temporary change. It’s a transformation. It requires painful separation from who we once were to who we’re becoming. It means we have to make the hard choices to leave behind the life we lived before so we can embrace the new life He has for us. Instead of changing back and forth from environment to environment, God desires to continuously transform us more into His image each day. The transformation is a journey that will continue throughout life. I’m done with change and living for transformation.

Who do you find yourself relating to more, the gecko or the caterpillar? Are you tired of trying to change all the time in order to meet the expectations others have of you? Do you wish you could just be the person God made you to be? Romans 12:1 calls us to be transformed into a new person by changing the way we think. He wants to renew our minds and transform us, not just change us. He wants to create something new in your life. Ask God today to help transform you more into who He created you to be.

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October 17, 2013 · 7:50 AM

Rejected By The Church

I read an article yesterday about a teenage orphan in Florida who decided to be proactive in finding adoptive parents. He chose to go to church and address the congregation in order to see if someone would make him their child. He was born to a woman who was in jail and immediately taken into social services. The only thing his mom gave him was his name. He spent most of his life being angry at his situation and pushing people and prospective parents away hoping his birth parents would show up one day.

While searching for them, he found out that they were both deceased. He had to make a choice to continue being angry or to let it go. He chose the latter. His grades began to improve and he began to become the person he knew he was inside. His comments are what stuck out to me the most in this article. He said he had never had a home or felt loved. He said, “I’ll take anyone. Old young. Black, white or purple… I would be appreciative.” And then the article finished with him saying, “I know God hasn’t given up on me. So I’m not giving up either.”

My mind wants to go in so many ways with this. His whole life, all he’s wanted is what all of us want, to be loved. He wanted it from his birth parents, but now that’s not a possibility. He now will take it from anyone. Thankfully he reached out to a church. Sadly, no one offered to adopt him. I’m hoping at least someone there had a burden to show him love, to accept him for who he is, and to begin to fill the void in his life. He knows he’s going to be on his own in a couple of years and would love having the support of a family. That’s something most of us take for granted.

He said that he’d take anyone. He’s like a lot of people in this world. They’re broken and hurt. They’re looking for a place to belong. Are our churches a place where people like him can find refuge from their pain? Or are they a clique for the self righteous who feel they’re better than others? Have we become like the Pharisee in Luke 18 who looked up to Heaven and said, “I thank you, God, that I’m not a sinner everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector. I fast twice a week and I give you a tenth of my income”? Have we become so caught up in our traditions and rituals that we’ve turned a blind eye to those reaching out to us?

This kid found rejection where he should have found acceptance. He found doubt in a place of faith. He was looking for love and walked away empty handed. May God forgive us for all of the times people like him have walked through our doors and walked out alone. May He open our eyes to those who come in this week and give us the courage to be His hands and feet. May we be His expression of love and acceptance to those the world has rejected. May we be a safe haven for those who need to find a refuge. If God hasn’t given up on them, neither should we. Let’s open our eyes today and find someone who needs love and offer it to them. Both of your lives will forever change.

If you’d like to read the article I referenced, you can read it here.

Update: Over 10,000 people have now inquired about adopting this young man! See that article here.

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October 16, 2013 · 8:01 AM

God’s Flashlight

One of my son’s favorite songs right now is from Psalms 119:105. He marches around singing how God’s Word is a lamp to his feet and a light to his path. He doesn’t really know exactly what all he’s singing means, but I do. Him singing that song is a great reminder of when we’re lost, can’t see the future or in a dark place, that God’s Word is the light we need in order to see.

I like how the Message puts it. It says, “By your words I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path.” I like to know where I’m going. I like being able to see what my next step is before I take it. I can tell you from experience that it’s easy to get hurt when you walk in the dark. It’s easy to get tripped up when you can’t see what’s in front of you. It’s the same in the physical as well as the spiritual. We need light to be able to see. Yet, how many of us put that light in us?

The Bible is not just a book of rules and regulations. It’s a book of light for our lives. If we aren’t consuming it, we are wandering in darkness. It prepares us for the road ahead of us and shows us what is right in front of us. I saw a photo the other day of hikers going up a mountain at night. The side of the mountain was dotted with little, white lights from top to bottom. I thought to myself that it was a great image of what the Christian life is all about.

We are all on this journey in life seeking the summit in the dark. So many try to find the top of the mountain without any light. They try to get through without knowing what’s in front of them and they have no direction. God’s Word provides direction, light and peace. It’s what we need in order to find our way through steep inclines, low valleys and when we’re walking on the edge. God didn’t want us to walk this life alone in the dark. He wanted us to learn to trust Him so He gave us a light. The problem is we don’t use it as often as we should.

Are you in a dark place right now? Are you not sure which way to go? Let me encourage you today to get into the Bible. It will cast a light on your path and be a lamp to your feet. It will give you the wisdom you need to make the decisions ahead of you. It will show you people who took the wrong path and how God helped them. It will remind you that even if you’ve stumbled in the dark, God is still there willing to help you get back up and to point you in the right direction. Just like a flashlight is useless unless you turn it on, God’s Word can’t help you unless you open it up and read it.

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October 15, 2013 · 8:16 AM

Mediocrity Is A Choice

When I used to work with new hires at my company, I would have to give out a celebration of knowledge (test) at the end of each week. All it took was 80% to pass and they could take it as many times as they wanted. Once they passed, they’d raise their hand and I would go record their score. I used to love walking up to a person with an 80% and ask, “Is that enough for you? Is barely getting by how you live your life?” Some would accept the challenge and go for 100%, but many others said, “I passed. What else do you want from me?”

I see the same thing among many Christians. They know there are deeper levels of commitment and the ability to be more like Christ every day, but they choose not to. They are content with where they are. It frustrates some believers who are always pushing for that next level, and it can also be cause for others to live mediocre lives. They say, “Im doing enough to get to Heaven, why try harder?” They don’t see how doing more can deepen their roots because they don’t see the value in it.

Going beyond a basic commitment to Christ requires a lot more faith, time and effort. Many Christians are content to wander the desert like the Israelites. They’re no longer living in bondage, but not quite living in the Promised Land that God desires for them to live in. They spend years going in circles receiving food from God, but never really go anywhere. They’re content to wander because they know there’s hard work on the other side of Jordan.

Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I’m not saying you earn your salvation through works. I am saying that there is a life untapped by many Christians where living an overcoming life is the normal. So many of us look at that land like 10 of the spies did and think, “There are giants over there. I’ll get squashed if I try to go fight them.” Meanwhile God is wanting to make Himself more evident in our lives and is calling us to go fight those giants in His power.

Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.” Joshua and Caleb thought they could. The other 10 thought they couldn’t. Both were right. In their own strength, they couldn’t defeat the giants in that land or tear down the walls of cities. Joshua and Caleb didn’t look at it as their strength. They looked at what God was capable of and knew they could be victorious. Ultimately, they were the only two who were allowed to go into that land and to posses it. They were right. God’s strength was enough to win the battles.

Where do you find yourself in these two scenarios? Is it enough to wander through the desert of this life and to make it to Heaven? Do you want something more? Do you want to be an overcomer in this life and take your walk with God to another level? The choice belongs to each of us. Both require a commitment, one is just deeper and more involved. I believe God’s desire is that all of us find the Promised Land in our lives and He wants to move us from wandering to living on purpose.

What are things you’ve done to move away from mediocrity and into an overcoming life?

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