Tag Archives: encouraging

September 4, 2025 · 5:30 AM

Symbiotic Encouragement

There are at least three types of relationships we need to have in our lives. If you don’t have these, you need to make them. The first one is where I’m the encourager. There are certain people in my life that need encouragement when they call or want to meet. Then there are the people who encourage me when I need it. Finally, the most important one is the one where you mutually encourage each other. These relationships are symbiotic and benefit both parties involved. It’s important that you identify who fit into these categories in your life. We all need to both encourage others and to be encouraged.

David and Jonathan had the symbiotic type relationship. They loved each other dearly, looked out for each other and encouraged one another. They learned to put the other’s needs ahead of their own, thereby bringing value to each other. In 1 Samuel 23, Jonathan’s father Saul was chasing David to kill him. Saul wanted Jonathan to succeed him as king, nut Jonathan valued David more than the position. In verse 16 it says, “Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God” (NLT). They then renewed their pact of encouragement to each other and Jonathan went home.

Who is that person in your life? Who is the one who comes running in your time of need? Who is it that when you both walk away from conversations you feel better? Chances are the two of you are intentional about your conversations and meetings. In Romans 1:12, Paul was looking forward to going to Rome to meet with the believers. He wrote, “When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.” Encouragement is born from intentionality. It doesn’t just happen. Be praying that you would be an encourager, that there would be someone in your life who encourages you and most importantly that you would find a person to share symbiotic encouragement with.

Photo by Joseph Karges on Unsplash

Throwback Thursday is a feature I’m using to help build some margin into my schedule to pursue other ventures. Each Thursday I’ll be bringing you a previously written devotional that still speaks encouragement to us from God’s Word.

Encouragement For The Discouraged

Getting discouraged is something we all face in life over and over again. It can come from not getting the job we wanted, being rejected by someone, unanswered prayers or unmet expectations. It’s a mind game really. Our thoughts after a disappointment determine how we feel and how we feel determines how we behave. The more we behave in a disappointed manor, the more our thoughts takes us down the hole towards depression. Those thoughts lead to worse feelings which translate into worse behavior. It’s a downward spiral that’s hard to get out of. I’ve been caught in it before and here’s how I found my way out.

The first thing is to recognize the negative thoughts when they come in and to stop them. II Corinthians 10:5 tell us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. The Message says, “Fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the life shaped by Christ.” We can’t let destructive thinking roam free in our minds. We have to capture those thoughts, emotions and impulses that affect how we feel and bring them into captivity. To overcome discouragement, we have to quit dwelling on those thoughts and replace them with the promises of God.

The next thing we need to do is refocus our attention on God. David felt very discouraged after having been anointed king of Israel because instead of taking the throne, he was hiding in caves being pursued by the man he was replacing. He spent a lot of lonely nights wondering where God was and why He wasn’t fulfilling His promise. David called out to his inner man and challenged himself. In Psalm 43:5 he said, “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again!” You choose where to put your hope. If it’s in yourself or someone else, you’ll be disappointed. If it’s in God, you will not be.

Finally, surround yourself with people who will lift your spirits and stay away from those who will take you further down the hole. In II Corinthians 7, Paul was being persecuted and was feeling discouraged. He was going down the depression hole when God sent him Titus. In verse 7 he wrote, “But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus.” To me, nothing helps pull me out of the darkness of discouragement that fellow believers bearing light. We are meant to help each other by bearing each other’s burdens. If you can’t find someone in your circle who can bring that light, pray that the God who encourages the discouraged would send someone your way to encourage you.

The Domino Effect

Ten years ago today a friend and employee of mine died in a car crash. The crash killed her husband and daughter as well. Her two year old son survived, but was handicapped by the wreck and was in the hospital for a long time. Their deaths would be the first domino that would fall in my life and set off a chain reaction that wouldn’t stop until October of that same year.

While I would spend my spare time visiting their son in the ICU in downtown Houston, my wife would use her newly found free time to indulge deeper into a relationship she had started at work. I would then be brought into a custody battle for the son of my deceased friend and have to testify about people I had known for years. It was uncomfortable and not what I wanted. Not long after the custody battle I discovered my wife’s affair. That sent me deeper in depression.

One domino after another seemed to fall. While dealing with that, the landlord where I had my business decided not to renew my lease. The places where I kept trying to sign leases kept falling through. I finally found a place, but it would take a while to renovate. When I was almost done, the city inspector came in and made me tear it all down and start over. More money was lost. Time and energy that I didn’t have were being drained.

I had to take on a partner to help get the job done. While we were redoing everything, the IRS came and wanted back taxes I couldn’t pay. They threatened to take everything. The partner took over the business, but not my debts. The creditors called, knocked and harassed like they do. I ended up filing bankruptcy and losing everything. I started making half what I was and couldn’t afford my house or car. In October, my divorce was finalized and the last domino had fallen. I was tired, depressed and hopeless.

It took me a while before I started picking up the pieces of my life and began to put it back together. There aren’t many people actively involved in my life now who were there then. Everything in my life was turned over including friends. My life is not perfect, but I can tell you I’m a long way from where I was ten years ago. God has done some amazing things in my life and has restored to me more than what I lost. Enough had happened to me that I could have spent the rest of my life bitter, angry and depressed. I had every right to.

That’s not how God wants us to respond to adversity though. Those times in our lives build endurance. They build character. They leave scars and deep wounds too. I’m ten years out and I still break down when I think about the pain I suffered. It’s still real. I also am humbled when I look back and see that God never left me during that time. Even though I couldn’t see Him or feel Him then, I see now that He was working everything out for my good.

You may be going through a lot worse today. I don’t know. What I do know is that God has not left you nor has He forsaken you. Don’t believe the lies that He left you alone to struggle as the dominos in your life fall. He is creating something beautiful in your life and is preparing you for what’s ahead. Don’t give up or quit because you think there is no end to the falling dominos. They will stop at some point and you’ll find God at the end where He is waiting to build again.

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