Tag Archives: expectations

August 1, 2023 · 5:44 AM

Unmet Expectations

I’ve found that a lot of interpersonal problems are caused by unmet expectations. One person thought the other person should have done something. When they didn’t do it, they’re mad at them. The real issue though is hat they never told the other person that they had this expectation of them. In their mind it should be understood. Think about a time when you were upset or disappointed in someone. If you really look into it, chances are they didn’t meet your expectation. However, did you tell them you expected that? Relationships are hard because both people involved have a ton of expectations that they never express.

In 2 Kings 5, we read the story of a military leader named Naaman. When he got a dreaded disease called leprosy, one of his servant girls told him about a prophet in Israel that could heal him. His king sent him to Israel with a large tribute to pay the prophet for healing him. When he made it to Elisha’s house, Elisha sent out his servant to tell him to dip in the Jordan River seven times. Verse 11 says, “But Naaman became angry and stalked away. ‘I thought he would certainly come out to meet me!’ he said. ‘I expected him to wave his hand over the leprosy and call on the name of the Lord his God and heal me!’” (NLT). There’s that unmet expectation. Since Elisha didn’t do what he expected, he wasn’t going to follow the order for healing. He almost missed out on his healing because of an unmet expectation. How many have we missed out on because God didn’t do what we expected and we pouted?

Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” We like to quote this verse, but honestly it’s telling us to trust God even when His requests aren’t what we expect. We’re not to lean on our own understanding or expectations. It’s easy for us to get mad at God for not doing what we expected, but the truth is that we must still trust Him even when He doesn’t meet our expectations. We must still love Him when He doesn’t answer the way we think He should. We have to keep following Him when we don’t understand. Faith trusts that God’s plan is greater than my expectations. If you’re mad at God or disappointed in Him because He didn’t do what you wanted, are you really trusting Him with your whole heart? Don’t let an unmet expectation stunt your spiritual growth or hinder your relationship with God.

Photo by Daniel Diemer on Unsplash

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September 4, 2020 · 5:58 AM

Change Your Expectations

From the time my son was born, he has been allergic to milk, gluten and eggs. The problem was that we didn’t know it. For years he would hold his ears in the bathroom because a flushing toilet made him scream. At restaurants, we had to eat while watching for if the servers were gathering to sing happy birthday because that would make him cry and scream. Then a couple of years ago, my wife’s uncle asked if we liked living that way. Assuring him we didn’t, he asked for our son, laid hands on him and prayed for healing. After the prayer, my son asked if he was healed. We asked him if he thought he was. He said yes. We then asked for a glass of milk. He drank the milk and proclaimed he was healed. Either we expected God to heal him or we didn’t. Giving him milk said we trusted God for the healing.

Faith is about expectations. What do you expect God to do? Do you expect to hear from God? Are you expecting the miracle you need? I’ve always heard that expectations determine outcomes. When Jesus healed people, He would ask them to go show themselves to the priest. When Namaan needed healing, he had to dip seven times. On the sixth he still had leprosy, but he dipped the seventh. We need to pray with expectation. We need to read God’s Word with expectation. We need to go to church with expectation. Our faith produces little because we’re expecting little. Change your expectations and you will change your life.

By the way, we had my son get an allergy test that showed he was off the charts allergic to milk, gluten and eggs. After we prayed and gave him milk, we took him to be tested again. All three showed up at zero allergies.

Here are some Bible verses on expecting from God.

1. Be strong and let your hearts take courage, All you who wait for and confidently expect the LORD.

Psalms 31:24 AMP

2. Be brave. Be strong. Don’t give up. Expect GOD to get here soon.

Psalm 31:24 MSG

3. Faith assures us of things we expect and convinces us of the existence of things we cannot see.

Hebrews 11:1 GW

4. Wait for and confidently expect the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for and confidently expect the LORD.

Psalms 27:14 AMP

5. Then Jesus put his hands over their eyes and said, “You will have what your faith expects!”

Matthew 9:29 TPT

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

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January 23, 2019 · 5:46 AM

Unmet Expectations

One of the things I’ve learned is that unmet or unrealistic expectations hurt and often kill relationships. When we’re in any kind of relationship, we automatically create our expectations from the other party and the relationship. If we never communicate those to them, or clarify what we think are their expectations, we will end up disappointed and confused. It’s a shame that so many relationships go south because of this, and worse that we blame the other party for the problem because they didn’t do what we expected them to do, but never clearly told them. If these misfires happen in inter-human relationships, how much more do they happen between God and us.

There are times where I’ve been so sure I’ve heard from God, but I assumed and expected it would happen a certain way. When it doesn’t happen that way, I get frustrated with God and often do something that is not in His plan. Think of Moses. Even though God told him that Pharaoh wouldn’t let Israel go without being forced to, he thought it would happen differently. When it didn’t happen according to Moses’ plan, and things got bad, he got mad and questioned God in Exodus 5:22-23. He said to God, “My Master, why are you treating this people so badly? And why did you ever send me? From the moment I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name, things have only gotten worse for this people. And rescue? Does this look like rescue to you?” (MSG)

If things in your life or ministry aren’t happening the way you thought they should after you clearly heard God, hold on. He is at work in you and in the situation. We know that He works ALL things together for our good. Your frustration is simply your unmet expectation of what you thought God was going to do. Go back to God in prayer, submit to His plan and for Him to do things His way. Ask Him to help you see His plan so you understand what He’s doing, how He’s doing it and why. He may not give you those answers, but as one who speaks from experience, the sooner you submit to His plan and His way of accomplishing it, the better off you’ll be.

Photo by AZGAN MjESHTRI on Unsplash

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August 21, 2014 · 7:37 AM

Little Things Make Big Messes

I always thought I was a person who had been faithful in the little things until I read the final chapter in “Good to Great in God’s Eyes” by Chip Ingram. The last chapter is about developing great habits and in it he lists six great habits to adopt. One of which is “Do your own dishes – The principle of responsibility”. He wrote about putting up your folded clothes instead of leaving them out, washing your dishes instead of putting them in the sink and putting your dirty clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor. Each one hit home because I’m guilty of all of them.

If that wasn’t enough, he then wrote, “We usually don’t make a conscious decision to expect others to clean up our messes. It’s a habit. But behind that habit is an assumption that it’s up to someone else to make our life work.” Subconsciously we leave things out, put dishes in the sink and throw our clothes on the floor in hopes that someone else will do it. When they don’t do it, we get exasperated and huff and puff while we have to do it. Am I the only one like this?

These small examples are part of a bigger problem. The attitude of expecting others to make our life work bleeds into our spiritual life too. We expect our pastor to be in charge of our spiritual growth. We expect them to read the scripture to us instead of looking it up ourselves. We get upset when we don’t get anything out of the service, yet we put nothing into it. All of these are “little” things, but they prove to God that He can’t trust us with the big things. We can’t grow because we don’t have any roots.

Zig Ziegler once said, “If you take care of the little things, the big things will take care of themselves.” There are so many little things in our lives that we’ve left undone. When they become big things, we wonder where God is in our mess. We expect Him or someone else to come save us because we’ve come to expect others to clean up our messes. We are the ones who made them, yet we feel it is God’s responsibility to clean them up. Then, when it’s not cleaned up immediately, we get upset with God for not answering.

Our messes are our own responsibility. We create them because we haven’t learned to be faithful in the little things. Today, look at your life to see what little things need your attention. If you’re in a big mess, trace it back and you will see that it started with something little. Once we learn to do the menial tasks, God can trust us with more important tasks. I know I still have lots to work on in this area myself. I can’t expect God to do more through me than He’s doing right now until I learn to take care of the tasks I thought didn’t matter.

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