Tag Archives: holding a grudge

The Key Of Forgiveness

Have you ever been hurt by someone that it cut you to the core? You get hit with so many emotions when that happens. Anger shows up pretty early on. It wants revenge and retribution for your pain. It slowly takes over all your thoughts and playing out scenarios of payback. Resentment then shows up. It persistently reminds you of what they have done and puts that blame on them. It plants the seeds for bitterness to take root and grow. It reminds you that you’re the victim and builds up more anger. I draws lines in the sand that keeps you from healing by helping you to hold a grudge. In the end, you’re held in a prison of pain that your mind has put you in, and you don’t realize it until it’s too late. To get free, you’ll have to forgive. To keep from going back to that prison, you’ll have to learn to stop this process early on.

Joseph was just 17 years old and next to the youngest of 12 sons. He was his father’s favorite and all his brothers knew it. They allowed the process of anger play out in their minds and began to hate him. They complained about him and played out scenarios in their minds of what they would do to him. Then one day the opportunity arose and they decided to act on their anger and resentment. They planned to kill him, but one brother stopped them. Instead they beat him up, took his belongings and sold him into slavery. Their bitterness had gotten the best of them. However, Joseph didn’t return the favor. He stopped anger, resentment and bitterness before they could take root. He led with forgiveness even though he had every reason to hate them. Though he was in a physical prison, he never was in a mental one. In the end, God used him to save his family.

Ephesians 4:27 says, “And do not give the devil an opportunity [to lead you into sin by holding a grudge, or nurturing anger, or harboring resentment, or cultivating bitterness]” (AMP). More often than not, we find ourselves on the brothers’ side of the story than Joseph’s when it comes to anger and resentment. We justify our actions because of what they did, but that’s not God’s way. The devil leads us into sin and personal prison by helping us cultivate unhealthy thoughts. The roots from those thoughts can permeate every aspect of our lives before we know it if we allow them to continue. However, you don’t have to stay in that prison. Ask God to help you break the thoughts that have placed and kept you there. Ask Him to help you unlock the prison with the key of forgiveness. Then ask Him to help you guard your mind and to control your thoughts so you don’t get locked up again.

Photo by Silas Köhler on Unsplash

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Forgiving One Another

Several years ago I reconnected with a person that went to my high school. I watched silently as they posted pictures of the ministry they were doing. Inside, i would think, “What’s their game? Who are they trying to fool?” I had seen this person play the part of a Christian, but could tell they were faking it. Fast forward twenty years later and I felt like they were still faking it. I watched them for almost a year as they kept updating about their ministry. Each time it would burn me up. One day as I was stewing over it, the Lord spoke to me and said, “Why are you holding their past against them? Do I do that to you?”

I can tell you that was an humbling experience. God reminded me that as a person, I only look at the outside of a person, but He looks on the inside to see the true intent. I finally reached out to this person and found out that God changed their life in college. After they shared their testimony, I confessed how I had felt and what God spoke to me. From that point, I began to look for ways to partner with them in the ministry they were doing. Once I forgave them for their past, I was free for God to use me as well.

Ephesians 4:32 says, “But instead be kind and affectionate toward one another. Has God graciously forgiven you? Then graciously forgive one another in the depths of Christ’s love” (TPT). Many of us are guilty of holding something against someone because of something they’ve done in the past. As believers, we must forgive them or we withhold our own forgiveness. If the depths of Christ’s love can cover any sin, we too must learn to forgive in the same manner. Who knows what our unforgiveness is keeping us from? Even if the relationship isn’t reconciled, forgiveness is our path forward in Christ.

Photo by Marta Esteban Fernando on Unsplash

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The Freedom Of Forgiveness 


To me, one of the saddest things anyone has said is, “I can never forgive you for what you’ve said and done.” That’s a pretty strong statement and it’s usually spoken out of hurt and anger. It’s meant to hurt and cut to the core the way that person has been hurt. If you’ve ever spoken them or had them spoken to you, you understand. The problem is it creates bitterness and hate within a person. Pain mixed with a grudge is an incubator for anger. Nothing good comes from situations where one side isn’t forgiven.

If you’ve had those words spoken to you because of something you’ve said or done, and you’re truly sorry, it’s also difficult to handle. Every one of us makes mistakes. Every one of us hurts other people whether intentional or not. When we’ve said or done the unforgivable, and the other person won’t release us, we can either spend a lifetime trying to prove how truly sorry we are or we can walk away knowing we’ve done our part. Either way, there’s an incompleteness to being unforgiven. 

In Matthew 12, a Pharisee said some hurtful things to Jesus. He accused Him of being demon possessed and that His power came from Satan. After Jesus explained to him how a house divided can’t stand, he then addressed the sin inside the man. In verse 31, Jesus said, “There’s nothing done or said that can’t be forgiven” (MSG). That’s a powerful statement that you and I need to grasp and meditate on today. Read it again.

There is nothing you can do or say that can’t be forgiven by God. No matter how bad or how wrong, He’ll never say He can’t forgive you. If you’ve been holding back asking forgiveness for something, I want you to release it today. Get rid of that incompleteness that’s created from unforgiveness, and be made whole at the cross. God isn’t human. He doesn’t hold grudges or harbor resentment against us for things we’ve said or done and been forgiven of. Give it to God and be set free today.

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