Tag Archives: pain

August 30, 2013 · 8:04 AM

Get Up, Don’t Give Up

For the first time in a long time, I watched the movie “Rudy”. If you’ve never seen it, it’s the story of a young kid who wants to play football for Notre Dame. His family laughs when he tells them he’s going to. His high school won’t let him go visit the campus because his grades weren’t good enough. Notre Dame refused to let him in also. None of that stopped him. He finally got accepted and made the practice squad for the football team. Every time he got hit, he got back up for the next play.

The story is really about what someone who has a lot of heart can endure and accomplish. Rudy wasn’t athletic, but he was strong willed. He wasn’t smart, but he was a hard worker. He wasn’t easily dismayed because he had determination. His coaches all wished they could take his heart and put it in someone with athletic ability. He kept pushing for his dream no matter what others said.

Where most people would have given up, he kept getting up. That’s a lesson for each of us today. It’s easy to give up when life keeps hitting us. It’s natural to want to stay down when others think you should just give up. But God put something in each one of us that makes us want to get back up. I know that after a while, that thing that God put in us can get awful quiet compared the thoughts of quitting and giving up. It can seem non-existent when you’re on your back and you have stars going around your head because you’ve just been hit so hard.

Let’s be honest. It’s easy to stay down. The fear of getting hit again tries to talk you into staying down. The embarrassment of the situation and what others think starts to convince you to just give up. It makes me think of a demotivational poster I once saw that said, “At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.” Those are the thoughts that the enemy brings to keep you down and to convince you not to get back up. He does that because he knows that each time you get back up, you’re stronger for it.

At some point, he has to quit throwing stuff at you. He knows this is only temporary, but if he can convince you it’s permanent, you’ll stay down and quit. When that happens, he wins. For me, I can’t stand to lose, especially to the enemy. I learned what it took to motivate myself to get back up each day, take a hit and to keep moving forward. It all starts with the mind. You must learn to block the thoughts that tell you to give up. You must learn to motivate yourself with God’s Word. Understand that while you have it bad, someone else has it worse. If they could still stand, I knew I could.

You may have to take several more hits before this is over. Stand strong though. Know that this period of trials and struggles is only temporary. I know that when it keeps coming month after month it doesn’t feel that way. Get back up today, stand your ground and declare that you won’t lose any more ground. Seek God’s strength to help you when yours fails. Know that you are becoming stronger than you ever would have if these things wouldn’t have happened and God will always be able to use that in your future.

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August 16, 2013 · 8:12 AM

Your Tomorrow is Coming

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My wife made some comments last night about how the book of Judges ended. I decided to open it up and read there today because it has been a while since I’ve dug through that book. I started in chapter 20 and found something I know I’ve read before, but now have a new perspective on. The story she was referring to was there. An Israelite had been traveling through the country and was in Benjamin’s territory. The men of the city came to them, raped his wife and killed her. He let the other 11 tribes know what happened and they came to his defense.

When the city and tribe of Benjamin wouldn’t give up the men who did this, the other 11 tribes sent word for their armies to come to the city to deal with it. Around 400,000 warriors showed up. They prayed and asked God which tribe should be out front in the attack. God responded with Judah. They went to attack and lost. They came back to God and asked, “Should we attack them again?” God replied, “Yes! Attack them.”

The next day, they went to battle again and got whipped. They came back weeping and crying. They fasted the rest of the day and asked God one more time if they should attack or should they call it quits. God said, “Attack! Tomorrow I’ll give you victory.” They went out the next day just as before. The army of Benjamin came out full force to attack, but this time was different. The army of the 11 tribes was victorious to the point they almost wiped out the entire tribe of Benjamin.

What I saw was that God gave them the go ahead to go into battle and they lost. Twice. They were in the will of God, there was no sin in the camp and they still lost. They didn’t just lose. They were humiliated. Their army of 400,000 was beaten twice by an army of less than 30,000. Plus, they had God on their side telling them to attack and to go into battle. When they went to God each night, He didn’t give them a reason that they lost. He just told them to go attack again. I’m sure their faith was shaken by the third day when they approached the battlefield.

Just because we’re in God’s will it doesn’t mean we won’t suffer loss. Even if we have God’s exact words to do something, we may not get the result we thought we were going to get. He may not tell us why we are suffering in the place He told us to go. We may feel humiliated about our circumstances and wonder what other people are saying. Doubt can come in and say, “Are you sure you heard God? Why did God bring me to this place just to let me be defeated?” Guard your mind against those thoughts and do what the army did each night.

They returned to the presence of God day after day. They continued to listen to His voice. They still followed His directions even though it had meant loss before. They also entered into a fast to ask for His favor. Then God said, “Tomorrow I’ll give you victory.” I don’t know when your “tomorrow” is, but I do know if you’ll keep trusting and obeying what God says, tomorrow will come. Victory will be yours. This time of loss will end and you will once again be restored and bring restoration to others.

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May 13, 2013 · 8:12 AM

Death of a Dream

Yesterday at church, we did something that we haven’t done since I was a kid. We had people share their testimonies. It wasn’t like it was back then either. I remember as a child sitting on the pew as people would get up and share what The Lord had done in their lives. This wasn’t quite like that. This was a pre planned time of testimonies built into the sermon that went along with it. I thought it was very good.

The sermon was about people in the Bible who’s dreams were crushed, changed or died. We can relate because we’ve all had dreams in our lives that have met similar fates. It’s hard not to get discouraged when that happens. We often think we’re the only one who has dealt with the death of a dream. We feel alone and isolated. Defeated.

That’s where I think testimonies are the biggest help. It shows people in the church that there are others like them who have gone through something similar. It builds a point of connection. It shows that the church isn’t full of people who have it all together. It shows we’re human. It also helps us to overcome. Yes, overcome. Scripture says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. It’s when others hear what God has done for us that they can become encouraged to keep fighting.

Yesterday, I heard stories of parents who raised their kids in church and how they have quit going. In tears, these parents poured their hearts out to the congregation telling them the struggles they faced during those times. Some had returned while others had not. After reaching the point in believing the dream was dead, God revived the dream and there is hope again.

Another shared of the struggles of expecting to be married by a certain age. They shared about their feelings of worthlessness and that no one wanted them. They shared that they had to let their dream of what they wanted for their life to die, so that God could show them His dream. When we release our dreams and embrace His dreams, we don’t have those feelings of worthlessness and failure anymore. We learn to depend on Him for our sense of worth and not what someone else says or does.

I got to share my own dreams that died. Dreams of a picture perfect life where I had it all. I was poised for a comfortable life and had laid the foundation for a bright future for myself and my family when suddenly it was all taken from me. I shared how there was no hope, no joy and no future. But God, in His mercy, came and met me in that dark place and replanted a dream in me of who He wanted me to become. He gave me hope and restored my joy. I came back from the brink of suicide and murder to a place where He can use me.

Where are you? What dreams have died in your life that you are holding against God? It’s time to let go of them so you can embrace His dream for your life. We can become bitter when we look at Jesus like Mary, the sister of Lazarus, and say, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother (my dream) would not have died.” It’s when we release those broken, crushed and dead dreams that God can plant a new one in you. It will be greater than the dream you had before. When you look back, you will be thankful he let that dream die because the new one is so much better. I can say that with confidence because I’m there right now.

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April 10, 2013 · 8:33 AM

Hope to Help You Endure

This morning God woke me up with a single word: hope. There are a lot of people reading this today who need it. I know what it feels like to not have it. I also know that a little bit goes a long way. It keeps you going when you are at the end of your rope. It’s the difference between letting go and hanging on just a little bit longer. To me it has always been one of those things that gives me just enough energy when I think I’m done.

In Psalm 142, David was hiding out in a cave as he was being hunted down. He was feeling like many of us do. Here’s what he says in verses 3-7. See if you can relate:

As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away, you know how I’m feeling, know the danger I’m in, the traps hidden in my path.
Look right, look left – there’s not a soul who cares what happens!
I’m up against it, with no exit- bereft, left alone.
I cry out, God, call out: “You’re my last chance, my only hope for life!”
Oh listen, please listen; I’ve never been this low.
Rescue me from those who are hunting me down;
I’m no match for them.
Get me out of this dungeon so I can thank you in public.
Your people will form a circle around me and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!

The lies that were in his head told him that no one cared about him, that no one was there for him and that he was all alone. Maybe you’re hearing the same thing in your mind today. You think you have to face this alone. You feel like there is no one who understands what you’re going through. That isn’t true. Don’t dwell on those thoughts. Those lead to a place where there is no hope.

We serve a God of hope though. In Jeremiah 29:11 God says, “For I know the plans I have for you. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” He has a future for you even when you can’t see it. He also wants to give you hope today even when you can’t see it. He has a plan for you and this thing you’re going through is part of it. He is strengthening you through it and preparing you to endure whatever else may come in the future.

Max Lucado wrote in his book “On the Anvil”, “God may have you go through a storm at 30 so you can endure a hurricane at 60.” I remember going through that storm and thinking, “If this is the storm, I don’t want to be in the hurricane.” What seems impossible to survive now will make it possible for you to endure in the future. You can survive this. You can make it through. There is hope.

I love how David ended his prayer above. “Your people will form a circle around me and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!” Don’t push away the people that God is placing in your life and are trying to form a circle of protection around you. Let them. Let them pray for you and with you. Be open and honest about how you are feeling so they’ll know how to pray. And when you’re on the other side of this, what was a storm will be showers of blessing.

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April 3, 2013 · 7:57 AM

The Purpose in Pain

I had the privilege several years ago of watching a skilled potter work. He took a dark lump of clay and threw it on his spinning wheel. He had to make sure it was centered so it didn’t fly off at high revolutions. As it spun, he dipped his hands in water and began to apply pressure to the spinning lump. It immediately began to change. It grew taller and thinner as he worked with it. Every few minutes, he would stop, pull out a knife and dig into it. He could feel rocks in the clay and needed to cut them out or the vessel would crack later in the fire.

He then took a utensil and placed it in the center of the clay as it was spinning. He began to hollow it out. As he did, he would throw the extra clay in another pot. Once it was hollow, he began to really change the shape. You could now imagine a jar or a flower vase. My mind saw it all painted with gold accents. He then took a pointed utensil and began holding it to the side of the creation. He started making designs on it as it spin. It was really a work of art.

It reminded me of Isaiah 64:8. It says, “We are the clay and you are the potter. We are formed by your hand.” As I think back on my life and the things I’ve endured, I remember that potter with his knife and his utensils. I see times where there were rocks in my life that needed to be cut out. Having a knife stuck in you hurts. Especially when it’s the potters knife. The one you trust. At the time I couldn’t see that He was making sure I wouldn’t crack later.

I think of the times in my life when I was hollowed out. My life felt empty inside. I watched as my life was picked apart and thinned out. My wife left. My friends left. My business left. I had nothing. Now I realize that it’s only when I have been hollowed out that I can truly become a vessel that He can fill up. I was full of myself and things that didn’t matter. He had to empty me so He could fill me. At the time I couldn’t see that He was preparing me to be used by Him for His purpose.

At the end of the demonstration, he held up one of the most beautiful pieces of pottery I had ever seen. I started calculating how much money I had so I could buy this piece. I wanted it so badly. I had picked out the perfect place in my house. I was ready to get into a bidding war until he did something I’ll never forget. He crushed it. My heart sank. He had spent almost an hour meticulously creating such a beautiful vessel. Wasted time, effort and hope. He then said, “Everything I’ve done to this vessel means nothing until it goes through fire. Only then will it really be worth something. Until then, it is easily crushed.”

God allows us to walk through fire in our lives. He allows difficult things to happen because if we don’t, we will easily be crushed when it is time for Him to use us. He made us a promise though in Isaiah 43:1-2. God says to you, “I have called you by name; you are mine… I will be with you… When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up.” There is a purpose to the fires in your life. There is meaning in being hollowed out. There is hope when you’re in the fire. God is at work in you and thinks you are a vessel He can use. Don’t jump off the wheel, dodge the utensils He uses or be afraid of the fire. They’re for your benefit.

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March 25, 2013 · 8:26 AM

Holy Week

I wasn’t raised to really celebrate Holy Week. In fact, I probably didn’t know it was called “Holy Week” until about a decade ago. We always celebrated Palm Sunday and Easter, but never did anything to celebrate Maundy Thursday or Good Friday. As we celebrated Palm Sunday yesterday, I got to thinking about how this week in Jesus’ life is a lot like many of ours. It’s one more proof that He understands our joys and our pains.

If you are unfamiliar with the story, Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. As he entered the city, the people began to lay palm leaves on the road and they shouted, “Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is He who comes in the name of The Lord. Hosanna in the highest!” It was a parade for a Messiah from a people who thought He was there to deliver them from Roman rule.

He wasn’t there to deliver them from a temporary ruler. He was there to deliver them eternally from sin. They didn’t understand His true purpose. He wasn’t there to be lifted up as a magistrate so all would bow. He was there to be lifted up as a sacrifice for our sins. His purpose was to go there to die and He knew it riding in there that day. I often see pictures and adaptations of Him smiling and waving, but I wonder if that’s accurate. The day before, His face was set like a stone to go to Jerusalem. He was determined to complete His mission.

Somewhere between Sunday and Thursday the crowds turned on Him. The ones who had been yelling “Hosanna” now were yelling “Crucify Him!” Have you ever had life do that to you? One day you were on top of the world. Everything seemed to be going right and then, out of no where, it smacks you down? You’re left with questions, not answers. The ones who were your friends now act like your enemies. Your mind tries to process the information, but it doesn’t add up. “What just happened,” it tries to reason.

Jesus understands those thoughts and doubts. Even though He was determined, He still struggled with the pain and thought of what was going on. His human nature was very much alive. We don’t read about Satan tempting Him here, but you better believe he was working double time on Jesus’ mind during this week. Jesus understands what it’s like to have those closest to you turn their back on you and not even acknowledge that they know you. The difference is He loved them anyway.

Even though they turned on Him, He refused to turn on them. He came here so that we would have forgiveness of our sins. He came to show us that we can still overcome when the world turns its back on us. We can have victory because He was victorious. As you go through this week, don’t just let it be another normal week. Take time this week to read and think through what Jesus went through for you. Be amazed at the pain He endured to show you love and to bring you home. This is Holy Week. This is why He came.

I’m curious to know how others around the world celebrate this week. Let me know how you celebrate it in the comments section below.

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February 8, 2013 · 10:42 AM

Joy in the Struggle

How do you find joy in the middle of a struggle? When your world is caving in on all sides, is it possible to still have peace and strength? I believe it is. We often confuse joy and happiness. They are completely different. Happiness is dependent on circumstances. Joy is not. It is something that lives in you and gives you strength to move forward when you don’t have the strength on your own. It is what keeps you going when everything tells you to quit.

I know what it’s like to struggle to find the will to live each day. I’ve faced things in my life that broke me. My brother would call me every hour just to make sure I was alive. I finally told him that I wasn’t going to give up or give in to everything that was coming against me. Each night as I laid in bed I would repeat Nehemiah 8:10. It says, “The joy of The Lord is your (my) strength.”

In our daily lives we have a choice to make. Are we going to let ourselves be destroyed by our circumstances or we going to endure them? None of us are exempt from having bad things happening to us. None of us are exempt from being dealt one bad thing after another until we reach our breaking point. Happiness will not help you get through them. If your strength is dependent on happiness, you will quickly crumble and fail. Depression will set in and your struggles will be compounded.

Great men of faith on the Bible endured their trials and tests because they kept in mind that the things that were coming against them were not an attack from God. They were tests to prove and strengthen their faith. Each person that endures hardships comes away with a deeper faith and is stronger for it. I found that what helped me was to keep in mind the promises that God had made to me. I think the people in the Bible did the same. They didn’t let their circumstances override what they knew about God. They hung on to the hope of better days ahead.

One of my favorite scriptures that helped me and still does when I go through struggles is Romans 5:3-5. It says, ” We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (NLT)”

Whatever you’re going through today, the struggles, the fears, the stresses, God sees you and is building you up. A person who works out doesn’t grow unless they push themselves further than they can go. You cannot get to where God wants you without being stretched. It is tiring. It is painful. It is tearful. You can rejoice and have joy as the scripture says when you are going through things because it still means God is moving you to where He wants you and He knows you can do it.

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January 9, 2013 · 6:53 AM

Forgiveness

How do you forgive the unforgivable? How do you come to the place where you can forgive someone for the ultimate betrayal? When you’ve trusted someone with everything and they stab you in the back as they take it all away, it’s hard to come to that place. It’s even more difficult when you have daily reminders. It’s like someone is just twisting the knife in you. The pain becomes unbearable. Not understanding why just makes it more difficult.

For me, I’ve had to let go of that last question to come to a place of forgiveness. The question of why will eat you up like a cancer. It causes you to hold on to the pain, the depression and it keeps the wounds open. I tried to drown my pain. I tried to run from it too. I did anything and everything I could to find a way to get rid of the constant reminders. I eventually covered up the wound and just pretended that it didn’t exist.

If I could forget it happened, I could numb the pain. If I could pretend it was a bad dream, somehow it would make me forget. Over time, that seemed to work. It sat there though dormant waiting in the dark. I would never be able to forget or make the scars go away though. It wasn’t until I confronted the pain, the hurt and the scars that I found forgiveness.

I heard Dave Roever speak about a year ago. His body is riddled with physical scars from having a phosphorous grenade blow up by his head as he was throwing it. His words pierced me. He said, “Don’t hide your scars. In them lies healing for you and for others.” Could it be that by hiding the scars and withholding forgiveness I was preventing myself and others from healing? I now know he was right. By looking at what happened and uncovering the layers of things I used to cover up the pain, I was able to find forgiveness.

Jesus gave the best example of forgiveness as He was on the cross. He was able to look the men in the eye who beat Him, mocked Him and betrayed Him. He was able to find forgiveness while the nails were still in His hands. He was able to find peace while the blood was pouring out of His body and say, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.” He was able to see the whole plan of what was happening. You and I aren’t afforded that luxury.

It took years to see the plan and the reasons why. The betrayal in my life knocked me completely off the path I was on and put me on another one. It changed my outlook, the way I think and ultimately who I am. If it hadn’t been for that one act, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Being able to have that perspective this far away is what helped me find forgiveness. I know that what happened, while it hurt deeply and still does, was a course correction that God used to get me where He wanted me.

If they were the tool that God used to get me here, how can I withhold forgiveness? When I withhold forgiveness, I can’t be who I am supposed to be. It will keep me in a prison of pain and bitterness and I will miss what God has for me. I knew the day would come when I would have to forgive because Jesus also said, “If you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Were the sins committed against me any worse than my sins against God? No. He found a way to forgive me, I have to find a way to forgive others.

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