Tag Archives: shame

December 3, 2025 · 5:31 AM

Combating Shame

I’ve talked with a lot of people lately who are struggling with shame and condemnation. Shame says, “You are bad because of what you’ve done.” Condemnation says, “You are guilty and should be defined by this failure.” Neither of these are from God. They are lies from the enemy to keep you from growing and guilting you into minimizing communication with God and others. These lies dig roots down into your life to make you ineffective as a Christian. Just like any lie, it must be confronted with the truth of who you are in Christ and by who God is. It’s not easy to break their power over your mind and life, but it must be done.

In Luke 15 Jesus told the story of a son who shamed his father and his family by asking for his inheritance early. When he got it, he took off to be far away from his father to waste his inheritance. About the time the money ran out, there was a famine in the land. Shame and condemnation would want to keep him there away from his father. Then it says, “When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger!’” (NLT) He returned with the plan to use shame and condemnation’s words, “I’m not worthy to be your son.” However when his father heard it, he called for the family ring To be put in his finger, sandals to be put on his feet and for a robe to be placed around him. The father rejected those lies and showed him that his heart is for his children.

Romans 8:1 says, “So now there is NO condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” If you are hearing the voice of those lies, know they are not from God. I love the parable of the Prodigal Son because it proves this verse. Had the son done those things? Yes, but God did not define him by those actions. Instead he reminded him and everyone else of his sonship. You are not what you have done in the past. Don’t stay in a foreign place while God is waiting for you to come home. God gives conviction to point out sin with the purpose of seeking forgiveness the way the prodigal did. He defines you as His child and is ready to restore you to where you belong. Quit listening to the lies of shame and condemnation. Speak the truth and walk in the freedom God gives.

Photo by Ali Naderi on Pexels.

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April 11, 2024 · 5:30 AM

Finding Grace

When I was around seven or eight, I did something that upset my mom. She told me that when my dad came home from work he was going to punish me. She then sent me to my room to wait. After I got in there, I began to think of the punishment I was going to get. I thought about hiding. It seemed like the best plan until I thought about escaping through the window. I then realized that would make it worse. Finally, I decided to put on every pair of underwear I had and some baggy pants. As I waited, all I could think about was the punishment. To be honest, I don’t remember the punishment that day. I just remember the build up and fear.

When you and I sin, we often act like that. It’s the Adam and Eve approach to sin. We feel bad for what we’ve done, and more than anything, we’re embarrassed. It’s obvious God knows about it, but for whatever reason, going to Him seems like a far fetched idea. To be forgiven freely doesn’t feel right, so we wallow in our shame for a bit. It’s like we feel the need to punish ourselves over our sins. The truth is that God doesn’t want us to hide from Him in those moments. He wants us to come to Him right away for the grace He gives.

Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us have confidence, then, and approach God’s throne, where there is grace. There we will receive mercy and find grace to help us just when we need it” (GNT). The verse before says that Jesus understands our weaknesses and sympathizes with us. He didn’t come into the world to condemn us, but that through Him we would find grace when we need it most. He is merciful, and too often we forget that. There’s no reason to hide from Him because of what you’ve done. He knows about it and loves you still. Approach His throne today, get the grace you need and lose your shame.

Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash

Throwback Thursday is a feature I’m using to help build some margin into my schedule to pursue other ventures. Each Thursday I’ll be bringing you a previously written devotional that still speaks encouragement to us from God’s Word.

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April 25, 2023 · 5:32 AM

Shame Off You

One of the tricks the enemy uses against us is shame. It can be debilitating or hold us in a cycle of sin. In Genesis 3, we read the story of Adam and Eve. Satan came and tempted Eve to disobey God. She ate of the forbidden fruit and then gave some to Adam. Verse 7 says, “At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves” (NLT). Then when God came to meet with them, shame caused them to hide from Him. It does the same thing in our lives. It’s designed to break our relationship with God and others, keeping us from forgiveness and wholeness.

In Joshua 5, the Israelites had crossed over Jordan and were headed to Jericho. Before they went into battle, God wanted to renew their commitment to Him to be set apart, so He had Joshua circumcise all the men. In verse 9, after they were circumcised, God said, “Today I have rolled away the shame of your slavery in Egypt.” In the Bible, Egypt has been a reference to sin. Here God has led them out of the wilderness that shame had held them in and rolled it away. His plan for you and for me is to roll away the shame that holds us back from the Promised Land He is calling us to.

Isaiah 54:4 says, “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood.” You no longer have to live in shame because God has cast it off you! When your sins have been forgiven, your disgrace is gone. Don’t continue to let shame have power over you once God has rolled it away. There is power in confession to God and healing in confession to people. You don’t have to shout your sin from the rooftops to everyone, but you do need someone to confide in if you’re going to get shame off you. Come out of the wilderness and into the land flowing with milk and honey that shame is keeping from you.

Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash

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April 5, 2022 · 5:53 AM

Escaping The Prison Of Shame

My friend and I were discussing shame last week and all the effects it has on believers. It’s a mental prison that incarcerates too many people. So many of us remember our past vividly, even though we’ve been forgiven of it and set free from it. Our enemy uses the shame of what we’ve done to tell us that we’re not qualified or worthy to be a Christian or to do any ministry. He tells us, “If they knew what you’ve done, they wouldn’t be so nice to you.” When those mental attacks come, many of us go running back to what we’ve been set free from or we run into the prison of shame. This is not God’s plan for you.

The book of Exodus chronicles the children of Israel leaving Egypt. God set them free from their slavery and off they went marching through the Red Sea. They were making great progress until they experienced the mental attacks in the desert. Over and over they were held captive by their past because they romanticized their prison. Numbers 14:4 says, “So they said to one another, ‘Let’s choose a leader and go back to Egypt!’” (GNT) Even though that had been set free, they were willing to give up the promises God had given them and return to slavery. That’s exactly what shame does. It makes us turn from God, the one who can help us, and desire the thing He’s set us free from.

Galatians 5:1 says, “At last we have freedom, for Christ has set us free! We must always cherish this truth and firmly refuse to go back into the bondage of our past” (TPT). You have been set free and forgiven from your past. It is your testimony, not your shame. We overcome by the word of our testimony. Don’t let the enemy keep you quiet, cause you to be ineffective or have you return to it. The truth is that if others knew what you’ve been set free from, their faith in God would grow, others who are fighting that battle would have courage to trust God and you will possess the promised land. You have been miraculously set free! Walk in your freedom and refuse to return to the prison of your past.

Photo by Denis Oliveira on Unsplash

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April 28, 2021 · 5:53 AM

Failing God

Growing up, when I heard the verse, “Be ye holy as I am holy,” I interpreted that as, “Be ye perfect as I am perfect.” It didn’t take long for me to realize perfection was impossible. I would fail, beat myself up for not being holy, feel shame, repent and repeat. I stayed in that cycle for a while because I didn’t understand that verse, I didn’t understand grace and I didn’t understand know how to trust what had been done for me on the cross. I’m not saying I understand them fully now, but I do have a better grasp of them. I haven’t even figured out how not fail, but I have figured out how to trust God more when I do. I’ve learned He’s not up there waiting for me to fail so He can banish me to Hell forever. Instead, like a father, He’s cheering me on, picking me up when I fall, dusting me off and encouraging me to try again.

One of the things that helped me break the cycle was having a teacher break down Romans 7 and 8 for me. He had me circle all the I’s, me’s, myself’s and my’s in Romans 7. When I did, the page was covered in circles. Then he had me read verse 24. It said, “What an agonizing situation I am in! So who has the power to rescue this miserable man from the unwelcome intruder of sin and death?” (TPT) He then had me do the same thing in chapter 8, except I circled all the spirit’s, God’s, Christ’s and Jesus’. Again, the page was covered in circles. He then had me read verse 4. It said, “So now every righteous requirement of the law can be fulfilled through the Anointed One living his life in us. And we are free to live, not according to our flesh, but by the dynamic power of the Holy Spirit!” He then said, “It’s not up to you. Quit trying to live this life on your own. Trust God’s grace and let His Spirit lead you.”

All my favorite people in the Bible failed miserably, and sometimes often. The psalmist wrote, “Lord, so many times I fail; I fall into disgrace. But when I trust in you, I have a strong and glorious presence protecting and anointing me. Forever you’re all I need! (Psalms 73:26)” Being a Christian isn’t about being perfect. It’s about learning to trust God’s grace and being Spirit led. He’s given us the tools we need to follow where He leads, we just need to use them. When we fail and fall into disgrace, know that He’s not angry with you. He’s there ready to help you up, to forgive you and to surround you with His presence. Keep trusting in Him, learn to listen to the Holy Spirit and quit listening to the voice of condemnation. Romans 8:1 reminds us that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. That’s a reminder for you as a Christian when you fail. This life isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about learning to trust a perfect and holy God.

Photo by Nathan Cowley from Pexels

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October 1, 2020 · 5:30 AM

Evicting Shame

Have you ever had someone in your life who constantly reminds you of your past mistakes? Sometimes it’s a spouse, a friend or a family member, and sometimes it’s your own voice in your head. They seem to bring them up at the most inopportune moment. No matter what you do, because of them, it’s like you can never move on. You’d like to move on and forget it ever happened, but they’re there to make sure you never forget. It’s difficult to move forward when you’re constantly looking backwards. Your past becomes like a ball and chain that impedes your progress.

That’s what shame does. I believe many of us live with it constantly holding us back. “No one will accept you if they knew about… You can’t go back to church now. You’ve been gone too long. You don’t deserve to be happy. How can you call yourself a Christian?” Shame is a master manipulator who hits below the belt in an effort to kill our desire for growth. Understand this: SHAME IS NOT FROM GOD! These voices and thoughts are not God speaking to you. He loves you and wants you to succeed and grow and move forward. He wants to set you free from shame, and it starts with you refusing to listen to that voice.

I love Zephaniah 3:17. It says, “The LORD your God is in your midst, A Warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with joy; He will be quiet in His love [making no mention of your past sins], He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy” (AMP). God is a warrior who is fighting for you to win this battle. He loves you and doesn’t bring up your forgiven past. He rejoices over you and delights in you because you are His child. That’s who God is. It’s time to kick the voice of shame to the curb and to embrace God’s voice. Anytime those other thoughts come in, push them out. Don’t entertain them. Open your Bible and replace them with what God really says. You are forgiven. You are accepted. You are loved.

Photo by Aditya Saxena on Unsplash

Throwback Thursday is a feature I’m using to help build some margin into my schedule to pursue other ventures. Each Thursday I’ll be bringing you a previously written devotional that still speaks encouragement to us from God’s Word.

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September 26, 2018 · 5:51 AM

Evicting Shame

Have you ever had someone in your life who constantly reminds you of your past mistakes? Sometimes it’s a spouse, a friend or a family member, and sometimes it’s your own voice in your head. They seem to bring them up at the most inopportune moment. No matter what you do, because of them, it’s like you can never move on. You’d like to move on and forget it ever happened, but they’re there to make sure you never forget. It’s difficult to move forward when you’re constantly looking backwards. Your past becomes like a ball and chain that impedes your progress.

That’s what shame does. I believe many of us live with it constantly holding us back. “No one will accept you if they knew about… You can’t go back to church now. You’ve been gone too long. You don’t deserve to be happy. How can you call yourself a Christian?” Shame is a master manipulator who hits below the belt in an effort to kill our desire for growth. Understand this: SHAME IS NOT FROM GOD! These voices and thoughts are not God speaking to you. He loves you and wants you to succeed and grow and move forward. He wants to set you free from shame, and it starts with you refusing to listen to that voice.

I love Zephaniah 3:17. It says, “The LORD your God is in your midst, A Warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with joy; He will be quiet in His love [making no mention of your past sins], He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy” (AMP). God is a warrior who is fighting for you to win this battle. He loves you and doesn’t bring up your forgiven past. He rejoices over you and delights in you because you are His child. That’s who God is. It’s time to kick the voice of shame to the curb and to embrace God’s voice. Anytime those other thoughts come in, push them out. Don’t entertain them. Open your Bible and replace them with what God really says. You are forgiven. You are accepted. You are loved.

Photo by Radu Florin on Unsplash

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May 1, 2014 · 7:43 AM

Living On “E”

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This morning I almost had to do the walk of shame. You know the one when your car runs out of gas and you have to walk to the gas station. As you can see from the photo, I was below the “E”. I was running late last night getting home from work. There was no time to stop because we had to be at church minutes after I got home. So I passed several gas stations knowing I needed gas because the other priorities were more important. You might be thinking that getting gas in the tank is the highest priority, and you’re right.

If it is the highest priority then why do we wait so long to fill up? The same thing happens to us spiritually. We run on empty until we are almost out and then we go fill up. I know when I fill up my car, there isn’t much to worry about. I can concentrate on the parts of driving that matter. When I’m on empty, I’m completely distracted looking at that indicator and wondering just how much further below the “E” it can go before I run out. I start looking for places to fill up. I start looking at every exit hoping to see a sign. I even start to panic a little.

The same thing happens in our spiritual life. When we are full, we don’t have a care in the world. We concentrate on living our lives the way a God wants, there aren’t many distractions and we put on cruise control with no worries. Sooner or later, we need a refill though. We miss a few Sundays at church, we get too busy to read our Bible and sleep through our prayer time. Things in our life start coming apart. We start looking for God to help us. We need Him to fill us up. People around us need our help, but we are too distracted on empty to notice.

It’s tough living like that, but so many times that how we live. We spend our lives running on empty. We rarely take the time to get full. We might get a quarter of a tank here and a quarter there, but we never get full. It boils down to priorities. You might be thinking that getting has in your spiritual tank is the highest priority, and you’re right. It is, but we don’t treat it as such. We let other things in our lives take over until we run out. When we reach that point where we can’t go on, we get stuck.

My father in law has a different approach to gas. He never let’s his tank get below half. If he gets to half, he says he’s on empty. We can all adopt this approach spiritually. Recognize when you’re no longer full and make it your priority to read God’s Word. Cut out something in your day so you can pray without distractions. Push back those plans so you can attend church. If you don’t make it a priority, everything else will take it’s place and you’ll end up distracted on “E”. We’ve already agreed that filling up is the highest priority. Look at your tank today. What do you need to do to fill up?

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June 24, 2013 · 6:56 AM

The Power of Restoration

I got a call this weekend from someone who was going through a rough patch and succumbed to temptation. They reached out to me and a couple of others for help. One of the others and I went to meet them to offer guidance and next steps. It would have been easy to go over there, beat them on the head with a Bible and ask a lot of “why” questions. That’s not how God says we should handle these situations though.

As I drove over there, The Lord took me to Galatians 6:1 that says, “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path.” My mind changed from all the “how could you” questions to the “how can I help you” questions. I moved away from the accusatory mindset that saw all the steps leading to sin to one that was there to show the path to forgiveness.

The Lord had spoken the same thing to my friend who went with me. He opened up the conversation with, “We’re here to help you, not to condemn you.” He went to Romans 13:12 that says, “So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living.” We explained that there is not one of us who is perfect. None of us go without sinning. What sets us apart is that we remove those sins and step back into God’s light.

I read Proverbs 24:16 that says, “The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.” I explained that if we’re not able to get up on our own, we should do what they did and call others to help them. I reiterated that we were not there to hold them down, but to offer a helping hand up. I’m sure they had already beat themselves up over it and that the Holy Spirit had convicted them. The problem was that they didn’t know the way back to the right road.

I’ve been thinking all weekend about how many people fall and just stay down because they don’t know how to reach out for help or are just too embarrassed to. I’ve been there. I was ashamed and embarrassed because I knew better. I didn’t want to admit that I had messed up and gone in the wrong direction. I didn’t want to let others know that I didn’t have the strength to get back up and that it was easier to just stay down. Thankfully someone saw me there and offered a hand to get me back up.

Who do you know right now that has fallen? Have you gone to them and offered a helping hand or just talked about them to others? Our command is clear. We are to go and restore someone in that condition. We are to pray with them and give them the tools and safeguards they need to keep them from falling again. When they fall, go and put your arm around them and walk with them. Isn’t that how you would want to be treated if it were the other way around?

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