In 2003 I was going through the toughest time of my life. I was going through a divorce, my business was failing and my life was falling apart. I had three people who showed up daily during that time. My brother would call several times a day to check in on me and encourage me. A coworker friend would come over each morning to force me out of bed and make me go to work. A friend from church would then come over in the evenings to sit with me. He said, “I’ve never been married nor have I owned a business so I can’t really relate. However, I know you don’t need to be alone.” Those three saved my life and kept me going. They showed me the power of friendship and why we need them.
During that period, I read the book of Job a lot. One of my favorite parts was in Job 2. He had three friends who had heard about the loss he had experienced and showed up to see him. When they saw him, they identified with his grief and began to grieve with him. Verse 11 says, “Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words” (NLT). Their presence was needed more than their platitudes. Sometimes people need you just to sit with them instead of searching for a solution or any advice you might give. Sitting in silence when suffering is too great for words often does more good than anything. Friends show up even when they don’t know what to say or do.
Proverbs 18:24 says, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (NIV) Friends who stick closer than a brother show up and help carry a weight that’s greater than words. We all need friends like this, but we also need to be this kind of friend to someone. Life will always have hard times and bring moments too great for words. It’s in those moments when the godly friends mentioned in this verse rise to the top and show up. They refuse to let someone walk alone. We can’t afford to have unreliable friends nor can we be an unreliable friend. There’s too much at stake. Check in, show up and be present in someone’s life. You never know when you will need a close friend too.
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