Tag Archives: what defines you

Redefining Yourself

Have you ever thought about what you want to be defined by? I hear people say what they don’t want to be defined by. I’ve heard it said that you are defined by the qualities and values that you exhibit. I’ve spent time thinking about the core values I want to live by and also the qualities I want to exhibit. Some come naturally and others I have to work at. I first started thinking about these in the sixth grade when a teacher told me the proverb that says a good name is rather to be chosen than great riches. I decided then that I wanted a good name. I thought about what it takes to have a good name. I’ve also found out how hard it is to keep one. As I looked at other people, I recognized qualities in them and decided I wanted those in my life. I’ve also found Biblical ones I needed to adopt.

Proverbs 3:3 says, “Do not let mercy and kindness and truth leave you [instead let these qualities define you]; Bind them [securely] around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart” (AMP). I think it’s important that this verse leads with mercy. This is one that doesn’t come naturally to most of us. It’s the quality of giving forgiveness to someone who has offended or wronged you. When I think of mercy, I think of Joseph. His brothers beat him up, threw him into a pit and sold him into slavery. When they came looking for grain, he was in a position to pay them back, but chose mercy instead. He understood God’s plan was to get him there to save his family rather than to pay them back.

The next one mentioned is kindness. This is a fruit of the Spirit that again isn’t natural for most of us. I think of King David when he found Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth. Instead of killing off the last king’s family line, David gave him a permanent seat at his table. Truth is critical in the life of a believer as well. We need truth because Jesus is the Truth. It is also what sets people free. When our lives are marked by truth, we take freedom with us to whomever we meet. What a thing to be defined by! All three of these are powerful, and Solomon told us to bind them around our neck and write them on our heart. The neck represented our human will. He’s telling us me must override that with these. To write them on our heart makes them become part of who we are. Don’t let your past or your flesh to define you anymore. Choose these instead. It’s never too late to redefine the things that define you.

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Defining Qualities

In the last month, I’ve been to two funerals for men I’ve known, both of whom lived to 88. At each funeral, family got up to speak and share stories. Some stories made you laugh and others were very sentimental. In each case, people shared about what mattered to these men. They told of their defining characteristics and values that they lived by. They then shared how these defining characteristics shaped their own lives. I began to think how each of these men influenced my life. I also began to think of my core values and my defining characteristics. What would people say mine are? Are mine influencing others to live out godly characteristics? We all have defining characteristics that we live by and are known by. Are we intentional about those?

I love the story of Ruth in the Bible. We learn very quickly that her husband, brother in law and father in law all died leaving three women behind. Her mother in law, Naomi, decided to leave the country they had moved to and return home. Since her daughters in law were from the foreign country, she asked them to stay. This is where we begin to see what Ruth was made of. Her loyalty to her mother in law kept her by Naomi’s side. Her kindness showed through when she began to glean the fields for food for them. She showed how courageous she was by leaving her culture behind and adopting a new one. Her defining characteristics attracted a man of character himself. Boaz was an influential person because of his character and honesty. They could have bypassed their values several times, but their character wouldn’t let them do it. Because of that, not only are they mentioned in the Bible, they are in the family tree of Jesus.

Their great, great grandson Solomon wrote in Proverbs 3:3, “Do not let mercy and kindness and truth leave you [instead let these qualities define you]; Bind them [securely] around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart” (AMP). The defining qualities they lived by were passed down generationally. As you think about your own defining qualities and characteristics, are mercy, kindness and truth part of them? If not, it’s not too late to make them part of your life. Old qualities and characteristics are hard to break, but not impossible. That’s why Solomon tells us to tie them around our neck and write them on our heart. We can change what defines us and how we live through the power of the Holy Spirit. We no longer have to be defined by our past. God has given you new life and new characteristics to live by. Ask Him to help you live in such a way that these define you instead of your old life.

Photo by Aravind Vijayan on Unsplash

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