Tag Archives: worried about my past

A Seat At The Table

I’m a pretty self confident person normally. I can be in most situations and feel like I can hold my own. However, when I went to my first executive meeting at a major corporation, I got my confidence wrecked. The guy presenting before me couldn’t defend his projections for the next quarter. The higher ups questioned him and exposed him like nothing I had ever seen. He ended up getting tears in his eyes and shut down in front of everyone. They turned to me and said, “Next!” I don’t remember what I said or how I got through it, but that meeting left a mark. Every time after that, when I walked into a board room with a giant table full of suits sitting at it, I felt like I didn’t belong there. I became quiet and meek. When they asked what I thought about something, inside I wondered why they cared what little, old me cared about.

In 2 Samuel 9, King David asked if any of Jonathan’s relatives were still alive so that he could show kindness to them and to fulfill his promise to his best friend. They told him about Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth who became paralyzed when he was dropped as a child as they were on the run. David asked for him to be brought in. In those days, when a new king took over, they killed everyone who could possibly have a claim to the throne. Mephibosheth would have been second in line and was terrified to meet with David. When he arrived, David gave him all of Saul’s land and invited him to dine at the king’s table. In verse 8 Mephibosheth replied, “Who is your servant, that you should show such kindness to a dead dog like me?” (NLT) He didn’t feel like he belonged at that table, but he began to eat there anyway.

After Peter had denied Jesus three times, Jesus appeared to him and the other disciples on the Galilean seashore in John 12. He called out to them and when they arrived at shore, He invited them to come and dine. I’m sure Peter didn’t feel like he belonged at the Lord’s Table, but Jesus gently gave him the charge to feed His sheep. Just like Peter and Mephibosheth, we can feel unworthy to sit at the King’s table because of things we’ve done. We can try to minimize our status as King’s kids, but there is a place for you there. Jesus is reminding us like He did Peter that it’s His righteousness that we wear, not our own. No matter what you’ve done, once it’s covered by His blood, it’s gone and there’s a seat waiting for you. Don’t shy away from God’s Table. Don’t feel you’re not enough to be there. You have been raised to new life and have been given a new nature and are clothed with a robe of Christ’s righteousness now. Don’t hold back. Come and dine. You have a seat at the table.

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

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Moving Toward Your Destiny

Photo by Ayanna Johnson on Unsplash

I spend a lot of time thinking about the future. Not just the future, my future and the plans God has for me. I wonder when the dreams and plans He has for me will happen. I try to make plans and prepare myself for the things He wants to do through me. Then there are times when I think about my past. I think about the ugly details and can’t help but wonder if my past is the thing keeping me from the future God has for me. It’s easy to look behind me and then mentally disqualify myself. It’s usually in those moments I hear the still small voice say, “You can’t undo my calling on your life. Just keep being faithful in the little things.”

Peter is a disciple we like to pick on, but his faith enabled him to do things that were written about. There were moments when he had great revelation and times when Jesus rebuked him openly. Jesus once told Him that He would use him as the foundation to build His Church on. Yet Peter is also the person who denied even knowing Jesus. I’m sure he wrestled with the same thoughts I do. Had he messed up so badly that God changed His plan him? That’s why I love that Jesus imparted the blessing to him by asking Peter if he loved Him. When Peter said yes, Jesus comforted him and told him that the deal was still on by telling him to feed His sheep. His past didn’t matter. His heart did.

Psalm 139:5 says, “You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past. With your hand of love upon my life, you impart a blessing to me” (TPT). Man looks on the outward appearance of things looking to disqualify ourselves or someone else from their calling, but God looks at our heart and the plans He has for us. He prepares the way and opens the doors for us. He uses the mistakes of our past, no matter how bad they were, to help us reach broken people with authenticity. He speaks His blessings of approval over us like He did for Peter. Do you love Him? Then go do what He’s called you to do. Quit worrying about all these other things and focus on your love for Him. He’s already prepared your way, so get moving on it toward your destiny.

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