Ten years ago today a friend and employee of mine died in a car crash. The crash killed her husband and daughter as well. Her two year old son survived, but was handicapped by the wreck and was in the hospital for a long time. Their deaths would be the first domino that would fall in my life and set off a chain reaction that wouldn’t stop until October of that same year.
While I would spend my spare time visiting their son in the ICU in downtown Houston, my wife would use her newly found free time to indulge deeper into a relationship she had started at work. I would then be brought into a custody battle for the son of my deceased friend and have to testify about people I had known for years. It was uncomfortable and not what I wanted. Not long after the custody battle I discovered my wife’s affair. That sent me deeper in depression.
One domino after another seemed to fall. While dealing with that, the landlord where I had my business decided not to renew my lease. The places where I kept trying to sign leases kept falling through. I finally found a place, but it would take a while to renovate. When I was almost done, the city inspector came in and made me tear it all down and start over. More money was lost. Time and energy that I didn’t have were being drained.
I had to take on a partner to help get the job done. While we were redoing everything, the IRS came and wanted back taxes I couldn’t pay. They threatened to take everything. The partner took over the business, but not my debts. The creditors called, knocked and harassed like they do. I ended up filing bankruptcy and losing everything. I started making half what I was and couldn’t afford my house or car. In October, my divorce was finalized and the last domino had fallen. I was tired, depressed and hopeless.
It took me a while before I started picking up the pieces of my life and began to put it back together. There aren’t many people actively involved in my life now who were there then. Everything in my life was turned over including friends. My life is not perfect, but I can tell you I’m a long way from where I was ten years ago. God has done some amazing things in my life and has restored to me more than what I lost. Enough had happened to me that I could have spent the rest of my life bitter, angry and depressed. I had every right to.
That’s not how God wants us to respond to adversity though. Those times in our lives build endurance. They build character. They leave scars and deep wounds too. I’m ten years out and I still break down when I think about the pain I suffered. It’s still real. I also am humbled when I look back and see that God never left me during that time. Even though I couldn’t see Him or feel Him then, I see now that He was working everything out for my good.
You may be going through a lot worse today. I don’t know. What I do know is that God has not left you nor has He forsaken you. Don’t believe the lies that He left you alone to struggle as the dominos in your life fall. He is creating something beautiful in your life and is preparing you for what’s ahead. Don’t give up or quit because you think there is no end to the falling dominos. They will stop at some point and you’ll find God at the end where He is waiting to build again.
Discover more from Devotions by Chris Hendrix
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Devotions by Chris Hendrix 
Thanks for sharing your story. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. great reminder
LikeLike
Amen. It takes us getting to our weakest before we truly realize His strength. I now try to live and operate only through His strength.
LikeLike
Wow, Chris that is a powerful example of the domino effect! As I wrote in one of my posts, there really is no such thing as “a trial” because one trial leads to another so we’re fighting several battles at once. My illness led to my having to resign from work, which led to financial problems and on and on it goes – as you discovered. Great post; thanks for being honest and open.
BTW; do you live in the Houston area?
LikeLike
Thanks for your input. I’m sure you know more than anyone the need to rely on God’s strength. I’ve had to learn to block the enemy’s voice when He says, “God has abandoned you. You are alone in this.” Perspective has shown me otherwise.
Yes, I live on the north side of Houston.
LikeLike
You’re right; we must believe God’s word (“I will NEVER leave you…”) over our emotions – especially in trials.
I live near Lake Conroe.
LikeLike
Wow! Small world. I live in Conroe too.
LikeLike
That’s funny (ironic) that we live so close. We actually live on the north end of the lake, Willis. We go to the Ark. Where do you go to church?
LikeLike
I go to Conroe First on League Line. I helped Pastor Alan start the Ark. When he tells the story of coming to Conroe and starting church in a daycare, it was my daycare. Great church and pastor.
LikeLike
May your friend rest in peace Chris. How awesome is it that this is his 10th year anniversary to be in Heaven?
What I realize is that the people that go thru life experiences have a gift. For example I have a client that her husband pass away 3 years ago from a brain tumor. I told her if she realize what great gift God gave her. She told me to explain, and I said the gift is that she can help someone that is going thru that same situation. She made it thru, now she has the ability to show others how. Gifts like that are not bought nor lend. I believe Gifts like those are giving by God to help one another. The more life struggles I go thru the more I thank God for the valuable gifts and wisdom he has giving me.
LikeLike
Thanks for sharing, Alonso. You’re right, they are a gift and are intended to be used by God for His purpose. When we get through blaming Him and shut up and listen like Job had to in Job 40:1,2, then we can see God’s mercy. It took someone telling me not to hide the scars before I was able to confront them and share them. Now I know my story can bring hope and healing to others.
LikeLike
Chris this is so amazing! Thank you for alway’s encouraging us. I too have been there as you know and it is hard, but praise God he does walk with us and give’s us the strength to keep on going. Unshakable strength I know who you are and you are my hero! I know first hand, remember my twin brother Perry had ALS, the trial’s you experience everyday and you are so remarkable! I love what God has enabled you to do and live to see. You have beautiful, God-filled daughter’s that I keep up with on fb, and Mary is an angel, something I’m sure you know all to well. Thank you both unshakable faith and Chris for being two wonderful Godly men we can all look up too! God bless you both!
LikeLike
Thanks, Kerri. I remember watching you walk through that too. It was right before my dominos started to fall. You too are a trophy of grace and strength that God had brought through difficult circumstances. Continue trusting Him.
LikeLike
We must have all been sitting at the same domino table. So glad we all have each other. The body of Christ is a beautiful thing.
LikeLike
Kerri! It’s so good to hear from you. This is so ironic! I just emailed Mary to tell her about this “coincidence.” I guess this is a good domino effect, Chris and Kerri:-)
LikeLike
Yes it is. I’ve known Kerri for around 20 years!
LikeLike
Our girls went to Lifestyle, that’s how we know Kerri.
LikeLike
Wow! I graduated from lifestyle. I went there for 7 years. I may know your kids.
LikeLike
I think our girls are younger than you; our oldest is 24, Lauren and Leah Sweeney.
LikeLike
: )
LikeLike
I taught Lauren and Leah in Kindergarten. : ) I remember you and read your posts that Lauren shares. I also have known Chris and Kerri forever I think. We’ve definitely all had our dominoes. Y’all know I love you. God is good!
LikeLike
Powerful post! You are so right – you had the right to be angry and bitter but you chose to be right with God over being right. It is the difficult times we learn to rely and trust Him and see Him working in our lives. Thanks for sharing your story – may the Lord continue to bless you and others through your words.
Romans 5:3-5
3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
LikeLike
Thank you! That verse is my cling to scripture. I read it often and share it with others when they are facing difficult times.
LikeLike