I was recently training a sales psychology class, and I got to the point where I revealed to the class their individual psychological reluctances. I explained that some were gained through heredity, some medically, and others through watching others. I challenged them to go back to the root of the issue in order to deal with it. One person immediately said, “I know were this one came from! I can pinpoint the moment.”
He told me he had Role Rejection, which is the struggle to admit to others you work in sales. He said, “Several years ago, my mom said, “When are you going to get a real job? You have a degree. Go use it.” Those words cut straight to his core and he buried them there. Even if he made close to $100,000 a year and his degree would earn about half that, he would feel inferior because of what his mom told him.
I said to him, “Isn’t it incredible how powerful words are? One sentence your mom said years ago has affected how your career and how you see yourself. We have to be careful when choosing our words. We never know which ones will stick in someone’s life and hold them back.” We have to learn to use our words to encourage and build others up. Proverbs 15:4 says, “A soothing tongue [speaking words that build up and encourage] is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue [speaking words that overwhelm and depress] crushes the spirit” (AMP).
We all need to add in a filter into our brain that asks, “Will these words become a tree of life in them or will they crush their spirit?” When talking to our children, spouse, family or friends, we need to make sure we are planting life. There’s enough words out there spoken to them each day that can crush their spirit. Let’s be purposeful and make it a habit to have a soothing tongue that speaks life.