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Caring Enough To Correct

In college I started a Friday night event on my wing called “Midnight Monopoly”. It was a leisure outlet for those of us who didn’t work or have other entertainment to make fete of an otherwise boring evening. It was always a fun time.

One night two roommates joined the game; as we played, one made an innocent joke about the other. It was not received well, however, and the other guy spitefully and openly countered with the sharpest, crudest remark he could muster. Everyone quickly overlooked the comment, but I sat there appalled. I was the wing chaplain and decided to let it pass and confront the guy once the game ended.

In my room with him, I addressed the comment—how ugly and unchristian it was and expressed to his own roommate and spiritual brother. How could he say such a thing? I explained that he needed to apologize and simply repent. I wasn’t trying to be a dad, but it sure felt like it. The comment had offended and angered me.

Well he didn’t like it. He left abruptly and said nothing to me for two weeks—that is until a knock at my door one evening. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” He explained that he had thought very much about what I had said to him and felt convicted. He acknowledged his wrong and thanked me for having the courage to challenge him. He also stated that he had apologized to his roommate.

The Profitability of Correction

Proverbs 27:5-6 says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Challenging others is never easy, even when done lovingly. Some people let offenses and bad behavior go unchallenged rather than making folk accountable for them. But this is wrong and unloving.

It is a false conception to think we can become successful or mature individuals, even good Christians, if we fail to submit to correction. Accountability safeguards character by cultivating wholesome traits and challenging negative ones. A mode of accountability, correction is essential to personal growth and also God’s plan for us. Being non-teachable and prideful, however, causes us to miss valuable lessons and costs us in the end.

Hosea graphically expresses the need for correction and repentance: “Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us” (6:1-2, NASB). Here is the idea of purposely wounding, perhaps to set a fracture or to clean away infection.

And sometimes we don’t see that our lives have defect or fester with some sin. So seeking accountability is a positive and proactive move to ensure integrity and godliness. Moreover, godly reproof is a grace and sign of God’s ownership. We should welcome it and not resist it, lest we accept the charge of Hebrews 12:8—“you are not legitimate children at all.”

The wing mate I confronted serves the Lord today around the globe sharing the love of Jesus with orphans and the distressed. I consider what I did a small but necessary part of preparing him for the ministry he performs today.

What might we be leaving untended in the lives of others God is burdening us to correct? And are you asking the Lord to reveal the places in your life in need of correction? Just own enough humility whether you’re correcting or being corrected. It helps to remember Jesus’s words that we bear abundant fruit when we are pruned (John 15:2).

This guest post is from Mike Stephens. Mike is the author of “A ‘Mike’ for Christ“, a devotional blog featuring thoughtful, topical discussion and spiritual reflection.

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Detoured By God

When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road
through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said,
“If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.”
Exodus 13:17

God chose for His people to go through the desert. His path is not
always the direct route, but His detours are not without reason. We like
to plan our days, weeks, months, even our entire lives. We have a vision
of where we should be and how we should get there, but often our lives
don’t follow our plans. When you find yourself on a detour, look for God
and what He is doing. You may not get the promotion when you want, get
married or start a family on your timetable, but rest assured the Lord
your God has a plan for you and the detour you are on may be for your
own good. He didn’t want the Israelites to give up and return to Egypt
because He wanted the best for them. He wants the best for you too.

What is it God is protecting you from or trying to teach you on on your
detour?

This post is an excerpt from the devotional, “Deeply Rooted” by author Shelly Sorem. Shelly is a Bible teacher and international speaker. She has worked in children, youth and women’s ministries. She has spoken at women’s conferences and retreats around the world. She loves the Lord and has a passion for helping others grow in their faith. She has a bachelor of science in education and a master’s degree in counseling psychology. She currently lives in Texas with her husbands and two daughters.
Her website is www.deeplyrootedinhim.com

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Stuck In The Waiting

I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you
Which shall be the darkness of God.…
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.

-T. S. Eliot, “East Coker”

I read these words in Philip Yancey’s book “Disappointment with God”. I was going through a brutal spell in my life. If you’ve read the book, maybe it helped. But it didn’t help me. In fact it just made me feel worse for all the people referenced in the book as well as for myself.
Why do bad things happen to generally decent people? I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I’ll ever understand this side of heaven. It might be better if I stopped asking. But there are few things that haven’t escaped me. Maybe they were rungs on the ladder that kept me hitting rock bottom. Here they are:

I’m not in control. Even if I was, I don’t know what’s best for me.

It’s true – and actually this struck me when things were going well. What do you do when the things that happened by “chance” turned out better than your carefully laid plans? This had been the case a couple different times and while I was overwhelmed with gratitude, it eerily bothered me. When my tides turned, I realized that it goes both ways. In the end, I’m not God. I don’t know what’s best for me, I can’t see the big picture of God’s plan for me and I can’t control all the outcomes in my life. Living by faith means accepting both the good and the bad and realizing both are temporal. Accepting the fact that life isn’t fair helps too.

Take responsibility. Don’t sabotage myself.

If you’ve ever wondered if your life could get any worse, let me clear that up for you real quick. The answer is always yes. That may sound like a morbid thing to say, but the truth is that we’re always one decision away from making things much worse. And when things aren’t going well, we’re in the DANGER ZONE. Think about it: if you’re stuck in a crummy job, you are only one decision away from not having a job at all. If your marriage is going poorly, you are only one decision or one conversation away from a further setback. If you aren’t married and wish you were, you are one or several decisions away from creating a lot more misery for yourself and others.

It’s tempting to say that “God wills” my circumstances to be what they are and then act like a victim. But actually we’re usually our own worst enemy. Proverbs 19:3 says, “People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord” (NLT). When the chips are down, the temptation is even stronger to make foolish choices that add to our pain. We can’t always control our circumstances, but in every situation, we always have a choice of how to respond. And that means we have the responsibility to make a good choice, no matter how good or bad circumstances are.

Realize my pain will be able to be used in a positive way in the future.

If someone had said this to me when I was down, it would’ve brought me up real fast… swinging. That’s not what I wanted to hear. But unfortunately, not “just anyone” said these words. They came from Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, recounting his experiences as a Jewish prisoner in Auschwitz. They were also shared by psychologists to the survivors of the PanAm Flight 73 hijacking in 1986 as they prepared to board their next flight.
Those folks have “cred” in my book. I may not like the message, but I can take it coming from them. When I’m hurting, the last thing I want is “some perspective,” but even so, they’ve had far worse than me.

If you’re in pain, there is a sense in which you’re alone. Proverbs 14:10 says, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy” (NLT). No one else can walk your path for you and you may not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I couldn’t. When we’re stuck “in the waiting,” as Eliot’s poem says, we likely won’t be able to see the redemption in our circumstances. It’s only by faith that we can believe that this too shall pass.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach and thought leader. Visit him today at NathanMagnuson.com or follow him on Twitter.

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Your Faith Is Your Responsibility

Right now my phone is blowing up with pictures from all over of the lines people are standing in for the iPhone. With every launch, there seems to be this anticipation that people get so that they can have or see the newest device. Apple has been masterful at marketing and creating demand for their products. They have learned how to create demand like no other company. It’s always intriguing to me to see this.

It would be awesome to see people lined up outside of churches each Sunday in anticipation of this week’s message. It would be incredible if there was a huge demand for people to spend time with God. How would church be different if there was that kind of anticipation? What if we ourselves had that kind of anticipation to hear what God had to say to us? How would it change our lives? I don’t mean this piece to be a Jesus Juke. I’m asking myself these questions too.

I’m not suggesting we adopt a marketing strategy like Apple to get people in the door. I’m suggesting each of us who are believers get excited about God. If it’s a struggle for us week in and week out to go to church, how can we expect others to want to go? If the Bible seems boring to us, how can we expect others to be excited about it? If the thought of spending an hour in prayer (spending time with God) a day seems like a chore, why would we think anyone else would want to do it?

We keep looking at a pastor or priest to motivate us to be who God called us to be. That’s not their job. They are to reinforce what you get from God on a daily basis. What would your life look like if you only ate one meal a week? How hard would it be to survive and to do your job? Why do we think our spirit can survive on one meal a week given by someone else at a place we struggle to go to? Excitement about our faith starts with each one of us. Spiritual growth is our responsibility.

We keep looking for the church to grow and win the lost, but forget that we individually are the church. It’s our responsibility to grow the church, share our faith and win the lost. We expect the pastor to motivate us from God’s Word and never crack open the scriptures during the week. Our faith has to become exciting to us first before it can be exciting to others. We have to daily remind ourselves where we were heading, how we were feeling and what we were saved from if we want others to find what we’ve found. We can’t sit idly by knowing we’re saved without being concerned about others who aren’t.

How would your spiritual life be different if you anticipated going to church each Sunday instead of anticipating when the service will be over? How many of your friends and co-workers can see your excitement about what you believe? If they can’t, what needs to happen to reignite that flame? What do you need to do to make your faith grow and to come alive? It’s not someone else’s responsibility to get you excited about God and to motivate you to serve Him. It’s yours. It’s a daily task and I think that’s part of what Jesus meant when He told us to take up our cross daily, not just on Sunday.

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Test Day

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I’ve never really liked tests before even though I’m pretty good at them. Any time the word “test” comes up, I think of one of my high school teachers, Mr. Hart. He loved giving tests. He would wear a red contact lens, the ugliest tie he could find and eat a bag of chips while you were taking it. He’d ask, “Is this bothering you,” and then give an evil laugh. He’d ask questions that would earn you a Nobel Prize if you could answer them. His “bonus” questions came from movies like “Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail”. Maybe my memory has added to his legend, but that’s how I remember taking tests in his class.

I remember doing a lot of studying for tests to make sure I passed. I read back through the chapter, looked at my notes, made flash cards and quizzed other classmates to prepare. You knew the subject matter, but not what to expect on the test. As a person who played sports, there was extra pressure to pass since the “No Pass No Play” law had gone into effect. I wouldn’t have let myself down by failing, but my team too. So I put a lot of time and energy into making sure I knew the material.

All those memories came flooding back when I read what Paul wrote to the Corinthian church in II Corinthians 13:5-9. He said, “Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don’t drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. (MSG)”. Paul was saying to do with our faith what I did for tests in school. Read the book (Bible), look at notes (commentaries), make flash cards (memorize scripture) and quiz other classmates (have accountability partners to help you learn and grow).

Just like we had to prepare for what Mr. Hart might throw at us, we need to be prepared for what might challenge our faith. Times of testing shouldn’t come as a surprise to us. They shouldn’t scare us either if we’ve prepared beforehand. If you can read this, you’ve lived enough life to know that you’re going to be tested. If you’re a Christian, you should know your faith will be tested. It’s not so that you will fail, but to make sure you know what you believe. When I give tests at work, I jokingly call them “celebrations of knowledge” to relieve the stress. I’m not trying to get you to fail, I’m trying to showcase how much you’ve learned.

God does that with us too. He’s not up there trying to see if you’ll fail when He tests you. He’s wanting to show you how much you’ve learned and what you need to work on. Paul understood this and encouraged us to test ourselves ahead of time so we could pass with flying colors. When we do that, we won’t take our faith for granted or drift along. We’ll know what we believe, be able to confidently speak God’s Word when the enemy comes against us and live out our faith with a purpose and a passion. What will you do today to prepare for the testing of your faith?

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Fixing Your Life

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As I was pulling out of the parking lot at work yesterday, I felt God tell me to go the opposite direction that I should have. So I turned left instead of right. About a block away I saw a young lady trying to change her tire. I pulled up beside her and asked if she needed help. She was clearly frustrated and said, “At this point, I don’t think I can turn down help.” She had been trying to place the jack under the car in order to raise it up. She had it in position, but was having trouble turning the knob that lifted the jack.

I looked over at the styrofoam block that contained her jack and noticed there was an empty hole where the jack bar was supposed to be. I asked her where that was, but she didn’t know. I tried once or twice turning the knob by hand, but didn’t have the required strength to do it. I went to my car, got the jack out of it, slid it under her car and quickly raised it. In no time her spare was on and we were both able to head out. Having the right tool made all the difference.

I started thinking that’s how life is. When we get stranded on the side of life’s road broken down, we get frustrated trying to fix it without the right tools. We don’t try to flag anyone down to help us until we’re at the end of our rope. This lady had tried to call family members, but no one answered when she called. She didn’t know what else to do, but to keep trying even though it didn’t make sense. In the end, she was tired, worn out, upset and ready to give up.

I’ve been there in life. I lacked the strength and tools to make the changes necessary to get my life back on the road and moving again. I laid down in my living room and cried out to God, “I can’t do it! I don’t know how!” He met me there and said, “Finally.” I thought it was a strange response. He said, “Finally you’ve given up trying to do this in your own strength. Now try doing it in my strength. My strength is made perfect in your weakness.” I had to come to the realization that we weren’t made to handle all the troubles and cares of this life on our own. He told us over and over in His Word to cast our cares and burdens on Him, but we don’t get it.

He has the tools necessary to fix your life when you don’t. He has the strength needed to pick you up when you don’t. He has always given us the choice to continue struggling on our own or to rely on His strength. It’s just a matter of when each one of us makes the realization for ourselves that we need Him to help us. It took a while for me to learn how to walk in His strength. I’m still learning, but I’m getting better at calling out to Him sooner for help. What will it take to get you to the point where you can’t turn down His help?

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Out Of The Hole

It’s hard for me to believe that next week I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of the lowest point of my life. I know it seems odd to celebrate such an event, but for me, it was a turning point in my life. It was the moment when I refused to go any lower than I was and made the decision that I would claw my way out of the hole that I was in no matter how much effort it took and no matter how long it took. I’m still clawing my way out of that hole, but now I’m starting to see daylight.

Ten years ago, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. There was no hope of ever recovering from what I had been through. I was hurt, embarrassed and alone. Sure I had a few friends around me, but no one truly knew the depth of my pain or what I was struggling with. I made a conscious effort to never think about that time in my life. I felt that if I could pretend it was a bad dream, the pain would go away. I thought that if I never spoke of it again, then I could put it behind me.

I moved on with my life pretending that I hadn’t gone through a painful divorce, filed for bankruptcy, lost my business or ran away from those who cared most about me. I figured that the best way out was to start my life over fresh and new as if none of it never happened. The problem was it did happen. Underneath everything I was still a mess inside. I was still hurt to the core. I was mad at God for letting me walk through that. I was mad at others thinking my failures were somehow their fault. It all boiled down to bad decision making by me.

Once I was able to take responsibility for the things that happened, I began to move forward. It’s not easy to look in the mirror when you know the pain inside is caused by the person looking back at you. I know other people played roles in delivering the punches that knocked me down, but I made the decisions that put them there and put myself in that position. I left myself open for the gut shots that took the wind out of my desire to live or move on.

I hid the pain for over seven years as I moved on with life. It was then that God spoke to me through Dave Roever that I needed to expose the wounds and face them head on. Since that time, I have begun to share my story being open and honest about what happened. I have found healing for the wounds that were so deep. I still feel the pain like I did every time I open them up, but I know that through my wounds others can find help, hope and healing for theirs.

I don’t know what you’re facing today, but I know what it’s like to hit rock bottom and feel like there’s no way out. I know what it’s like to think that there’s only one way out of the pain and anger. I can tell you that there is another way out. I found it. It was through forgiving myself and others who hurt me. It was in finding forgiveness through Jesus for the unthinkable wrongs I’d committed. It was over the course of years, hard work, dedication and never giving up. If I can make it out of that hole, you can too.

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Religious Roadblocks

Last night a tree fell across the road to our house. It had snapped about 15 feet up and part of it was still attached so it wasn’t an easy removal. We called for the county to send out a crew to remove it. About 30 minutes later, a truck pulled up and a man got out. I thought, “How is one person going to move this?” He walked all the way around the debris looking at it, thought about the best way, grabbed a chain, wrapped it around the fallen trunk, tied the other end to his bumper and tried pulling it off the road and from its connected trunk.

It did not easily separate from the base. It took several attempts of squealing wheels on the pavement to finally break it free. He kept driving once he had momentum and drug it off the road. He took a chainsaw and cut off any branches that were sticking out towards the road. We cleaned up the debris that was on the road and then took a look at the bare trunk that was still standing. It was clear that it was hollowed out. From the outside, it looked healthy and vibrant, but on the inside it was hollow and rotten.

It reminded me of the religious Pharisees in Jesus’ day. They blocked the roads of others with unrealistic rules in the name on religion. They appeared to be the only ones who could uphold these rules so they looked down on others. There was no real way anyone could fully live according to all the rules they had subjected the people too. They took what God intended as a way to communicate with people and put up road blocks separating them further from Him.

Jesus saw them for what they were and it made Him angry. In Matthew 23:27 He said, “Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs – beautiful on the outside, but filled with dead people’s bones.” They appeared to be healthy, but like that tree, they were hollow and dead inside. Nothing made Jesus more angry than people who traded a relationship with God for religion. Relationship with God is empowering because it creates communication with Him. Religion separates you from Him through shame and failure because there are rules you can’t follow.

Jesus came to restore the relationship that the rules of religion had severed. He was the one person God sent with the power and ability to remove the tree that was blocking our ability to get to Him. His desire was not to condemn through rules and regulations, but to save us through relationship. He was about empowering us to live godly lives not to shame us because we couldn’t live up to the standards of religion. The religious leaders hated Him for it. He took their power grabbing scheme and exposed it for what it was. They ended up killing Him because of it not realizing that when they did, they had cleared the path for relationship.

Have you viewed Christianity as a list of rules that you could never follow? Have you seen God as the king of thou shalt not’s? That’s not who He is. Man took what God intended to create relationship and put in rules that separate. If you’ve been separated from a relationship with God because you thought Christianity was about a bunch of rules, I encourage you to leave the religion behind and build a relationship with God through Jesus. It has been His intention to have a relationship with us since He created us. Get rid of the roadblocks of religion and embrace a relationship with Him today.

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A Church Full of Hypocrites

Sometimes I think we all forget that the church is made up by people like you and me. It’s full of imperfect people who, despite being forgiven of their past, still struggle to escape it. There are people who go, not because they are Christians, but because they think it’s good to go. There are people who go only because they want their children to be exposed to it. There are people who go in order to find absolution for something they’ve done that they can’t forgive themselves of.

There is no one perfect in any church. Not the pastor, preacher, priest, rabbi or person sitting next to you in the pew. Somehow, we expect them to be because they are Christians. We expect them to always say the right things, do the right things and to drop everything to pay attention to us. When that doesn’t happen, we label them hypocrites. We say the church is full of people who are fake. Yet, we don’t go look in the mirror and hold ourselves to that same perfect standard.

If the church was truly full of perfect people, why would anyone want to go there? I’m glad the church has hypocrites, liars and cheaters in it. That means that there are people there who know they don’t have it all together, but they know the place where they can go to get help. They recognize they don’t have all the answers so they go to the place where they can find some of the answers to their questions. The person up front doesn’t have all the answers either. They’ve just chosen to be an imperfect person who has submitted to being the one whom God could speak through.

So many of us have left churches or church all together because we’ve held an imperfect person to a perfect standard. It’s a standard that not even we ourselves could ever live up to. I’ve been on churches all over the world and I’ve yet to meet a person in one of them who ever claimed to be perfect or had the ability to always say the right thing. I’ve learned to cut people a lot of slack for things they have said or done that have offended me because I need that same grace from them. I say and do things that offend others too because I’m not perfect. The fact that I go to church doesn’t somehow prevent me from doing that.

This Sunday is “Back to Church Sunday”. If you’ve ever left the church because you were offended or held an imperfect person to a perfect standard just because they were a Christian, I want to invite you to go back this weekend with a different set of lenses on. Go in with eyes that recognize the people in there are just like you. They don’t have it all figured out, they might be hypocrites, they might be liars, but know that they’re there in order to change from those ways. Put aside your pride and offer them the same grace you want them to offer you.

I look forward to seeing you in church this Sunday. If you’re looking for someone who is perfect, you won’t find them. But if you’re looking for a friendly face on an imperfect person, I’ll save you a seat next to me. I hope that you’ll give church a second chance this weekend.

Click here for a short video that I saw earlier this week about “Back to Church Sunday” that I think you’ll like.

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Busy For God

Have you ever been rocked by a single question? There was a question asked last night that I’m still wrestling with the answer to. It was, “Are you just being busy for God or are you fulfilling your calling?” It’s a very humbling question. When you think about it, how much of what we do is just busy work and how much is truly fulfilling our calling? I believe each person has a calling on their life to do something. Each person was created unique for a reason only they can fulfill.

God is not pleased when we’re just being busy for Him. His desire is that each of us fulfill His calling for us. I think of Martha and Mary and how Jesus came to visit them. Luke 10:40 says, “Martha overly occupied and too busy was distracted with much serving. (AMP)” We can get to the point that our business for God becomes a distraction more than it is a help. Martha’s was serving Jesus, but that wasn’t her calling. She was busy, but not productive.

Another story from the Bible that came to mind was from I Samuel 14. Saul was outnumbered by the Philistines and wasn’t sure what to do. His son Jonathan got his armor bearer and decided to go attack the entire Philistine army themselves. While Saul prayed and acted busy for God, Jonathan went to fulfill his call. When Jonathan attacked, Saul and his men didn’t know what was happening. They took a count of everyone and found Jonathan was missing. Saul called decided to pray again while the battle raged. He finally joined his son once the Philistines were running.

We can use prayer to keep us from doing what God called us too. We can use serving in God’s house to be busy for God while running from our calling. There are a number of things we can use to be busy while not fulfilling our calling. Just because we don’t get in a boat and head the opposite direction like Jonah doesn’t mean we aren’t in the same boat as he is when we are busy doing things for God instead of doing what He told us.

I know it’s scary to think about what God called you to do. I know there’s lots of questions you have about how, when and where. Don’t get so scared of your calling that you hide behind being busy instead of following that call. God isn’t pleased with that. That’s not what you were created for. You will never be fulfilled in that role and you will grow weary. Chances are you won’t be very productive either. Martha wasn’t. She wanted Mary to leave her calling to come help her. She was busy serving, but not productive. Saul was busy praying, but not productive. Is serving important? Yes. Is praying important? Yes. But you can’t hide behind them when God said, “Go!”

What things are you using to be busy for God instead of fulfilling your calling? Are you truly fulfilled doing those things or do you feel like there’s more? You can serve in the house of God and still not fulfill what you were called to do. Remember there are others who are waiting on the other side of your obedience. They can’t move forward until you do. Leave those things that you’re using to be busy and start doing what you were made to do. No one else can do it because that’s why you were created. Live a fulfilled life by following your calling.

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