Tag Archives: accountability partner

April 29, 2025 · 5:57 AM

Confession And Restoration

In the late 80’s and early 90’s, I was in my teens. I remember vividly seeing prominent people in the faith succumb to sin and have to admit it publicly. There were famous ministers, TV preachers and even Christian’s singers who failed. I remember that Christians, for the most part, joined the world in tearing them down and shunning them. As is appropriate, they were removed from their ministry, but beyond that, they were shunned. Some went to prison, some to therapy and at least one became homeless. Watching their stories and how they were treated made me wonder if restoration was possible or if God could ever use them again. Then I wondered, “If I failed, could God still use me after I repented?”

In Judges 13-16, we read the story of Samson. He was called of God and set apart from before he was born to lead and deliver Israel. When he became a man, he was used by God to destroy Philistine towns and kill thousands of their people. However, fell in love with a Philistine woman named Delilah, which was against God’s rules on marrying pagan wives. She convinced him to give up the secret to his anointing and removed his hair. Chapter 16 verse 20 says, “He didn’t realize the Lord had left him” (NLT). He was publicly defeated, shamed and punished. Then at the end of the chapter, he prayed and asked God to use him again. His last act killed more of their enemies than at any other time in his life.

David was another prominent person who sinned and was called out. I love Psalm 51, which is his prayer for repentance. He asks God for mercy, to wash him clean of his guilt and to have a clean heart and a right spirit. Then verse 12 says, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.” After he faced his consequences, God not only restored that joy, but continued to use him. Stories like Samson and David show us that when we repent, God can still use us. We will face consequences for our actions, but God doesn’t give us a life sentence. If you’ve failed God, you must come clean, confess and repent. That’s the first step to having your joy restored and being used by God again.

Note: Every person mentioned here could have prevented their fall by being accountable to someone. Accountability is something we all need in our lives to help us walk upright with the Lord, whether we’re ministers or not. Find someone who you can trust to tell everything to so they can help you in your areas of weakness and temptation.

Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

April 7, 2021 · 5:44 AM

Removing Blind Spots

I remember taking Driver’s Ed. There came a time in the class where we took the instruction and put it into practice by driving around. When it was my turn to log some hours, he had me drive on the freeway for a while. There were times when he had to hit the brakes on his side of the car because I wouldn’t go slower than the speed of traffic. When I went to change lanes, the instructor asked me what I needed to check after I turned on my blinker. I replied, “My rear view and side mirror.” He then asked, “What else?” I shrugged. He told me I needed to look over my shoulder as well to check my blind spot. If I change lanes and hit a car, it’s my fault because I should have checked my blind spots. I’ve never forgotten those instructions.

We all have blind spots in our lives, and we all need instruction and correction too, but not all of us invite it into our lives. In Exodus 18, Moses’ father in law had heard all of the great things Moses had done for his people, so he went to meet him. The next day he saw Moses judging the people and how inefficient it was. After asking a few questions about it, he said, “Moses’ father-in-law said to him in Exodus 18:17-18, “The thing that you are doing is not good. You will certainly wear out both yourself and these people who are with you, because the task is too heavy for you [to bear]; you cannot do it alone” (AMP). He gave Moses a better way to do it. Instead of responding, “I’m in charge here and don’t need your help,” Moses listened to the counsel, received the instructions and accepted the correction. How do you respond when someone does that to you?

Proverbs 19:20 says, “Listen to counsel, receive instruction, and accept correction, that you may be wise in the time to come.” Counsel is an outside perspective that helps guide us so we don’t hit things, or people, in our blind spots. Instruction is someone else telling us how do something we often think we know how to do. Correction is being told we’re in the wrong. All three are often hard to receive because of our pride. If we’re willing to put aside our pride, and invite these three things into our life with an open heart and mind, we will achieve far more than we ever could without it. We will also have better relationships with the people around us because we won’t be bumping into them in our blind spots as much. The key is for us to invite it into our lives or to accept it when someone else, including an in law, is offering it.

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

February 5, 2018 · 6:04 AM

Seeing Blind Spots

Several times a year my boss, or one of my peers, comes to observe me doing my job. They take notes on the things they see, and then at the end of the day we discuss what they saw. They usually start with the good behaviors they see, and remind me why those things matter. Then they move into areas where I didn’t execute very well. There are places where I could have been quicker, or that I could have skipped doing without realizing it. Then they make suggestions for my improved performance.

It’s difficult hearing other people’s input on my work, but it’s a necessary step for improvement. They are able to see things that I’m blind to. Sometimes I get caught up doing things the same way, over and over, because i don’t stop to ask, “Is this the best way to be doing that?” Having that outside set of eyes, not only sees those things, but it also gets input on how to do things better. Each of us have areas where we can get better in our lives and in our walk with the Lord.

When Moses had led the children of Israel out of Egypt, he automatically became their judge for disputes. Some times it would take up a whole day just trying to resolve disputes among the people. In Exodus 18, his father in law observed him and asked, “When Jethro saw everything that Moses had to do, he asked, “What is all this that you are doing for the people? Why are you doing this all alone, with people standing here from morning till night to consult you?” (GNT) He then provided him a more efficient way to help others.

As I said earlier, it’s not easy to hear someone else’s opinion on how they think you should be doing things, but I’ve found it helps me to improve. It’s good for each of us to have an accountability partner who can see the things we are blind to. It’s also important to give them the ability to question you without fear. If you’re trying to get to that next level, it often requires an outside set of eyes from someone you trust. Their insights and ability to see your blind spots could be the key to a deeper relationship with Christ or to help you exponentially improve what you’re doing for Christ.

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

March 10, 2014 · 7:44 AM

Exposing Your Weakness

20140310-074810.jpg

Last week, a mentor of mine posted a video of himself working out. He held a barbell above his head and squatted multiple times. He then moved over to a chin up bar and did several chin ups. After that he went back to the barbells. He repeated the process until he couldn’t go on. I watched as he began to struggle. His arms twitched. He had to refocus and retry a few times as he got wore out. Finally, he stopped and walked off the mat. His caption said, “One thing Crossfit does, it exposes weakness in areas you might have thought you were strong in. But I love it!”

That phrase stuck out to me. Most of us want nothing to do with having our weaknesses exposed. We like to keep them hidden from others and pretend they don’t exist. We like to focus on areas where we’re strong and show that side to the world. We like to put our best foot forward and rarely let others see who we completely are. We’re afraid others won’t like us as much or will look down on us. Fear plays a big role in keeping our weaknesses covered up. Unfortunately, that fear is what keeps us from being more of the person God wants us to be.

Knowing what your weaknesses are and putting them in the open has a lot of benefits. First, knowing your weaknesses gives you direction and focus. It shows you exactly what you need to work on. Just because you are weak in an area of your life, it doesn’t mean you can’t get strong there. Don’t fall for the lie that it’s just who you are or it’s just in your nature. You are only weak in areas of your life to the extent that you allow yourself to be. You have the power to get strong in those areas if only you will push yourself. When you do, you will find other areas of weakness. Simply repeat the process.

Another benefit to exposing weakness is that it opens you up to accountability. As long as you hide your weakness, it will eat away at you and hold you hostage. The moment you expose it and ask others to help, you set yourself free. You are free from the mind games it has played with you and used to keep you down. You are free to work on that area and to get help. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to say to someone else, “Here’s where I’m weak. I need you to hold me accountable and to help me beat it,” you begin to turn that weakness into a strength. You begin to take control over it instead of letting it have control over you.

In Psalm 139:24-24, David prayed to God and said, “Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; cross-examine me and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about… then guide me on the road to eternal life.” David understood this principle. He asked God to test him and to expose his weaknesses so that he could be guided on the road to eternal life. Each one of us have areas of weakness. Each one of us fail God in our lives. But not each one of us dare to ask God to expose it and then to guide us to a deeper walk with Him. Take that first step today and ask God to expose your weaknesses. Then find an accountability partner to help you strengthen that area. You’ll be glad you did.

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

August 26, 2013 · 8:09 AM

Content With Discontentment

Yesterday morning I was meeting with my accountability partner. I was sharing some areas of discontentment in my life with him where I thought I would have been further along by now. A year ago, things were moving rapidly in my life towards my goals. Now, they seem to have slowed to a crawl. It’s frustrating to be moving so quickly towards a God-given dream and then have it screech to a halt with no explanation.

As I was talking, the stories of Saul’s and David’s ascension to the throne came to mind. For Saul, he had no idea the leaders of Israel were asking Samuel to tell God they wanted a king instead of a prophet. He was out looking for some lost donkeys. After several days of looking and running out of food, his servant remembered there was a prophet in a nearby town. Maybe he could tell them where the donkeys were.

When they arrived, Samuel immediately knew that Saul was the man chosen by God to be king. He invited him to dinner with the elders and also let him know the donkeys had been found. The next day, Samuel told him he would be king and to go wait for him in another town. There Samuel anointed him king in front of everyone, but not everyone thought he was a good pick. A month later, he led Israel into battle and was victorious. The doubters went away.

David, on the other hand, was watching sheep when Samuel anointed him to be king. He didn’t become king a month later either. In fact, it was around 15 years that he had to wait. During that time, God was preparing him for the throne. He still had to watch sheep and do his daily duties. He still had to serve his brothers when they went off to war. Even though he and his family knew he was destined to be king, he still held his position and did his job faithfully while waiting.

I imagine he had to go through times of discontentment too. He had to wonder if the prophet was right. He had to think, “What am I doing out here watching sheep in this kind of weather?” He didn’t let those things get in the way of what God was doing in him as he was being prepared for the throne. He didn’t think he was above the menial job of watching the sheep which had been assigned to him because he was the youngest. He used that time to grow closer to God and to learn how to care for God’s sheep.

It was at this point that my accountability partner looked me square in the eyes and said, “You know, discipline is doing what you don’t want to do right now because you know what results it will bring in the future.” Those words went straight to my heart and challenged me. David was disciplined enough to watch sheep even though he was supposed to be king. The discipline God created in him during that time helped him to be the greatest king he could have been. Whereas Saul lacked the discipline required to be king and that cost him the throne.

If having discipline were easy, everyone would have it. Instead, few of us are able to endure the menial things in our life right now to have the strength needed in the future. We’d rather be given a great future without having to do the work in the present. We want the throne without the waiting. I’ve resolved to watch sheep as long as God sees fit. I’d rather He build the discipline in me now so I don’t fall later. I’m willing to put in the work now, so I can be effective when God says, “It’s time.”

8 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

August 19, 2013 · 7:32 AM

An Outside Set of Eyes

What do Phil Mickelson, LeBron James, Andy Murray and Michael Phelps have in common besides being amazing athletes? They all have coaches. They have someone who has an outside set of eyes to help them correct errors, tweak their movements and to provide encouragement to continue when things aren’t going as planned. Each athlete you can think of has a coach who helps them to be the best they can be.

This weekend, our church brought in an extra set of eyes to see what many of us on the inside can’t see. They looked at our processes, our friendliness, our reputation in the community and much more to help us be better. Having another person see you for who you really are versus who you see yourself to be can be difficult and scary. It’s a necessary step for growth though. You don’t get better unless you have someone who you trust to come and say, “Here’s what I see and here are the changes you should make.”

Each of us as Christians are called to be salt and light in our sphere of influence. Jesus asked, “If the salt has lost its flavor, what good is it?” What if each of us found someone to meet with on a regular basis to help our flavor get better? What if we opened ourselves up to that different set of eyes and heard the truth about the light we cast? It would hurt some, but it would also provide growth.

None of us have the Christian life down perfectly. We all struggle to walk in faith and in complete obedience. We are all successful in certain areas of our daily walk with Christ and we all have areas that could use improvement. We can only look in the mirror and see so much. It’s when we allow ourselves to be exposed that we truly find growth and accountability. I speak to people all the time in the business world about finding someone to help you succeed. Why don’t we do that in something that has eternal consequences?

There will always be someone who is better at certain aspects of the Christian life. Ask them to meet with you on a regular basis to challenge you and to help you grow. There is always someone who is coming up behind you who could benefit from knowing what you’ve learned. Reach out to them and ask if they’d like to meet regularly. Each of you will benefit from the relationship. Each of you will increase your flavor and ability to shine your lights.

Who are you thinking of right now that could help you to be accountable or could help you grow? Let me encourage you today to reach out to them and ask to start meeting with them to discuss your walk with God. It could be over breakfast once a week, a round of golf every other week, a cup of coffee at a local coffee house once a month or wherever and whenever that meets your schedules. It’s important to find someone you trust with your growth and who can provide input that you respect. Set that appointment up today. You won’t regret it.

6 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,