Tag Archives: debating

Quick To Listen

For some reason, one of the hardest things for us to do is go listen. We live in a world with so many platforms to voice our opinions and thoughts, but who is listening? When people get into a disagreement, both people tend to talk over each other because they both think they’re right and they want to make their point. If anyone is listening in that situation, it’s usually so they can rebut the other person. For the most part, we’ve lost the ability to actively listen with the intent to understand the other side and where they are coming from. Active listening involves pushing out the rebuttal thoughts and stopping the need to interrupt. It’s very difficult to do, but is able to be learned so that we can find what is the truth instead of “our truth”.

In Acts 15, while the Church was still very young, there was a difference in opinion about whether Gentiles needed to be circumcised in order to truly be saved. Paul and Barnabas disagreed and debated strongly. Since neither side moved, they decided to take the case to the apostles in Jerusalem for clarification. Peter agreed with Paul in this matter. Then in verse 12 it says, “All the people remained silent, and they listened [attentively] to Barnabas and Paul as they described all the signs and wonders (attesting miracles) that God had done through them among the Gentiles” (AMP). After listening, James got up and pointed to the Scriptures to show what they said, and then everyone came to an agreement and sent out people and letters to discuss their decision.

James 1:19 says, “Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving].” God’s Word has given us instruction to be quick to listen rather than to be quick to interrupt and speak. Then when we do speak, we need to choose our words carefully. Finally, be slow to get angry at someone, especially those with whom we disagree. People feel most valued when they’re heard. Remember that the person you are disagreeing with is also made in God’s image. Each person in the disagreement in the Early Church thought they were right and the other was wrong. Because they were willing to listen and seek wisdom from authority who prayed and searched the Scriptures, the issue between them was resolved. That same formula works today if we’re willing to listen and be humble enough to know we could be wrong.

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Foolish Arguments

I used to love listening to talk radio. There was a local guy that I enjoyed listening to, but one day he switched his format. Instead of merely discussing news events, he decided to bring divisive topics each day and just let people argue. His show began to be about stirring up a hornets nest where no one could win, and it caused people to dig their heels into their position. It was no longer a place for dialogue and the show became something I no longer wanted to listen to. I’m guessing I wasn’t alone because it was canceled not long after that.

As Christians, we need to be careful that we don’t fall into that same trap. We don’t want to be known as people who argue over every little thing, especially to the point where we refuse to listen. At times, it feels like our goal is to win the argument rather than to win the lost. It’s one thing to have a dialogue with someone about why you believe what you believe, but another thing entirely to look for divisive arguments with others. We’re to be known for our love rather than our debating skills.

Paul warned Timothy about this in 2 Timothy 2:23-24. He said, “Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people” (NLT). That’s a challenge for you and me in today’s world. Everyone seems to be divided on everything, even in the Church. We’re not to go around and start fights, but to find a way to teach people the truth in a way that they’ll listen. What good is it if we win the argument, but lose the war for their soul? When we start from a place of love rather than trying to be right, we’ll find more open doors to share our faith.

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