Tag Archives: faith

Free From Self Criticism

It’s Free Friday! What are you going to be free from today? The choice is yours to let it go. To celebrate Free Friday, I’m giving away a free copy of Steven Furtick’s book “Greater”. Keep reading to find out how to enter.

Most of the time, I’m my own worst enemy. Certainly I’m my own worst critic. I see and know all my flaws better than anyone. I do my best to cover them up so no one else sees them, but I know they’re still there. I use them as excuses to keep myself from doing greater things. I allow them to hold me back from who I was created to be. When I look in the mirror, they stare back at me and remind me that I’m a deeply flawed individual and am incapable of doing the things that I’m called to do. This cycle of self doubt perpetuates itself in my mind to the point that it blocks out the call from God.

Moses felt the same way. I always read the early chapters of Exodus and though he was making excuses as to why God couldn’t use him. In reality, I think it was self doubt and self criticism that was rearing it’s ugly head. When God asked him to do something greater, those insecurities and flaws that he saw in his own life reminded him of his inabilities. I don’t think he was trying to make excuses to get out of doing what God called him to, but rather he was telling God, “You’ve go the wrong person. I have so many flaws. How could you possibly use me? Remember how bad I messed up before?”

Whatever our flaws are and no matter how bad our past is, we can’t let the enemy use those to keep us from being and doing something great. Steven Furtick refers to this side of him as his “lesser loser life”. He said in chapter 2 of the book “Greater”, “I find over and over again that my greatest enemy of the greater life God has for me is…me.” Each one of us have this voice in our head that constantly tells us, “You can’t. You’re not enough. God can’t use you.” On and on it goes with all the things that are wrong with you. Relentlessly it attacks your mind to get you to believe that you’re not enough.

Today, it’s time to free yourself of that voice. You are God’s unique creation and were designed by Him to be great and to do greater things. The way I combat that voice is with scripture and by claiming who I am in Christ. When it says I can’t, I tell it, “I can do all things through Christ.” When it says God can’t use me because of my past, I say, “I’ve been forgive, it’s been forgotten and I’ve been redeemed.” When it says that no one will listen, I say, “I’m just the messenger. The message is His. My job is to speak it and His job is to open ears and minds.” I focus on what I can do and not what I can’t. I recognize what is my responsibility and what is God’s. He doesn’t ask me to do what only He can do. He asks me to do what only I can do.

What does that voice say to you that keeps you from being great? It’s time to set yourself free and what better day than Friday! Don’t listen to it. Shut it up and replace it with who God says you are. You are more than enough to do what God asks of you. You can and will do greater things through Christ. Don’t let your flaws become an excuse. Instead let God use them for His glory in a way that only He can do. God doesn’t make mistakes. Your life, your past and your flaws are not mistakes, but rather they are the exact things God needs in your life to accomplish what only you can do. It’s time to free yourself from self criticism and to do greater things.

To win Steven Furtick’s book “Greater”, simply go to my Facebook page and share any of today’s statuses. Everyone who shares a Facebook status by 11:59 PM, November 8th, 2013, will be entered into a drawing to win this life changing book. I’ll draw a name tomorrow, November 9th, and post the winner on my Facebook page.

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American Night in Cairo

I’ve been reminded twice this week about what I called “American Night in Cairo”. When I lived in Egypt, there were days were I longed to be back in the States and I would remember everything great about the U.S. On those days, I would put a cassette tape in my jam box that my parents recorded from my favorite station at home and listen to the music, DJ chatter, news, traffic and weather. I’d cook hotdogs that someone brought me, open a can of chili and drink a Dr. Pepper that a friend got from the commissary. After that, I’d put in a VHS tape into the VCR, sit on the couch and what “Friends” and other shows from “Must See TV” with commercials and all. For a moment, it was like I was back in my natural habitat.

The truth was, Egypt was my new home. I fell in love with Arabic, the pyramids, eating who knows what from who knows where, the dust storms, the horns honking, sailing down the Nile and everything else that was special about living there. I was so caught up in looking back to my old life that I almost missed the new one. I longed for days that had passed and my memory amplified how great things were because they weren’t right in front of me. It got to be all I thought about until I really embraced Egypt.

I heard the first part of Romans 6 last night from The Message Bible and it paralleled with those nights in Egypt. It says, “If we’ve left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn’t you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace – a new life in a new land!” I find myself, even now, looking back on my old life, the one where I didn’t follow God’s ways, and remembering it with fondness.

I don’t think it’s bad to remember the good times I had, but when I start longing for them again, it distracts from my new life in Christ. I start missing out on what God has for me in this new land. I can’t allow what used to be to dominate my present thoughts and to create a homesickness for what once was. Since we’re born into sin, that lifestyle is “home” to our flesh. Our mind and body want to go back there, but our spirit, who is given to us from God, desires the new land. It creates a battle inside. That battle stunts our growth, stagnates our walk and keeps us from seeing all the blessings of the new life.

It wasn’t until I quit having “American Night in Cairo” that I began to see the beauty of my new home. I had missed out on so much because I was always dreaming of what used to be. What is your “American Night in Cairo” that keeps drawing you back to your old life? God has called you to live a new life in a new land. Don’t spend your time in this new life dreaming of days gone by. Thank God you’re forgiven, listen to the deepest part of your spirit as it calls you to love this new life and follow after it. You live in a country of grace now. You have a new life in a new land, embrace it.

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Face to Face With God

After Moses came down from the mountainside with the Ten Commandments, he continued to meet with God in the Tabernacle. Exodus 33 says that when Moses would go into the Tabernacle, the people of Israel would stand at the door of their tents and watch. Once he entered, the pillar of cloud would come down over the entrance of the tent and the people would bow. What happens next in verse 11 is what I love about God. It says, “And God spoke to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.” God desires to have that relationship with you and me. One where we sit down with Him, face to face and speak as friends.

That sounds so difficult to me at times. How do I sit down and talk as friends with the One who created everything I see? Who am I that He would even meet me, let alone have a conversation with me? When I think of that, my own weaknesses, insecurities and sin come to mind. They make me want to stay outside of that sacred meeting place where God comes down and meets me face to face. I’d rather be one of the people who stands at a distance and watches others go in and expose themselves completely before the God of creation. It’s such an intimate meeting that it scares me at times to enter into it.

I love that God is willing to meet each one of us just like He did with Moses. I love that He desires to be our friend, father and helper. He has the will and the desire, but it’s up to each one of us to move beyond desire and to step into that place where He can meet us like that. Notice that it was Moses who entered the Tabernacle first and then God’s presence came down. It reminds me of James 4:8. It says, “(You) Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” The first step to intimacy with God is all about us being willing to get past being so vulnerable and open with God and then taking that first step toward Him.

I also think of the Prodigal Son. His father didn’t go look for him. Instead, he had to make the decision to expose who he had been to his father and then started moving in the direction of his father. When the father saw him a long way off, he recognized him and ran towards him. The Bible shows this principle over and over again. God is waiting and looking for us to enter that place where we meet Him. He is willing to come meet us face to face. He wants to talk to us as friends and children of His, but we have to move towards Him. Our first step sets God free to come running in our direction.

What’s your first step? Is it getting over your pride and admitting you can’t do this on your own? Is it acknowledging that there is hidden sin in your life and being willing to let God shine His light on it? Is it carving out time in your already overflowing schedule to make time with Him? Whatever it is, I encourage you to take that step today. Once you take that step, momentum is of your side. God begins to move towards you and you towards Him. The distance is cut in half with each step. Before you know it, you’ll be face to face with God almighty.

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Dismembered = Dysfunction

I was 20 when I moved out of my parents house. I didn’t just move out, I moved out of the country. I committed to a year of living in Egypt working in an English speaking church in Cairo. Looking back, it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. At the time, I struggled with homesickness, creating a whole new circle of friends, having my beliefs challenged and seeing church done in a way if had never seen it done before. Everything about that trip challenged me and pushed me to question just about everything in my life.

It was hard to deal with at the age of 20. I had grown up in one church under one pastor. I knew one way to do things. I knew one way to be a Christian. All of a sudden my world was split wide open. The church had over 10 denominations in it and had representation from over 20 countries. They used to say the church there was a microcosm of Heaven. We had to function and act as a body in order to survive. We couldn’t separate ourselves by body parts like we do here in the states. Here we go to First Fellowship of the Foot, Hands International, Eye of the Savior, the United Ears Church or Nose Community Church.

Somehow in our separation we have become what I Corinthians 12 talks about. In verse 21, Paul writes, “The eye can never say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you.’ The head can’t say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you.'” Yet we look at denominations different than our own as not being Christian or not being Christian enough. I was once told by someone of another denomination, “Many are called (Christians), but only few are chosen.” He implied that every other denomination besides his was only Christian in name.

We can’t act that way. As verse 13 puts it, “We have ALL been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same spirit.” I’m not against different denominations or non-denominations. I’m against us fighting against each other and trying to build our churches with each other’s members. We focus so much on how to attract someone who is a Christian and so little on how to reach out to the lost. It’s time we cast our nets on the other side and started working together instead of against each other. Sure we have differences, but our core belief in Jesus is the same.

I think there will be some surprises when we get to Heaven and see who is there. It won’t just be your denomination. Each denomination serves a different purpose just like each member of your body serves a different purpose. Verse 22 says, “Some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary.” Each of us play a vital role in reaching the lost. Each of us have a unique perspective on the Gospel. Don’t diminish other Christians who have a differing view than you. Instead, learn from each other and work together because we have a common goal: to know Him more fully and to share His love with others.

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I Love Mondays

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Did you ever read the “Garfield” comic strips? He was famous for saying, “I hate Mondays.” That resonated with so many people. Cubicals everywhere had a picture of him with a coffee mug and that expression on it. Now the saying is all over people’s Facebook page on Mondays. It doesn’t resonate with me though. It’s not that I don’t enjoy my weekends, but Mondays to me are a fresh start. The old week is gone, the new week is here and I get new challenges. The meetings will begin shortly after I log in, the todo list will be built and the week will be set up. Now that I think about it, I kind of like Mondays.

Ok, so maybe you don’t enjoy them like I do. To me, it’s all about perspective. The attitude with which you start your day will determine how you act throughout it. Fridays seem to be more enjoyable because your starting attitude is different. There are only 8 hours standing between you and the weekend and so you have this expectancy, this hope that gets you through with a smile on your face. I believe every day should be that way. I believe the attitude I choose each morning is what determines the outcome of my day.

In the month of November, several of my friends post something they’re thankful for each and every day. They often say that November is their favorite month. Coincidence? A heart full of gratitude is one that has a positive outlook. Each morning I try to find something to be thankful for. Some days, I’m just thankful I’m breathing. Other days, there are so many blessings that it’s hard to choose from. No matter what, I’m always thankful that God’s mercy is new every morning. I’m thankful that each day is a blank slate with God. I wake up forgiven for the mistakes I made yesterday because I’ve asked for it and I don’t have to worry that God is going to hold hem against me.

If God doesn’t hold it against me after I’ve asked for forgiveness, then I need to release myself from the guilt as well. Most of the time that my attitude is wrong is because I hold myself in some kind of penance purgatory. It’s as if God’s forgiveness wasn’t enough. It’s as if it was too easy to find new mercy this morning so I have to make sure I have a bad day to make up for my sin. You can’t earn God’s grace that way! He’s already paid the price for what you did yesterday. Once it’s forgiven and He’s forgotten it, you need to release yourself to be free in His mercy.

Don’t hate today because it’s Monday. Love it because He has granted you forgiveness from your past and has new mercy for you today. Don’t hold yourself back from the potential that today holds because of something you’ve been forgiven of. Release yourself to find joy in the new day and be open to see how God can use the mistakes of your yesterdays for His glory. You have the power to wake up today (and tomorrow) and say, “Thank you, God, that your mercies are new every morning. I don’t hate today because of what it stands for. I love it because of what you’ve done for me.” Try it and see if an attitude adjustment doesn’t make Mondays or any other day better.

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Free From Walls of Hurt

Many of you already know my story. I was blindsided ten years ago when I discovered my ex-wife having an affair. I logged into her email one morning when I was suspicious that something was wrong. What I found were emails between her and her lover. I read intimate details about their get togethers, the lies that they would tell their spouses, where and how they would meet, what they like that the other did in bed and how me and his wife didn’t measure up. Reading all those emails was one of the most painful things I’ve ever done. I kept walking away from the computer screaming out in anger and in pain. I pulled my hair to try to get the pain out of my body and onto my body.

When I offered reconciliation, forgiveness and counseling that evening, she turned me down. I only thought I had been in pain. When she replied, “What if I don’t want to?”, my heart broke even more. When she said, “I’m leaving”, I snapped. In that moment, I felt the worst pain and hurt I have ever felt in my life. It was as if someone stabbed me with a knife in the chest and pulled it straight down. I fell to my knees and began to sob. I lost all control. As she quickly packed her things, I began screaming and turning over ever picture of us in the house. I began to lash out in anger and in pain.

After that night, I couldn’t sleep for a long time. Every time I closed my eyes I would see the words of the emails and imagine them. The pain and fury would come rushing back. I quickly built up walls to shield myself from those thoughts and from ever being hurt like that again. I promised myself I would never put myself in that position again. I would never fully open up to anyone and share my innermost being where I would risk that kind of pain again. As things continued to go wrong in my life over the next six months, I built the wall brick by brick, thought by thought, promise by promise.

It wasn’t until I gave up on September 25, 2003, that I quit building the wall. Even though I had quit building it, I left it up to guard myself. I didn’t let anyone past it, not even God. I was afraid of being vulnerable. I was afraid of the pain. God spoke to me and then confirmed it through another person later. He wanted inside that wall. He wanted to heal me so I could have meaningful relationships. He wanted to bring restoration so I could build bridges with those bricks from my wall. He wanted to replace the scar tissue with tender flesh. It all came down to my choice. I had to choose to let Him come in and clean up the mess behind my wall.

Whatever has caused you to build walls in your life, God wants to bring healing. Whatever relationships have caused you to push people away, God wants to bring restoration to you. The walls you’ve built are only a facade. They don’t let you experience life, they just let you observe it. God wants to free you from your past hurt and to break down those walls in your life so you can truly live. It won’t happen over night so relax. Simply invite Him inside those walls and have the courage to ask Him to free you from them. Others need you back in their lives. Even more need to hear your story so they can find freedom from their pain.

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Stand and Shine

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Every year at this time, I’m amazed at how many Christians are scared of Halloween. They believe that in partaking in it, they are partaking in witchcraft or celebrating the devil’s holiday. I get it if they don’t want to dress up and go knocking door to door asking for candy. What I don’t get is sitting at home in the dark with the lights out hoping no one comes and knocks on their door. To me, that is the opposite of what Christians should be doing. We should have the most lit up yard and offer the best candy available. We should have a table set up in our driveway and be sitting out there hoping others will come join us in conversation.

In Matthew 5, Jesus said we were to be salt and light. He didn’t tell us to run and hide. In verses 14-16 in the Message Jesus says, “Here’s another way to put it: you’re here to be light, bringing out God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand – shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in Heaven.”

Jesus said to keep an open house and to be generous with your lives. He didn’t tell us to hide our light and to give in to darkness. He told us to do the opposite. If there is no light, there can only be darkness. Why would we hide our light on a day where it is needed most? To me, that is falling into the enemy’s trap. He wants you to hide your light. He wants you to close your door. He doesn’t want you talking to your neighbors because they might hear you open up and talk about God. Jesus said that when you open up to others, you’ll prompt them to open up to God.

Most of us are scared to go door to door to share our faith. There may be people in your church who do it, but it’s not something most of us would ever do. We make excuses, we tell ourselves it’s ineffective, we say it’s offensive and we don’t want to push people away. Yet tonight, you don’t have to go door to door witnessing. You have people coming to your door hungry, looking for something more than candy. They’re looking for Light to see whose door to knock on. Oddly enough, the ones who bear the true light are cowering in darkness. They’re putting their light under a bucket while the lost search for light.

You don’t have to celebrate Halloween tonight. You don’t have to dress up. But I believe you are playing into the enemy’s hands and doing the opposite of what God has called you to do if you turn off your lights and hide. We are called to be salt and light. As Jesus put it in Matthew 5:13, “If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.” Don’t lose your usefulness tonight. Let God use you to build relationships with your neighbors, open up conversations and to talk to others about God. Don’t run and hide, stand and shine.

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My Expectations vs. God’s Reality

I’m getting close to my next Haiti trip. This trip has been an emotional roller-coaster for me. When I initially planned it, I had close to 40 people wanting to go. I had something at work come up on the week that we had agreed to and I couldn’t get out of. When I switched the week, it was like all the momentum was lost. Almost everyone couldn’t make it on the new week. I barely got ten people who could go. Soon after the deadline, people started contacting me letting me know they couldn’t make it after all.

I decided I would cancel the trip even though I felt strongly we were supposed to go. I began to allow my feelings to dictate my actions instead of what I knew God had said. My expectations for the trip were not being met by a long shot. I started with 40 and ended up with three from that original group. Of the ten who had signed up, five had dropped out. Money for the trip came in slowly. Out of frustration I went to God and complained. He didn’t beat me down, but He did remind me that this is about Him and not me.

I’m the type of person who likes to have a plan and to work that plan. When the plan goes out the window, I try to make a new plan. When all my plans fail, I begin to question myself and God. Did I hear Him? Is He paying attention? Why do I feel like I’m alone in this? Did I have the wrong expectations? I don’t think it’s wrong to ask God the hard questions or to be honest with Him when things don’t go as planned. He sees our hearts and knows our thoughts. Why not be honest with Him? I think He appreciates that more than us pretending that we’re ok with how things are.

Each of us have our own expectations in life, in relationships, in work, in family, in plans we make and of God. If you’ve lived more than a day, you have found out that those things rarely live up to our expectations. Plans fail. Life changes. We get dealt what we think are bad hands. Just because things don’t happen according to our plans, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t happening according to His plans. We see a small piece of the puzzle at a time and think we know where and how it fits in the whole, but God is looking at the picture on the box. He sees your life from beginning to the end and knows exactly where each piece fits and why they fit where they do. His reality is greater than our expectations.

His reality for my trip is a group of people only He could fit together. His reality is that the people He chose have the right skill sets to accomplish what He wants us to accomplish on this trip and not what I wanted to accomplish. I can fight Him and continue to be disappointed because my expectations aren’t being met or I can let go of my expectations, embrace His reality and know that what He wants to do on this trip is greater than anything I could have imagined. God always leaves that choice up to us. We can choose to be bitter and resentful or we can choose to let our plans and expectations go in order to embrace His. What’s your choice?

By the way, He sent five more people and has created a team that I could have never imagined or put together. I can’t wait to share with you what God has planned for this group!

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Victory

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I saw a poster recently with a picture of Michael Jordan on it. It caught my attention because it’s been over ten years since he played. Underneath his photo, in big letters, it said “Victory”. Then it wrote out the definition of victory. As I thought about it, he became synonymous with winning and victory, but that’s not his full story. Before he became a star, he couldn’t make his high school team. After he became a star, he failed at gambling, marriage and baseball. He failed in more areas than he succeeded in, but he did not let those failures define him.

You and I are the same. Our failures outnumber our successes. I get caught up sometimes just thinking about my failures. I wonder why I still try. I beat myself down because my failures seem so stupid. I think I should be able to beat them, but each time I fail, I get down on myself. I saw a friend on Facebook ask the other day, “Is it a true portrait of a man to see him when he is tempted?” I thought a lot about that. My first inclination was to say yes. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I thought that because I allow my failures to define me.

You and I are more than who we are when we are tempted and when we fail. We are also the person who knows where to seek forgiveness after a failure. We are the person who stands on mountain tops with our arms outstretched looking up to Heaven when we’ve succeeded. We are the person who pushes through when we don’t feel like it and no one seems to care. We are complex and should never allow ourselves to be defined or think that an accurate portrait of ourselves is who we are when we fail.

In Romans 8, Paul listed all kinds of things that could define us. At the end of that list, he said, “Despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ.” It’s time we started to see ourselves as God sees us. We are not all the mistakes, failures or temptations that we face. You and I are victors. We are the very definition of victory if we are willing to get back up, seek forgiveness and to try again. We may not be considered synonymous with victory in the world’s eyes, but we are in God’s. When He looks at you, He doesn’t see a failure. He sees someone made in His image with the power to win.

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Opening Closed Curtains

When my first wife left me, I went into a deep depression. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I didn’t want to do anything. I just wanted to lay down and not have to worry about getting up. I was ready to quit everything: my business, my friendships, my obligations and my life. I couldn’t find the strength I needed to face each new day. I couldn’t stand to see the sun come up and remind me that another day had begun in this new life. I bought thick curtains so I could block the light from coming in.

Those curtains were very symbolic of what I was trying to do to everything else in my life. I wanted to block out everything good around me. Other’s happiness just made me more miserable. In fact, it made me bitter and angry. I didn’t want to see others who were happily married or in a fulfilling relationship. If I knew someone in my life like that, I closed the curtains on them. If someone was happy and bubbly, I shut the curtains on them. If someone tried to reach out to me to cheer me up, I slammed them shut on them.

Slowly I began to isolate myself from the positive things in my life. My world grew darker and darker. My brother took me to a doctor who put me on anti-depressants. The thought that I had to take a pill to cope with things made me upset. All they did to me were to numb the pain I was feeling. I felt like a zombie as I went through the motions of life. I still wanted the curtains shut and worked at pushing others away. Thank God I had friends and family who wouldn’t let me keep the curtains closed.

Every time I shut the curtains, they would open them. Every time I pushed away, they came closer. One friend would come to my house each morning at 9:30, knock on my door and tell me to get up because people needed me. Day after day she would knock on my door and throw the curtains of my life open. If I didn’t show up to work soon after that, she’d call and throw them open again. Soon I began to get up on my own. I began to find purpose in my life.

Just because the person who was supposed to love me through thick and thin, through sickness and health, through riches and poverty until death had rejected me it didn’t mean that others had. Because she didn’t need me in her life, it didn’t mean that others didn’t. As I began to slowly open the curtains and to allow light back into my life, I quit taking the medicine with my doctor’s approval. Each day, I opened the curtains a little more, even when I didn’t want to. I had to force myself to get back to the person I knew I could be. I had to quit pushing everyone away. It was a long, hard road, but one that was worth struggling down.

I wonder what part of this story speaks to you. Where are you today? Are you the one holed up in your world with the curtains closed trying to keep the light out? Are you the one who just wants to quit at everything and let the world pass you by? Have you found yourself letting the light in a little at a time? Are you a friend who has been pushed away by someone you love or care about? Or are you the friend who keeps knocking and opening the curtains for those who close them? I think we find ourselves in one of these places at some point.

If you are in a deep depression, seek help from your doctor, church, family and friends. It’s not weak to admit you need help. In fact, it’s one of the strongest things you can do. If you know someone struggling, don’t let them push you away. Keep knocking on their door. Don’t have thin skin. They need you more than you know. You can’t quit on them even if they’ve quit on you and everything else. Pray for them. Pray that you will have wisdom and favor when trying to reach them. Pray that God will show you how to open their curtains and let His light in.

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