Tag Archives: forgiving someone

People Of Restoration

Have you ever made a mistake or messed up? Ever have anyone not let you forget it? It’s bad enough that we all make mistakes, but it’s worse when it’s public and we can’t live it down. Sometimes it makes you the butt of other people’s jokes, and sometimes it’s what keeps you from getting ahead. Each time you try to advance, there’s someone holding that over your head reminding you of that one time you messed up and that’s why they can’t trust you. It can be frustrating to be in that position, but I think it’s worse to be the person who is holding another person’s mistake against them. Grace is something we all expect from others, but rarely give someone else. We judge others by their mistakes, but want them to judge our mistakes by our intentions. It’s time we implemented the Golden Rule when it comes to mistakes people make.

Can you imagine how Peter felt when he publicly denied Jesus a couple of hours after saying he would never do that? Luke 22:61 says that when Peter denied Jesus a third time, Jesus turned and looked at him. How do you come back from that? It’s no wonder Peter wanted to go back to his old life after Jesus was crucified. He was so used to people holding his mistakes against him that he thought being the Rock of the Church was out the window. I love that Jesus introduced him to grace and asked him three times if he loved Him. It took a while for Jesus to get through to him that his mistake had been overlooked and that Jesus wouldn’t dwell on it. He restored the friendship in that conversation and reinstated Peter’s future. Jesus didn’t just do that for Peter’s benefit. He was giving us a model to emulate.

Proverbs 17:9 says, “Love overlooks the mistakes of others, but dwelling on the failures of others devastates friendships” (TPT). Who do you need to release today? Who’s failure have you been dwelling on and holding it against them? If Jesus hasn’t held your past mistakes against you, how can you hold someone’s against them? We are people of restoration. We are people of forgiveness. It’s time we began to live like that instead of the way our flesh wants us to live. Holding someone’s past against them makes you the warden and them your prisoner, but love overlooks the mistakes of others. If we’re to be known for our love, we’re to be known for letting go of people’s past mistakes.

Side note: We’re also to be people who are wise as serpents and harmless as doves. It doesn’t mean we give them full access and carte blanche. Use wisdom in providing a way forward to rebuild trust and to help them advance rather than to hold them in one place forever. We are Biblically called to forgive everyone, but not necessarily to reconcile with everyone. There’s a difference. Forgiveness frees them and you from the mistake. Reconciliation restores the relationship. Sometimes forgiveness is all you can do, and that’s ok.

Thanks to Jachan DeVol @jachan_devol for making this photo available freely on Unsplash

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Esau’s Hidden Blessing

Genesis 27 contains a story many of us are familiar with. It’s where Jacob steals Esau’s blessing. I remember hearing this story as a child and wondering why Isaac couldn’t give Esau a blessing too. To tell the truth, I still don’t understand why he couldn’t do something. In verse 38, Esau pleaded, “But do you have only one blessing? Oh my father, bless me too!” Isaac began to tell him what all he had given to his brother. I’m sure each blessing was a dagger to the heart since they were meant for him.

Isaac then spoke the opposite of the blessing of Jacob to Esau. He told him that he would live far away from the riches of the earth and away from Heaven’s dew. He told him he would live by the sword and would serve his brother. The way he ended it was curious to me though. He said, “However it shall come to pass when you break loose [from your anger and hatred], That you will tear his yoke off your neck [and you will be free of him]” (AMP) To me, that was a blessing hidden in there. He would only serve his brother until he decided not to. I think that his anger was so blinding that he missed it though.

Instead of breaking free, he allowed anger to rule his life and his decisions. He started doing the opposite of what he had been taught. In fact, he went out and married a woman from Canaan because he knew his father didn’t like them. When we are hurt by someone, all we want to do is hurt them back. We say things and do things that we think will stick it to them the way they stuck it to us. Esau was no exception. He decided to let anger rule his decision making and ultimately his way of life.

When we act like that, we are letting the other person rule us. We quit making decisions based on our good and instead make them on what we think will do the most harm to another. We quit trying to find ways to help ourselves advance and only find ways to make the other person retreat. We put ourselves in a prison, lock the doors and hand the keys to the person that hurt us. I understand that even less than why Isaac couldn’t bless Esau as well. I’ve been angry and hurt enough to want to act that way, but not to the point where it controlled every decision for a long period of time. I didn’t want to give anyone that kind of power over me.

If you’re in that position now, the blessing given to Esau is a blessing for you. “When you break loose [from your anger and hatred], That you will tear his yoke off your neck [and you will be free of him].” The choice is yours to let it go. Quit wondering if they ever regret doing that to you. Quit wishing their life was horrible. Stop getting excited when you hear about bad things that happen to them. Those thoughts keep you locked in prison. Decide to let it go. I know that easier said than done. I’ve had to do it myself. The only way you break free from that life is to let go. When you do, the yoke will fall off, your life will begin to have a greater purpose and will flourish again.

Photo by niu niu on Unsplash

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