Tag Archives: friendship

September 4, 2025 · 5:30 AM

Symbiotic Encouragement

There are at least three types of relationships we need to have in our lives. If you don’t have these, you need to make them. The first one is where I’m the encourager. There are certain people in my life that need encouragement when they call or want to meet. Then there are the people who encourage me when I need it. Finally, the most important one is the one where you mutually encourage each other. These relationships are symbiotic and benefit both parties involved. It’s important that you identify who fit into these categories in your life. We all need to both encourage others and to be encouraged.

David and Jonathan had the symbiotic type relationship. They loved each other dearly, looked out for each other and encouraged one another. They learned to put the other’s needs ahead of their own, thereby bringing value to each other. In 1 Samuel 23, Jonathan’s father Saul was chasing David to kill him. Saul wanted Jonathan to succeed him as king, nut Jonathan valued David more than the position. In verse 16 it says, “Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God” (NLT). They then renewed their pact of encouragement to each other and Jonathan went home.

Who is that person in your life? Who is the one who comes running in your time of need? Who is it that when you both walk away from conversations you feel better? Chances are the two of you are intentional about your conversations and meetings. In Romans 1:12, Paul was looking forward to going to Rome to meet with the believers. He wrote, “When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.” Encouragement is born from intentionality. It doesn’t just happen. Be praying that you would be an encourager, that there would be someone in your life who encourages you and most importantly that you would find a person to share symbiotic encouragement with.

Photo by Joseph Karges on Unsplash

Throwback Thursday is a feature I’m using to help build some margin into my schedule to pursue other ventures. Each Thursday I’ll be bringing you a previously written devotional that still speaks encouragement to us from God’s Word. 

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October 31, 2024 · 5:30 AM

Your Inner Circle

When I was a kid, I began to hear my parents tell me, “You become like those you run with. Choose wisely.” Those were wise words to a child, but they’re also wise words to you as an adult. We like to think that people don’t change us, but the truth of the matter is that each of us are being sharpened and shaped by the people closest to us. They’re the ones whom we let down our facade the most with to show who we really are. Because of that vulnerability, they become the people who shape our decisions, our interests and even direction of our life. Your innermost circle of friends even determine the level of success you’ll have in life. You can’t soar with eagles if you’re scratching around with turkeys all the time.

The Bible has a lot to say about friendships. It gives examples of people like David and Jonathon who were willing to sacrifice everything for each other. There’s also Paul and Timothy whose friendship was one where Paul was a mentor as he shaped this young pastor. However, Job had some friends that gave him bad advice and weren’t able to endure the suffering with their friend. They used their influence in his life to try to misrepresent God and affect his relationship with Him. The people we let in our innermost circle of friends shape even our relationship with God, so it’s eternally important to choose wisely.

In Psalm 101:6 David says, “My innermost circle will only be those whom I know are pure and godly. They will be the only ones I allow to minister to me” (TPT). He understood the importance of that group on his relationship with God and wanted to protect it most. Who are you allowing to minister to you and to shape your relationship with God? Are they pushing you closer to Him or are they misrepresenting God to you? If they’re not making you sharper, challenging you to grow more or improving your relationship with God, they’re holding you back. David was selective about who he let into that group, and we should be too. God is calling us to greater maturity, faith and relationship with Him. Are the people closest to you influencing you in that direction?

Photo by Kingsley Osei-Abrah on Unsplash

Throwback Thursday is a feature I’m using to help build some margin into my schedule to pursue other ventures. Each Thursday I’ll be bringing you a previously written devotional that still speaks encouragement to us from God’s Word.

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June 24, 2021 · 5:30 AM

Relationship Goals

When I was a teen, someone told me, “You become like those you run with.” When I was a young adult, someone told me, “You show me who your friends are, and I’ll show you who you are.” Then several years later, someone told me, “If you want to soar with eagles, you can’t be scratching around in the dirt with turkeys.” All these reminders have been about the importance of choosing who you choose to hang out with. Either the group you’re with will hold you back or help you get to that next level.

As I’ve lived my life, I can honestly say that these messages are true. Close relationships are the greatest influencers of your success or failure. If you’re constantly failing and are stuck in a bad place, you need to walk away from the relationships that are holding you back. Your life will not change until you change your relationships. If you want your life to improve, associate with people who are ahead of you and are moving in the right direction. This works for spiritual and economic growth as well.

As Paul was grooming Timothy to be a leader, he gave him the same advice. 2 Timothy 2:22 says, “Strive for righteousness, faith, love, and peace, together with those who with a pure heart call out to the Lord for help” (GNT) Paul wanted Timothy to understand it’s difficult to grow on your own. You need other like minded people who are headed in the same direction to help you get there. Proverbs 27:17 tells us that as iron sharpens iron, one person sharpens another. You need people around you who will make you sharp.

When coaching or counseling people, I let them know that they need someone ahead of them that they can follow. They need someone beside them that can challenge them. They also need someone behind them that they can help get to the next level. Finding the right relationships is one of the most difficult tasks in life. That’s why it’s preached to you since you were young. It’s never to late to make the changes you need to make. If you’re ready to soar with eagles, spread your wings and leave the turkeys behind.

Photo by Frank Cone from Pexels

Throwback Thursday is a feature I’m using to help build some margin into my schedule to pursue other ventures. Each Thursday I’ll be bringing you a previously written devotional that still speaks encouragement to us from God’s Word.

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April 26, 2017 · 5:32 AM

An Encouraging Friend


We’ve all got that friend who we get into trouble with. We’ve also got that friend who’s got our back no matter what. But do you have that friend who will seek you out and encourage you while you’re down? In my darkest times, when most friends deserted me, I had a handful of people who wouldn’t let me give up. I had a brother who called every day, a coworker who made me go to work each day and another friend who would just hang out so I’d have company. 

It’s good to have friends, but we all need those friends who won’t leave us when the going gets tough. We need a friend like Jonathon was to David. Jonathon’s dad, Saul, was out to kill David, so he was hiding in the wilderness with about 600 warriors. Not one of those 600 did for David what Jonathon did. They would have given their life for him, but they weren’t able to encourage him when he needed it most.

In I Samuel 23:16 it says, “Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God” (NLT). Jonathon risked his own life to encourage his friend and to help him stay strong in his faith. That’s the kind of friend we all need. There aren’t just times when we need encouragement. There are times when we all struggle in our faith. When our world is crashing and we don’t see how God will keep His promise, we need that friend who will remind us of all God has done for us.

Not only do we need that friend in our life, we need to be that friend to others. We need to get attentive to the needs of those around us. We need to be the ones who go to them in their hour of need. It’s not their responsibility to come to you when they need encouragement. Often they don’t have the strength or their pride holds them back. We each need to be the friend that we will need at some point in our life. We need to be a friend that encourages. 

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April 19, 2016 · 5:30 AM

God’s Secret To Happiness

  Since I was a kid, I heard people tell me, “You become like those you run with.” It was great advice then and now for choosing who you hang out with and listen to. We’ve all received bad advice from someone in our life that has put us in a situation we didn’t want to be in. Some of us have a momentary awkwardness and others have a lifetime of regret because of the consequences of that choice. Either way, we got into the mess by taking advice from someone we shouldn’t have been hanging around.

Psalm 1 is one of my life chapters. What I mean by that is that I see it as a promise from God so I’ve tried to build my life on it. The chapter starts out by telling us, “Happy are those who reject the advice of evil people, who do not follow the example of sinners or join those who have no use for God” (GNT). If you want to be happy, stop taking advice from people who don’t know the principles found in God’s Word. Find better people to hang out with if you want your life to change.

If you’ve followed this site for a while, you know the struggles I went through years ago. When I hit rock bottom, I worked my way backwards to find out how I got there. It all started with choices to hang out with and associate myself with people who had no use for God and what I believed. When I looked at my life, I realized I wasn’t happy. God took me back to this chapter and called me back to being who He called me to be in verse 2. It says, “Instead, they find joy in obeying the Law of the Lord, and they study it day and night.”

If we will get away from the wrong crowd and start living the way God’s Word tells us to, we’ll not only find happiness, but joy. But God doesn’t stop there. He gives us another promise in verse three if we live that way. It says, “They are like trees that grow beside a stream, that bear fruit at the right time, and whose leaves do not dry up. They succeed in everything they do.” God promises productivity, success, favor, and happiness in our life if we will just live the way He wants us to and associate ourselves with like minded people.

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March 30, 2016 · 5:30 AM

The Best Friend 

  
I don’t know of a greater friendship in the Bible than that of David and Jonathan. I Samuel 18 says their souls were knit together. Jonathan knew he was next in line to be king, but also knew that God had anointed David for that role. He gladly gave up his rights to the throne for his friend. His loyalty was to what God wanted and not what he was entitled to, and it showed in his actions.

When Saul was desperately trying to kill David, Jonathan would warn him. He helped David escape. On one such occasion in I Samuel 23, Saul was trying to find him, but God hid David. In verse 16 it says, “Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God” (NLT). To me, that’s what real friends do. They go to their friend in need and encourage them to trust God and to stay strong in their faith.

David didn’t have to tell Jonathan he was tired of living in caves, constantly having to hide, or that he was hungry. He didn’t have to tell him that he was doubting that God knew his situation and was telling God to wake up. As a friend, Jonathan proactively went to David and encouraged him. He prayed for him and stood by him in the struggle even if it meant his own father would kill him. He didn’t care about the consequences to his own life.

I would venture to say that many of us don’t have a friend like that and aren’t willing to go to that extreme for someone. However, each one of us can encourage another friend to stay strong in their faith. Each one of us can go to someone in need to stand in the gap for them and to pray for them when they don’t have the strength or faith to do it themselves. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity” (AMP). Be like Jonathan and love your friends in the good times and in the bad. Be there for them in adversity and encourage them when they’re weak. God will honor you if you do.

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January 23, 2015 · 5:45 AM

10 Scriptures On Friendship

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1. As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. (Proverbs 27:17 NLT)

2. Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble. (Proverbs 17:17 MSG)

3. If you want people to like you, forgive them when they wrong you. Remembering wrongs can break up a friendship. (Proverbs 17:9 GNB)

4. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13 NLT)

5. Don’t leave your friends or your parents’ friends and run home to your family when things get rough; Better a nearby friend than a distant family. (Proverbs 27:10 MSG)

6. Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend’s counsel that comes from the heart. (Proverbs 27:9 AMP)

7. Friends mean well, even when they hurt you. But when an enemy puts an arm round your shoulder — watch out! (Proverbs 27:6 GNB)

8. Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family. (Proverbs 18:24 MSG)

9. When you please the Lord, you can make your enemies into friends. (Proverbs 16:7 GNB)

10. Reliable friends who do what they say are like cool drinks in sweltering heat—refreshing! (Proverbs 25:13 MSG)

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October 28, 2013 · 7:54 AM

Opening Closed Curtains

When my first wife left me, I went into a deep depression. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I didn’t want to do anything. I just wanted to lay down and not have to worry about getting up. I was ready to quit everything: my business, my friendships, my obligations and my life. I couldn’t find the strength I needed to face each new day. I couldn’t stand to see the sun come up and remind me that another day had begun in this new life. I bought thick curtains so I could block the light from coming in.

Those curtains were very symbolic of what I was trying to do to everything else in my life. I wanted to block out everything good around me. Other’s happiness just made me more miserable. In fact, it made me bitter and angry. I didn’t want to see others who were happily married or in a fulfilling relationship. If I knew someone in my life like that, I closed the curtains on them. If someone was happy and bubbly, I shut the curtains on them. If someone tried to reach out to me to cheer me up, I slammed them shut on them.

Slowly I began to isolate myself from the positive things in my life. My world grew darker and darker. My brother took me to a doctor who put me on anti-depressants. The thought that I had to take a pill to cope with things made me upset. All they did to me were to numb the pain I was feeling. I felt like a zombie as I went through the motions of life. I still wanted the curtains shut and worked at pushing others away. Thank God I had friends and family who wouldn’t let me keep the curtains closed.

Every time I shut the curtains, they would open them. Every time I pushed away, they came closer. One friend would come to my house each morning at 9:30, knock on my door and tell me to get up because people needed me. Day after day she would knock on my door and throw the curtains of my life open. If I didn’t show up to work soon after that, she’d call and throw them open again. Soon I began to get up on my own. I began to find purpose in my life.

Just because the person who was supposed to love me through thick and thin, through sickness and health, through riches and poverty until death had rejected me it didn’t mean that others had. Because she didn’t need me in her life, it didn’t mean that others didn’t. As I began to slowly open the curtains and to allow light back into my life, I quit taking the medicine with my doctor’s approval. Each day, I opened the curtains a little more, even when I didn’t want to. I had to force myself to get back to the person I knew I could be. I had to quit pushing everyone away. It was a long, hard road, but one that was worth struggling down.

I wonder what part of this story speaks to you. Where are you today? Are you the one holed up in your world with the curtains closed trying to keep the light out? Are you the one who just wants to quit at everything and let the world pass you by? Have you found yourself letting the light in a little at a time? Are you a friend who has been pushed away by someone you love or care about? Or are you the friend who keeps knocking and opening the curtains for those who close them? I think we find ourselves in one of these places at some point.

If you are in a deep depression, seek help from your doctor, church, family and friends. It’s not weak to admit you need help. In fact, it’s one of the strongest things you can do. If you know someone struggling, don’t let them push you away. Keep knocking on their door. Don’t have thin skin. They need you more than you know. You can’t quit on them even if they’ve quit on you and everything else. Pray for them. Pray that you will have wisdom and favor when trying to reach them. Pray that God will show you how to open their curtains and let His light in.

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