Tag Archives: love

January 9, 2013 · 6:53 AM

Forgiveness

How do you forgive the unforgivable? How do you come to the place where you can forgive someone for the ultimate betrayal? When you’ve trusted someone with everything and they stab you in the back as they take it all away, it’s hard to come to that place. It’s even more difficult when you have daily reminders. It’s like someone is just twisting the knife in you. The pain becomes unbearable. Not understanding why just makes it more difficult.

For me, I’ve had to let go of that last question to come to a place of forgiveness. The question of why will eat you up like a cancer. It causes you to hold on to the pain, the depression and it keeps the wounds open. I tried to drown my pain. I tried to run from it too. I did anything and everything I could to find a way to get rid of the constant reminders. I eventually covered up the wound and just pretended that it didn’t exist.

If I could forget it happened, I could numb the pain. If I could pretend it was a bad dream, somehow it would make me forget. Over time, that seemed to work. It sat there though dormant waiting in the dark. I would never be able to forget or make the scars go away though. It wasn’t until I confronted the pain, the hurt and the scars that I found forgiveness.

I heard Dave Roever speak about a year ago. His body is riddled with physical scars from having a phosphorous grenade blow up by his head as he was throwing it. His words pierced me. He said, “Don’t hide your scars. In them lies healing for you and for others.” Could it be that by hiding the scars and withholding forgiveness I was preventing myself and others from healing? I now know he was right. By looking at what happened and uncovering the layers of things I used to cover up the pain, I was able to find forgiveness.

Jesus gave the best example of forgiveness as He was on the cross. He was able to look the men in the eye who beat Him, mocked Him and betrayed Him. He was able to find forgiveness while the nails were still in His hands. He was able to find peace while the blood was pouring out of His body and say, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.” He was able to see the whole plan of what was happening. You and I aren’t afforded that luxury.

It took years to see the plan and the reasons why. The betrayal in my life knocked me completely off the path I was on and put me on another one. It changed my outlook, the way I think and ultimately who I am. If it hadn’t been for that one act, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Being able to have that perspective this far away is what helped me find forgiveness. I know that what happened, while it hurt deeply and still does, was a course correction that God used to get me where He wanted me.

If they were the tool that God used to get me here, how can I withhold forgiveness? When I withhold forgiveness, I can’t be who I am supposed to be. It will keep me in a prison of pain and bitterness and I will miss what God has for me. I knew the day would come when I would have to forgive because Jesus also said, “If you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Were the sins committed against me any worse than my sins against God? No. He found a way to forgive me, I have to find a way to forgive others.

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December 4, 2012 · 7:56 AM

Want to Trade?

I grew up going to a Wednesday night scouting program through my church. We earned badges, learned how to set up a campsite and went camping. There were competition camp outs with the section and district that I enjoyed. Every four years there would be a national camp out where people from all over would attend. There were people from all over who attended.

At the national camp out, each district brings hat pins with them and trades them with kids from other parts of the US and world. Just like anything that is traded, some pins become popular and more difficult to get and others are less popular which no one wants. Every where you go, people are stopping you to see what pins you have. They are hoping to make a trade. Without any good pins, it’s hard to make a trade with anyone.

There was a man not far from where I was camping who set up a table outside his tent. He had a towel stretched out with pins from all over the world on it. There were Russian military pins, pins from European countries, pins from national monuments and pins that blinked. His collection was amazing. Word spread to everyone where he was set up. I walked over to look at his collection. It truly was amazing. He had been collecting for years.

As I stood in line to see, I got close enough to hear what was going on. Each boy that walked up to the table heard him ask, “Which one is your favorite?” The boys would think long and hard then point to their favorite. He’d tell them the story of how he got it and then he’d ask another question. He’d ask, “Which pin do you have that you like the least?” The boys were quick to point out which one they didn’t like. He then asked, “Would you like to trade that one for your favorite?” It didn’t take very long for each kid to jump on that trade.

It got me to thinking of how each of us have things, habits and flaws in our lives that we don’t like. We can all point to our mistakes and say, “I wish I could trade that for something better.” What I’ve learned about God is just that. He takes our worst and gives us His best. Galatians 5 mentions the flaws we have: immorality, impurity, indecency, selfishness, envy and the like. Then it tells us what God gives in exchange: love, joy, gladness, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

I’m not sure why we hang on to some of those old habits when you look at the list of what God wants to trade. Letting go of those is hard for us somehow. Accepting something so much better is somehow more difficult. We know the trade is completely in our favor and I think that makes us feel guilty or unworthy to accept it. Romans says that not one of us is worthy, but God showed us His love by sending His Son to die for us while we were still sinners.

What do you have to trade today? What have you been holding onto that you want to let go? Make the trade. Tell Him what you want that He has and what you want to trade for it. He’ll gladly do it and you’ll be better off for it.

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November 30, 2012 · 7:52 AM

The Check Please

I used to have a boss who would describe grace as God’s Redemption At Christ’s Expense. I have a friend who call’s it unmerited favor. I believe it is more than not getting what you deserve, it’s getting something you don’t deserve. Since Adam and Eve we have gone against what God has commanded us. We have gone our own way, done things our own way and lived our own way. I’m not sure why He would still extend grace to us when we clearly don’t deserve it. But He does.

I have a friend who does an exercise in grace each Christmas. He and his family rent a hotel or cabin in some small town nearby when it gets close to Christmas. Everyone brings the money they were going to spend on Christmas presents for their kids and spouses. Once in the hotel, each person draws a card with a day of the week on it. On that day, that person picks the restaurant and whoever their server is gets the money they were going to spend on their family. They do it even if they get poor service.

They don’t make a big show either. He told me that they get such an amazing feeling by blessing others. It’s addicting. He said that now his kids can’t take it when it’s not their night to bless. So what the others do now is look around the restaurant and tell their sever, “I want to buy that families dinner.” Sometimes his kids end up paying for everyone in the restaurant and no one knows who did it.

When I think about it, that’s a lot like what God did for us. He came into this world unassuming. He came as a baby when we were expecting a king. He lived among us and did normal things. He then started blessing people who didn’t deserve it. He helped the poor. Then, when we weren’t expecting it, he did the ultimate act of Grace. He paid for our sins. We deserve to pay for the wrongs we’ve done, but when the check comes, it’s marked paid!

I’m so thankful that there is nothing I can do to ever deserve God’s grace. Just like when those customers get their check, they see what they deserve to pay, I know what I deserve to pay. I’m thankful each day that God sent His Son into this world to pay my check. I know at the end of each day, I should owe something for what I’ve done. As unworthy as I am, Jesus looks down and says, “I got it.”

Have you accepted that grace from Him for what you’ve done? If not, now is the perfect time. All you have to do is say, “Jesus, I know I don’t deserve your grace. My sins and faults are many. I know the debt I owe, but I accept your grace and your forgiveness to cover the check. Thank you for forgiveness. Amen.” If you were worthy of it, it wouldn’t be grace. God’s Redemption At Christ’s Expense!

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November 29, 2012 · 7:53 AM

Risk Your Gift

A few months ago I had my nephew read the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25:14-30. After he read it, we went to dinner to discuss it. He explained to me how the king had given servants silver and asked them to invest it while he was gone. When he came back for his money, one servant made ten times the original, another made five times and a third just buried it in the ground. The king was happy with the first two, but furious with the third.

After he explained it to me, I pulled out a hundred dollar bill. His eyes lit up. I slid it across the table to him and told him to invest it for me. I told I wanted him to think of a ministry he wanted to support with it. He quickly named a missionary in Kenya who had made an impact on him. I then told him when I come back for the money, we’ll give it to the missionary. He ended turning that $100 into nearly $500 in three months. Not bad for a 12 year old.

It got me to thinking about what am I doing with the talents God has given me. Am I using them? Am I growing them? Have I invested them so that when He comes to me and asks I can show a profit? Yes, the story is about money, but I’m talking about gifts God has enabled me with. Each of us has been given certain gifts and talents. Not one of us is talentless. Sure, some have more talent and gifts than others, but that doesn’t give us the right to bury ours in the sand.

What has God given you the ability to do? Some of us are good at growing and making money. Some of us are good at helping others in need. Some of us are good at meeting strangers and talking to them. Some of us are good at building and rebuilding things. Each of us have something that we love doing and are good at. How can you use that to honor God and grow His Kingdom?

Romans 12: 6-8, Paul tells us that no matter what gift God has given you, you should do it well. And in I Corinthians 12:7, he says that a spiritual gift has been given to each one of us so we can help each other. That means that God has given you a gift! He gave each one of us a gift. What would happen if you got your gift at Christmas, but refused to open it? Someone put thought and effort into getting a gift just for you, but you refused to open it. That’s not right.

There are many who do that with the gift God has given them. They refuse to open it and share it with the world. I think that is like the third servant who buried his talent in the ground. He told the king, “I hid your talent and kept it safe.” The king was displeased with this response. He didn’t ask him to keep it safe. He asked him to risk it. How are you taking a risk with what God has given you? What can you do to take a greater risk? There’s a saying in business that says, “No risk. No reward.” Don’t be afraid to take a risk today with your gift.

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November 28, 2012 · 7:15 AM

Love Does

I used to think Bob Goff was my least favorite speaker. Now I know He is someone who leaks Jesus any way he can.

My first impression of Bob wasn’t great. I was at Catalyst and he wasn’t anything like the other speakers who happened to all be preachers. To say he was different was an understatement. After he spoke, my two friends who went with me couldn’t stop raving about him. I just smiled and nodded along wondering what they saw or heard that got them so fired up. I saw a guy on stage with balloons and a funny laugh. They saw what I couldn’t.

It wasn’t until I started reading his book “Love Does” that I began to see Bob Goff for who he is. In this book, you will find story after story of some amazing things that you can experience when you see your normal interactions as an opportunity to say “yes” and show God’s love to someone else. All of a sudden, the life you’ve been living looks boring and the life God called us to live is anything but boring.

I took my time reading this book even though I could have read it in a day. I took my time trying to not just listen to the stories, but to learn the lessons hidden throughout. I mainly read it while on a plane flying from one city to another. I’m sure the people around me felt I had schizophrenia because at times I would bust out laughing. Then a few minutes later, I would have tears rolling down my cheeks as I was humbled.

“Love Does” is an amazing read that takes your perceptions and challenges them. It has caused me to question many things that I’ve perceived as standard ways to do things and shown them in a new light by looking at how Jesus responded in those situations. If Jesus acted a certain way, why should we act any differently? Bob shows how love changes everything. How when we leak Jesus, it has an everlasting effect on others.

One of my favorite chapters is how he got into law school. Oh yeah, he’s a lawyer, not a preacher. Maybe that’s why he stood out at Catalyst! I love the story of September 11th with his kids and the incredible journey that followed just by asking a dad question. There is a story of a stranger wanting to use his backyard to get engaged that ended with the Coast Guard getting involved. Another of my favorites was the story of how a practical joke of leaving $400 room service bill for a friend ended up changing who the Consul for Uganda was.

This book is filled with incredible stories written by an incredible man. This book makes me want to live better stories and the best part is that all I have to do is say “yes” when opportunities arise. The love Jesus showed wasn’t just with His words. It was shown in His actions. Our actions should show that same love to others whether it’s a stranger or a friend. We need to get off the tracks of life that go in a circle, spin a globe, put our finger down and begin an adventure that is planned by God, not us.

I’ve never personally met Bob, but I plan to. I may have to take a trip to his office on Tom Sawyer Island at Disneyland or just find an event where he is speaking. He, like his book, is not what you expect. I had a prepackaged idea of what to expect from a speaker at Catalyst and what a book called “Love does” was all about. I was happily wrong about both. Do yourself a favor and buy this book here. You’ll be helping educate children in Uganda if you do.

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November 27, 2012 · 7:23 AM

Come Home

I’ve always loved the parable of the Prodigal Son. I’ve been able to identify with so many parts of that story throughout my life. I’ve taken my spiritual inheritance, ran off and squandered it before. I’ve come to the end of my rope and realized that the Father still has enough grace to call me His son even when I didn’t deserve it. I’ve even been the son who stayed home and was upset at how those who’ve returned home have flourished and been blessed.

When we read that, I think many of us are somewhere in that story. Some of us are on that journey away from home. All we have known is a Christian life and we somehow think we will find true happiness outside the confines of Christianity. We take what we’ve been given and throw it away. We live how we want to live. How we think we’re supposed to live. I can tell you just like the Prodigal Son could, it comes to an end at some point. There comes a time when all of that catches up and it’s not fun anymore. What was once freedom becomes a cage.

I know. I know. It’s not going to happen to you. Somehow you are different. You can do this on your own. Since the beginning, that is the lie we have all believed. Adam and Eve believed they could do it without God. Genesis 3:6 says that Eve was convinced and she wanted the wisdom that the fruit could give her. She wanted to get it on her own without God. Everything that God had given them was taken away for believing that lie.

The Prodigal believed it too. He figured he could take what was rightfully his and do better with it than his father could. As soon as it was all gone, there was a famine. Pride kept him from going home. He tried to stick it out as long as he could. He finally got so miserable that he had no pride left. He didn’t even see himself as a son anymore. There have been times where I haven’t seen myself as a son either. Where I did what I could to survive. It was miserable.

Thank God for His grace. He, like the father in the story, is patiently waiting for our return. He isn’t there to say, “I told you so.” No. He’s there to say, “I love you and I’ve missed you. Welcome home, child.” That’s the heart of the God we serve. He doesn’t sit and plot revenge on you for leaving. He sits and looks for your return so He can embrace you and call you His once again. He wants you safely in His arms where you belong.

So, where are you in this story? Have you left? Are you out having the time of your life not realizing what’s coming? Are you in that desperate place trying to figure out a way home so that you will be accepted again? Maybe you’re home now contemplating leaving. I can tell you that wherever you are in this story, God sees you. He knows where you are. Don’t believe the lies that take you away or keep you away. There is freedom in Him. There is joy in Him. There is security in Him. It’s time to come home and be His child once again.

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November 12, 2012 · 7:29 AM

Jesus is for the Weak

When Jesus was ministering on this earth, the religious scholars and leaders of His day were confused by His ministry. They wondered why He didn’t cater to the rich? Why would He hang out with the poor and the worst of sinners? It was opposite of what they were doing and people followed Him more than them. It angered them that He was able to draw such huge crowds. They followed Him to see what He was doing and often were the ones asking questions of Him.

One day they approached the disciples while He was doing just such a thing. In Mark 2:16, they asked the disciples, “Why does He eat with such scum? (NLT)” Jesus knew what they had asked and responded, “Those who are strong and well have no need of a physician, but those who are weak and sick. (AMP)” Jesus came to help the weak not the strong. The strong can defend themselves. Maybe that’s why in Psalm 72:12 it says, “He will help the oppressed, who have no one to defend them.”

In our world of mega churches, I often wonder what is the goal of our churches? Are we trying to grow numbers so we can get larger offerings to do more things? Are we so caught up in a numbers game that we are forgetting our call is to help the weak? Have we forgotten James 1:27 that says true religion is “to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need (AMP)”? True religion isn’t pandering to the rich and powerful. It isn’t having the largest church. It is caring for the weak.

Jesus was and is for the weak. He is for those who have no defender. He is for those who have no voice or someone to speak for them. He came into this world to show us that our lives should make a difference in those less fortunate than ourselves. We should do what we can with what we have to defend orphans, to care for widows, to provide for the poor and to give water to those who thirst. I always think of the scene in “Schindler’s List” when he breaks down and says, “I could have given more. I could have sold this car. I could have…”

I don’t want to get to Heaven one day with a list of “could have’s”. I want to show up broken, bruised, beat up and scarred by what I did to help and defend those whom I was called to defend. I want to hear Jesus say, “Well done. You followed my example of defending and helping the weak.” Today, this blog is putting that into action. It is sponsoring a tee at a golf tournament raising money for CoreLuv International. Their dream is to bring hope to orphans, through Jesus Christ, by partnering with communities and orphanages around the world to provide 6 basic needs: clean water, food, education, healthcare, job skills and a loving environment to call home.

Jesus is for the weak. Are you? If you don’t know where to begin, donating to people who are already making a difference is a great place to start. I recommend donating or buying merchandise from CoreLuv International. I personally know the ministers who head it up. They are making a difference in the lives of children in Haiti and around the world. You can to by simply partnering with them.

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October 25, 2012 · 7:05 AM

Perception or God’s Reality

It has been my experience that each of us go through times of low self esteem. We begin to see ourselves the way we perceive others see us. Thoughts creep in if how inadequate we are, how ugly, fat or skinny we are. We begin to dwell on those things and we end up believing them. Once we begin to believe them, we begin acting in a manner as if it were true. We begin to shut out others in our lives and isolate ourselves until we are lonely and depressed.

That is not God’s will for you. Quit imaging what you think others see when they look at you and find out what God says about you. In Psalm 139, David records how we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God made you just who you are and accepts you for that. He loves you more than any human ever could. Verse 17 says, “How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered.” God is so crazy about you and thinks about you so much that you can’t even put a number to the amount of times He think of you.

Who God says you are is more important that who anyone else says you are. Quit placing value on the words of men and place it on what God says. Ultimately what He says matters. He says in Ephesians 2:10 that you are His workmanship and in I Corinthians 3:16 that you are His temple. God created you to be who you are for a reason. You were made for His purpose as His temple. God doesn’t create junk and because He chose to make you His temple, He is telling you that you are beautiful to Him. Until you see yourself through His eyes, you will be disappointed by what you think others see.

Once you begin to see yourself through God’s eyes and you accept that you are who He says you are, you need to change your thoughts about yourself. This is the hard part. Romans 12:2 says, “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” We often hold on to those thoughts and fail to transform into who He created us to be. Here, Paul says to let go of those thoughts and let God change how you think so you can be transformed into that new person.

Our thoughts are very powerful. Thinking right things goes a long way to changing our behaviors. Philippians 4:8 tells us to fix our thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable. I love the first one: think on things that are true. Don’t believe the lies that you are worthless, ugly, fat, skinny, beyond help, alone, a failure or unworthy. Those are not true. God says you are a royalty through Him. You are His child that He is crazy in love with. Think about that and let God transform how you see yourself into how He sees you. When you do that, everything will change.

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October 24, 2012 · 7:02 AM

God’s Love Language

If you’ve ever read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary chapman then you know we each give and receive love in different ways. The ways described in this book that we each receive love are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. While you can have several, you typically have a main one. After reading this book, we found that my wife’s love language is quality time. For her to have her “love tank” full, I need to spend quality time with her.

With busy schedules, a kid and life’s distractions it can be hard to carve out quality time. Every once in a while she says, “You’re taking me on a date.” The translation of that is, “We’ve had no quality time together. It’s time to shut everything out and go somewhere where we can be alone and spend time together without distractions.” If we don’t spend that time together, our relationship suffers.

I think one of God’s main love languages is quality time too. He desires to spend quality time with us, but we get busy with life, work, family and obligations. We throw quick prayers up to heaven every so often when we really need something and rarely carve out that time that He desires with us. We then wonder why God feels so distant. We can’t figure out why we stumble in our daily walk. When we fail to show God love, we fail to fulfill our purpose.

Jesus was very busy when He walked the earth. Everywhere He went, people followed Him. They pressed in on Him. They wouldn’t leave Him alone. While He was down here showing us God’s love, He still had to go away and spend quality time with the Father. In Mark 1:35, it says that in the early morning Jesus got up, left the house and went to a secluded place to pray. He did this often because He knew the importance of spending quality time with the Father.

God asks the same of you and me. He wants us to find that time to put away the distractions of this life and to go be with Him. He wants us to turn off our cell phones, to turn off the TV, to get away from anything that would distract us and to pray. He doesn’t need it all the time, but He does need it. He needs those moments where He has your undivided attention where He can speak to you and you can speak with Him.

In Matthew 6:6, Jesus said, “When you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.” He wants to be alone with you so you can have an intimate conversation. He said to shut the door behind you so you can shut out all distractions. Build a perimeter around your prayer time so that you won’t be distracted by other things. Shutting the door keeps the things that would like to barge in on your time together outside. They’ll be there when you’re done praying and you can handle them then.

If you want to show God love in His love language, spend some alone time with Him. If you are feeling distant from God, carve out some time where the two of you can be together without distractions. As an example, I’ve given Him my commute time. I turn off the radio and put the phone on vibrate. Each morning and afternoon, I set that time aside to pray and to spend time with Him. Where and when do you have time in your schedule for God? What can you do to spend consistent quality time with Him? If you make the time, He’ll show up and you’ll be thankful you made the time.

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October 16, 2012 · 6:36 AM

Potatoes or Mangos?

The other day I opened the pantry door looking for something to eat. While I was looking at the snack shelf, my son walked in and was looking at the lower shelves. He saw a sack of potatoes and grabbed one. I heard him say, “Mmm mango.” I looked down to see him try to bite the raw potato. You can imagine the look on his face when he tasted a hard, dirty potato instead of a soft, sweet mango. I laughed and took it from him and reminded him it was a potato, not a mango.

I don’t think many of us make that same mistake and I don’t think he’ll make it again either. When it comes to spiritual food, we often make that mistake though. We bite into something thinking it’s one thing and then find out it’s another. Our spirit needs to be fed as much as our physical body. It requires water from God’s word and food as well. Jesus Himself said, “Man shall not live by bread alone” in Matthew 4:4. He was referring to spiritual food and feeding your spirit.

How hard would it be to function if you ate one or two meals a week? How would that affect your work? How would that affect your daily routines? For many of us, that is all we feed our spirit. We go to church on Sunday and sometimes Wednesday. Other than that, we don’t think much about God, we don’t read christian books or the Bible daily and we rarely pray. These are all ways that we can feed our spirit.

When someone is physically starving, we can clearly see it in them. They first begin to lose weight and then they lose strength. It isn’t so easy to see when someone is spiritually starving, but the same thing happens. We need our spiritual strength to fight off temptation and other attacks. Ephesians 6:10, 11 in the Amplified says, “Be strong in The Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him… Put on God’s whole armor [the heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able to successfully stand up against all strategies and all the deceits of the devil.”

Being strong in The Lord requires that you spend time with Him and to build yourself up in Him so you can draw your strength from Him. Putting on heavy armor also requires strength. When our spirit is weak, it can’t handle that heavy armor. We look like David did when Saul tried to make him wear his armor. We need to armor on so we can successfully stand up against the attacks of the enemy. Without being able to bear that armor, we open ourselves to being deceived and to falling for temptations.

Are you facing attacks right now without armor? Are you being easily defeated in life? Do you keep falling into the same temptation over and over again? Those are signs that you need to strengthen your spiritual man? We need good food to feed our spirit man. Spend time praying each day, carve out a few minutes to read a verse or two from the Bible and then think about that verse, what it means and how you can apply it to your life. Read books that equip you to be a better Christian and help you to grow. Spend time with other believers and talk about spiritual things too. Don’t settle for potatoes when God has mangos for you!

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