Tag Archives: faith

Stuck In The Waiting

I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you
Which shall be the darkness of God.…
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.

-T. S. Eliot, “East Coker”

I read these words in Philip Yancey’s book “Disappointment with God”. I was going through a brutal spell in my life. If you’ve read the book, maybe it helped. But it didn’t help me. In fact it just made me feel worse for all the people referenced in the book as well as for myself.
Why do bad things happen to generally decent people? I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I’ll ever understand this side of heaven. It might be better if I stopped asking. But there are few things that haven’t escaped me. Maybe they were rungs on the ladder that kept me hitting rock bottom. Here they are:

I’m not in control. Even if I was, I don’t know what’s best for me.

It’s true – and actually this struck me when things were going well. What do you do when the things that happened by “chance” turned out better than your carefully laid plans? This had been the case a couple different times and while I was overwhelmed with gratitude, it eerily bothered me. When my tides turned, I realized that it goes both ways. In the end, I’m not God. I don’t know what’s best for me, I can’t see the big picture of God’s plan for me and I can’t control all the outcomes in my life. Living by faith means accepting both the good and the bad and realizing both are temporal. Accepting the fact that life isn’t fair helps too.

Take responsibility. Don’t sabotage myself.

If you’ve ever wondered if your life could get any worse, let me clear that up for you real quick. The answer is always yes. That may sound like a morbid thing to say, but the truth is that we’re always one decision away from making things much worse. And when things aren’t going well, we’re in the DANGER ZONE. Think about it: if you’re stuck in a crummy job, you are only one decision away from not having a job at all. If your marriage is going poorly, you are only one decision or one conversation away from a further setback. If you aren’t married and wish you were, you are one or several decisions away from creating a lot more misery for yourself and others.

It’s tempting to say that “God wills” my circumstances to be what they are and then act like a victim. But actually we’re usually our own worst enemy. Proverbs 19:3 says, “People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord” (NLT). When the chips are down, the temptation is even stronger to make foolish choices that add to our pain. We can’t always control our circumstances, but in every situation, we always have a choice of how to respond. And that means we have the responsibility to make a good choice, no matter how good or bad circumstances are.

Realize my pain will be able to be used in a positive way in the future.

If someone had said this to me when I was down, it would’ve brought me up real fast… swinging. That’s not what I wanted to hear. But unfortunately, not “just anyone” said these words. They came from Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, recounting his experiences as a Jewish prisoner in Auschwitz. They were also shared by psychologists to the survivors of the PanAm Flight 73 hijacking in 1986 as they prepared to board their next flight.
Those folks have “cred” in my book. I may not like the message, but I can take it coming from them. When I’m hurting, the last thing I want is “some perspective,” but even so, they’ve had far worse than me.

If you’re in pain, there is a sense in which you’re alone. Proverbs 14:10 says, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy” (NLT). No one else can walk your path for you and you may not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I couldn’t. When we’re stuck “in the waiting,” as Eliot’s poem says, we likely won’t be able to see the redemption in our circumstances. It’s only by faith that we can believe that this too shall pass.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach and thought leader. Visit him today at NathanMagnuson.com or follow him on Twitter.

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Your Faith Is Your Responsibility

Right now my phone is blowing up with pictures from all over of the lines people are standing in for the iPhone. With every launch, there seems to be this anticipation that people get so that they can have or see the newest device. Apple has been masterful at marketing and creating demand for their products. They have learned how to create demand like no other company. It’s always intriguing to me to see this.

It would be awesome to see people lined up outside of churches each Sunday in anticipation of this week’s message. It would be incredible if there was a huge demand for people to spend time with God. How would church be different if there was that kind of anticipation? What if we ourselves had that kind of anticipation to hear what God had to say to us? How would it change our lives? I don’t mean this piece to be a Jesus Juke. I’m asking myself these questions too.

I’m not suggesting we adopt a marketing strategy like Apple to get people in the door. I’m suggesting each of us who are believers get excited about God. If it’s a struggle for us week in and week out to go to church, how can we expect others to want to go? If the Bible seems boring to us, how can we expect others to be excited about it? If the thought of spending an hour in prayer (spending time with God) a day seems like a chore, why would we think anyone else would want to do it?

We keep looking at a pastor or priest to motivate us to be who God called us to be. That’s not their job. They are to reinforce what you get from God on a daily basis. What would your life look like if you only ate one meal a week? How hard would it be to survive and to do your job? Why do we think our spirit can survive on one meal a week given by someone else at a place we struggle to go to? Excitement about our faith starts with each one of us. Spiritual growth is our responsibility.

We keep looking for the church to grow and win the lost, but forget that we individually are the church. It’s our responsibility to grow the church, share our faith and win the lost. We expect the pastor to motivate us from God’s Word and never crack open the scriptures during the week. Our faith has to become exciting to us first before it can be exciting to others. We have to daily remind ourselves where we were heading, how we were feeling and what we were saved from if we want others to find what we’ve found. We can’t sit idly by knowing we’re saved without being concerned about others who aren’t.

How would your spiritual life be different if you anticipated going to church each Sunday instead of anticipating when the service will be over? How many of your friends and co-workers can see your excitement about what you believe? If they can’t, what needs to happen to reignite that flame? What do you need to do to make your faith grow and to come alive? It’s not someone else’s responsibility to get you excited about God and to motivate you to serve Him. It’s yours. It’s a daily task and I think that’s part of what Jesus meant when He told us to take up our cross daily, not just on Sunday.

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Test Day

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I’ve never really liked tests before even though I’m pretty good at them. Any time the word “test” comes up, I think of one of my high school teachers, Mr. Hart. He loved giving tests. He would wear a red contact lens, the ugliest tie he could find and eat a bag of chips while you were taking it. He’d ask, “Is this bothering you,” and then give an evil laugh. He’d ask questions that would earn you a Nobel Prize if you could answer them. His “bonus” questions came from movies like “Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail”. Maybe my memory has added to his legend, but that’s how I remember taking tests in his class.

I remember doing a lot of studying for tests to make sure I passed. I read back through the chapter, looked at my notes, made flash cards and quizzed other classmates to prepare. You knew the subject matter, but not what to expect on the test. As a person who played sports, there was extra pressure to pass since the “No Pass No Play” law had gone into effect. I wouldn’t have let myself down by failing, but my team too. So I put a lot of time and energy into making sure I knew the material.

All those memories came flooding back when I read what Paul wrote to the Corinthian church in II Corinthians 13:5-9. He said, “Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don’t drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. (MSG)”. Paul was saying to do with our faith what I did for tests in school. Read the book (Bible), look at notes (commentaries), make flash cards (memorize scripture) and quiz other classmates (have accountability partners to help you learn and grow).

Just like we had to prepare for what Mr. Hart might throw at us, we need to be prepared for what might challenge our faith. Times of testing shouldn’t come as a surprise to us. They shouldn’t scare us either if we’ve prepared beforehand. If you can read this, you’ve lived enough life to know that you’re going to be tested. If you’re a Christian, you should know your faith will be tested. It’s not so that you will fail, but to make sure you know what you believe. When I give tests at work, I jokingly call them “celebrations of knowledge” to relieve the stress. I’m not trying to get you to fail, I’m trying to showcase how much you’ve learned.

God does that with us too. He’s not up there trying to see if you’ll fail when He tests you. He’s wanting to show you how much you’ve learned and what you need to work on. Paul understood this and encouraged us to test ourselves ahead of time so we could pass with flying colors. When we do that, we won’t take our faith for granted or drift along. We’ll know what we believe, be able to confidently speak God’s Word when the enemy comes against us and live out our faith with a purpose and a passion. What will you do today to prepare for the testing of your faith?

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Fixing Your Life

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As I was pulling out of the parking lot at work yesterday, I felt God tell me to go the opposite direction that I should have. So I turned left instead of right. About a block away I saw a young lady trying to change her tire. I pulled up beside her and asked if she needed help. She was clearly frustrated and said, “At this point, I don’t think I can turn down help.” She had been trying to place the jack under the car in order to raise it up. She had it in position, but was having trouble turning the knob that lifted the jack.

I looked over at the styrofoam block that contained her jack and noticed there was an empty hole where the jack bar was supposed to be. I asked her where that was, but she didn’t know. I tried once or twice turning the knob by hand, but didn’t have the required strength to do it. I went to my car, got the jack out of it, slid it under her car and quickly raised it. In no time her spare was on and we were both able to head out. Having the right tool made all the difference.

I started thinking that’s how life is. When we get stranded on the side of life’s road broken down, we get frustrated trying to fix it without the right tools. We don’t try to flag anyone down to help us until we’re at the end of our rope. This lady had tried to call family members, but no one answered when she called. She didn’t know what else to do, but to keep trying even though it didn’t make sense. In the end, she was tired, worn out, upset and ready to give up.

I’ve been there in life. I lacked the strength and tools to make the changes necessary to get my life back on the road and moving again. I laid down in my living room and cried out to God, “I can’t do it! I don’t know how!” He met me there and said, “Finally.” I thought it was a strange response. He said, “Finally you’ve given up trying to do this in your own strength. Now try doing it in my strength. My strength is made perfect in your weakness.” I had to come to the realization that we weren’t made to handle all the troubles and cares of this life on our own. He told us over and over in His Word to cast our cares and burdens on Him, but we don’t get it.

He has the tools necessary to fix your life when you don’t. He has the strength needed to pick you up when you don’t. He has always given us the choice to continue struggling on our own or to rely on His strength. It’s just a matter of when each one of us makes the realization for ourselves that we need Him to help us. It took a while for me to learn how to walk in His strength. I’m still learning, but I’m getting better at calling out to Him sooner for help. What will it take to get you to the point where you can’t turn down His help?

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Out Of The Hole

It’s hard for me to believe that next week I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of the lowest point of my life. I know it seems odd to celebrate such an event, but for me, it was a turning point in my life. It was the moment when I refused to go any lower than I was and made the decision that I would claw my way out of the hole that I was in no matter how much effort it took and no matter how long it took. I’m still clawing my way out of that hole, but now I’m starting to see daylight.

Ten years ago, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. There was no hope of ever recovering from what I had been through. I was hurt, embarrassed and alone. Sure I had a few friends around me, but no one truly knew the depth of my pain or what I was struggling with. I made a conscious effort to never think about that time in my life. I felt that if I could pretend it was a bad dream, the pain would go away. I thought that if I never spoke of it again, then I could put it behind me.

I moved on with my life pretending that I hadn’t gone through a painful divorce, filed for bankruptcy, lost my business or ran away from those who cared most about me. I figured that the best way out was to start my life over fresh and new as if none of it never happened. The problem was it did happen. Underneath everything I was still a mess inside. I was still hurt to the core. I was mad at God for letting me walk through that. I was mad at others thinking my failures were somehow their fault. It all boiled down to bad decision making by me.

Once I was able to take responsibility for the things that happened, I began to move forward. It’s not easy to look in the mirror when you know the pain inside is caused by the person looking back at you. I know other people played roles in delivering the punches that knocked me down, but I made the decisions that put them there and put myself in that position. I left myself open for the gut shots that took the wind out of my desire to live or move on.

I hid the pain for over seven years as I moved on with life. It was then that God spoke to me through Dave Roever that I needed to expose the wounds and face them head on. Since that time, I have begun to share my story being open and honest about what happened. I have found healing for the wounds that were so deep. I still feel the pain like I did every time I open them up, but I know that through my wounds others can find help, hope and healing for theirs.

I don’t know what you’re facing today, but I know what it’s like to hit rock bottom and feel like there’s no way out. I know what it’s like to think that there’s only one way out of the pain and anger. I can tell you that there is another way out. I found it. It was through forgiving myself and others who hurt me. It was in finding forgiveness through Jesus for the unthinkable wrongs I’d committed. It was over the course of years, hard work, dedication and never giving up. If I can make it out of that hole, you can too.

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A Church Full of Hypocrites

Sometimes I think we all forget that the church is made up by people like you and me. It’s full of imperfect people who, despite being forgiven of their past, still struggle to escape it. There are people who go, not because they are Christians, but because they think it’s good to go. There are people who go only because they want their children to be exposed to it. There are people who go in order to find absolution for something they’ve done that they can’t forgive themselves of.

There is no one perfect in any church. Not the pastor, preacher, priest, rabbi or person sitting next to you in the pew. Somehow, we expect them to be because they are Christians. We expect them to always say the right things, do the right things and to drop everything to pay attention to us. When that doesn’t happen, we label them hypocrites. We say the church is full of people who are fake. Yet, we don’t go look in the mirror and hold ourselves to that same perfect standard.

If the church was truly full of perfect people, why would anyone want to go there? I’m glad the church has hypocrites, liars and cheaters in it. That means that there are people there who know they don’t have it all together, but they know the place where they can go to get help. They recognize they don’t have all the answers so they go to the place where they can find some of the answers to their questions. The person up front doesn’t have all the answers either. They’ve just chosen to be an imperfect person who has submitted to being the one whom God could speak through.

So many of us have left churches or church all together because we’ve held an imperfect person to a perfect standard. It’s a standard that not even we ourselves could ever live up to. I’ve been on churches all over the world and I’ve yet to meet a person in one of them who ever claimed to be perfect or had the ability to always say the right thing. I’ve learned to cut people a lot of slack for things they have said or done that have offended me because I need that same grace from them. I say and do things that offend others too because I’m not perfect. The fact that I go to church doesn’t somehow prevent me from doing that.

This Sunday is “Back to Church Sunday”. If you’ve ever left the church because you were offended or held an imperfect person to a perfect standard just because they were a Christian, I want to invite you to go back this weekend with a different set of lenses on. Go in with eyes that recognize the people in there are just like you. They don’t have it all figured out, they might be hypocrites, they might be liars, but know that they’re there in order to change from those ways. Put aside your pride and offer them the same grace you want them to offer you.

I look forward to seeing you in church this Sunday. If you’re looking for someone who is perfect, you won’t find them. But if you’re looking for a friendly face on an imperfect person, I’ll save you a seat next to me. I hope that you’ll give church a second chance this weekend.

Click here for a short video that I saw earlier this week about “Back to Church Sunday” that I think you’ll like.

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A Call to Love

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to truly love people. As Christians, we are called to love others. Jesus said that the world would know we are His disciples by our love for others, but is that what we are known for? I’ve been reminded a few times this week through conversations and quotes I’ve read that we need to learn to love more than we are. We spend more time judging than we do loving and that’s a problem.

One of the quotes I read this week came from Mother Teresa. It said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” We have to fight against our human nature with this one. It’s easy to sit and judge, but difficult to go and love. Loving others requires us to act and it’s not an easy thing to do at times. Judging simply involves talking and requires little effort. It’s up to each one of us to consciously keep our mouths closed and to show others love instead.

Another quote I was reminded again came from Peter Strople. He said, “When in doubt, love.” If you aren’t sure what to do in a certain situation, ask yourself how you can show God’s love to that person. If you were the on,y one who had the opportunity to show God’s love to them, what would God ask you to do? Don’t pass the buck. You may be the only person who can show them God’s love and He is waiting on you to act on His behalf. Mark Batterson said, “Inaction is action. Indecision is a decision.” By not doing anything, you are telling them everything.

I also read an article about Uncle Si Robertson from Duck Dynasty this week. He was asked what his favorite verse was. He said, “John 3:17. Everybody knows verse 16, but nobody looks at verse 17.” In the Message it says, “God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending His son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help.” Jesus didn’t spend His time judging sinners. He spent His time building relationships with them. Why aren’t we following His model?

I’m writing this today to myself as much as to anyone else that bears the name Christian. We are known more for judging than for loving. We are known for pointing fingers instead of helping hands. We’ve been so caught up in being in the world, not of the world that we’ve built walls between the ourselves and the ones we’re called to help. It’s no wonder that church growth is comprised mainly of switchers instead of new converts. We spend time and money trying to build a better service than the church down the road instead of spending time and money on things that help to build the relationships needed to truly grow the Church.

It all comes down to love. It’s not our minister’s job to do it, it’s ours. They can’t touch as many people as we, the body, can collectively. We can’t grow the Church because we’ve separated ourselves from those who need God’s love in an effort to stay clean. Jesus hung out with leppers, prostitutes and the worst of sinners because that’s who needs His love the most. It’s time we followed His example, built relationships with unbelievers and showed them His love in action. Don’t sit in judgement behind walls. Get your hands dirty and love others.

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Right Words at the Right Time

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I believe in the power of words and in paying it forward. I was excited to see a news story out of North Carolina that combined the two. A family went to dinner at a pizza restaurant and their child with special needs started to get rowdy. People started looking and I’m sure it was embarrassing for the parents. A waitress walked over with tears in her eyes and said, “Another customer has paid for your dinner and wanted me to give you this note.” It read, “God only gives special children to special people.”

At a moment when these parents were upset themselves over the situation they couldn’t control, someone else saw through the temporary and gave them hope through words. Proverbs 25:11 in the Message says, “The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry.” The customer who sent over the note had no idea that this family needed those words at that moment like they did. The mom said, “Little did he know what struggles we had been facing lately and this was surely needed at that moment.”

The mom also said that this one gesture outweighed all the other rude and negative comments they face every day. Proverbs 18:21 says that the power of life and death are in the tongue. Each one of us wields a powerful weapon. How we choose to use it matters. The easy thing in this situation is to roll your eyes and ask why they brought the child into a public restaurant in the first place. I’m sure most of the patrons in that restaurant fit into that category. Thank God for one person who had the boldness to not only say the right words at the right time, but purchased their meal too.

That’s where paying it forward comes into play. I believe paying it forward is scriptural. Most of us had to memorize the Golden Rule as a child: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. There probably isn’t anyone reading this who wouldn’t love to be at dinner and to have the server come over and say, “Someone has paid for your meal.” We would love that, but have we done it for someone else? The Golden Rule doesn’t say, “Do unto others as they have done unto you.”

You may not be in a position to buy someone’s meal, but you are in a position to speak life into someone. If you see someone having a difficult day, give them an encouraging word. If you see someone struggling where you’ve been, offer a helping hand and words of advice. A saying I heard a while back still rings true. It says, “When you share in someone’s sadness, sorrow is divided. When you share in their joy, it is multiplied.” We all have days where we would love to have our emotional load divided with someone. Why not pay that forward today and help someone else out?

If you’d like to read the article I’m referencing, click here.

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The Other Side of Obedience

Years ago, I made a lot of mistakes. I’m not saying I still don’t make them, but the ones I’m talking about were life altering mistakes. I’m still paying for them a decade later. I knew I was still paying for them physically, mentally and emotionally, but I hadn’t really understood how I was paying for them spiritually. Once I sought God’s forgiveness for those mistakes, that aspect was taken care of, but there was more to it than my need for forgiveness. There have been barriers that I’ve built up because of it that have caused me to limit God’s ability to bless me.

I feel like I’m a pretty blessed person as it is, but over the last few weeks, I’m realizing that God desires to bless me more than He has been. Recently, my wife and I have been working together to tear down a wall that was built years ago from those mistakes. As we pull it down brick by brick, it’s been like cracks in a dam. Blessings have been gushing out at us. We look at each other in amazement after each incident and wonder, “Could we have experienced this years ago had we tried to tear it down then?” I think the answer is yes.

God has several principles or laws in place that if we were to simply obey, we’d reap the reward on the other side. One of those laws is “give and it shall be given to you.” We’ve mainly heard this applied to the Church, but I believe it applies to anyone. If you give to others, God opens doors to bless you. I’ve heard it said, “If God can get it through you, He’ll get it to you.” I’m finding this to be true in my own life. The more we’re willing to give to others, the more God is willing to give to us. That said, giving in order to get is the wrong motivation.

When we give in order to bless, God sees our hearts and is willing to open up the windows of Heaven to pour out blessings on us. I think those blessings are intended to keep the cycle of blessing others going. If we hoard the blessings that God pours on us, then the cycle stops. We become like the man in the parable who hid his talent. What we have will be taken from us instead of us giving it freely. God trusts us with the ability to bless others, but we fail to trust Him to do His part. We’re afraid to let go because we have too little.

What I’ve found is that even my “little” can be a blessing to someone else. When I released that “little”, God released more to me. When I released that amount, He poured out more. Now we are enjoying the cycle of blessing. Just last night, my wife said, “I’m excited to see how this next blessing will take place.” God gave us a blessing yesterday and now we’re actively looking to see how we can give it away. It’s not because we’re expecting God to turn around and bless us again, but because being a blessing is so much fun. Acting on God’s behalf is the greatest blessing there is.

Our friend Mike always asks, “What has God placed in your hands?” It may not be much in your eyes, but it is a lot to someone else and even more in God’s eyes. Whatever God has given you and told you to release, let me encourage you today to be faithful to God with it. If He asks you to release it, then release it. You will be tearing down a wall that has been holding back blessings just waiting to be released because of your obedience. Look around today and be a blessing to others. You never know what’s on the other side of your obedience.

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Get Up, Don’t Give Up

For the first time in a long time, I watched the movie “Rudy”. If you’ve never seen it, it’s the story of a young kid who wants to play football for Notre Dame. His family laughs when he tells them he’s going to. His high school won’t let him go visit the campus because his grades weren’t good enough. Notre Dame refused to let him in also. None of that stopped him. He finally got accepted and made the practice squad for the football team. Every time he got hit, he got back up for the next play.

The story is really about what someone who has a lot of heart can endure and accomplish. Rudy wasn’t athletic, but he was strong willed. He wasn’t smart, but he was a hard worker. He wasn’t easily dismayed because he had determination. His coaches all wished they could take his heart and put it in someone with athletic ability. He kept pushing for his dream no matter what others said.

Where most people would have given up, he kept getting up. That’s a lesson for each of us today. It’s easy to give up when life keeps hitting us. It’s natural to want to stay down when others think you should just give up. But God put something in each one of us that makes us want to get back up. I know that after a while, that thing that God put in us can get awful quiet compared the thoughts of quitting and giving up. It can seem non-existent when you’re on your back and you have stars going around your head because you’ve just been hit so hard.

Let’s be honest. It’s easy to stay down. The fear of getting hit again tries to talk you into staying down. The embarrassment of the situation and what others think starts to convince you to just give up. It makes me think of a demotivational poster I once saw that said, “At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.” Those are the thoughts that the enemy brings to keep you down and to convince you not to get back up. He does that because he knows that each time you get back up, you’re stronger for it.

At some point, he has to quit throwing stuff at you. He knows this is only temporary, but if he can convince you it’s permanent, you’ll stay down and quit. When that happens, he wins. For me, I can’t stand to lose, especially to the enemy. I learned what it took to motivate myself to get back up each day, take a hit and to keep moving forward. It all starts with the mind. You must learn to block the thoughts that tell you to give up. You must learn to motivate yourself with God’s Word. Understand that while you have it bad, someone else has it worse. If they could still stand, I knew I could.

You may have to take several more hits before this is over. Stand strong though. Know that this period of trials and struggles is only temporary. I know that when it keeps coming month after month it doesn’t feel that way. Get back up today, stand your ground and declare that you won’t lose any more ground. Seek God’s strength to help you when yours fails. Know that you are becoming stronger than you ever would have if these things wouldn’t have happened and God will always be able to use that in your future.

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